


High Bearer--James T. Kirk

by Fairhaven74



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Bottom Jim, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Underage Relationship(s), Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kidnapping, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Post Mpreg, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Stockholm Syndrome, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 63,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8558113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairhaven74/pseuds/Fairhaven74
Summary: Jim Kirk was taken from Tarsus IV before the Federation could rescue the colonists.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. I currently have three chapters of this story finished and one more almost done. I will be posting once a week on this story. I will try to post either on Sunday or Monday.
> 
> ***WARNING***  
> Please read and take note of all tags. This story has many elements to it and if any of the tags is a trigger to you please be aware of them. Jim does not believe that he is being abused, but I have marked it non-con for many elements.

James stood in front of the mirror in his rooms; he was wearing the traditional garb of his husband’s people, and it hid him well. He tried to be the perfect little submissive mate to his husband, that was how he had been raised. He ran his hands down his clothing to ensure that it was smooth and fixed in the appropriate way. His dress was the traditional outfit for carrier mates; it was blue like his eyes; the pants were covered with a long tunic that had gold and silver embroidery, proclaiming him the property of the High Prince of Teldor, Hohep. James ran his hand over his slightly protruding belly; the only sign that he was pregnant. Hohep was insistent that this one would be a boy and James hoped that it was because then his daughter would be returned to him.

His daughter, Sarah, was born two years before; James had been allowed to give her a human name since she was a female. Females were not common on Teldor; surprisingly, being rare did not make them valuable. Jim was the valuable one; males that could carry children were highly prized on Teldor. Jim remembered when he first met Hohep, then just Crown Prince of Teldor; he was living with his mother, brother, and step-father on Tarsus IV. His mother and brother, Sam, had left the colony to visit Jim’s grandparents on Earth. Jim had wanted to go but was told by his step-father that his grandparents requested he not visit. Jim didn’t understand that because his grandparents had wanted to gain custody of him and Sam before they left for Tarsus IV. Jim had watched his mother and Sam board the transport shuttle back to Earth trying not to cry, he had only been nine.

It was two months later when he would meet Hohep. Tarsus IV was suffering from a fungus that ruined food crops; the people were starving, and Governor Kodos said that Starfleet and the Federation couldn’t or wouldn’t help. Governor Kodos had gathered all the colonists to inform them that a sacrifice would be needed to save everyone. Jim hadn’t known what type of sacrifice they had to make, but it didn’t sound good. He was pulled from his step-father, Frank, and taken to the front of the meeting hall. He found that all the young boys around his age had been assembled similarly. An older man, about Frank’s age, wandered around the group of kids. He came towards Jim and ran his hand over Jim’s slightly too long hair, making the hairs on Jim’s arms stand up in fear. Whatever this man wanted was not right, and he had latched onto Jim.

“This one,” the man said, pointing at Jim.

“Of course, High Prince,” Governor Kodos replied bowing slightly.

“You will have your cure for the pestilence destroying your crops. I am also generous and will leave food for your people to sustain them until the new crops begin to produce. Come, boy,” the man told Jim.

“Where are we going? My… mother will be back soon, and she won’t be happy if I’m not here,” Jim said, turning to look at Frank. His step-father had a self-satisfied look on his face; one he had only seen when Frank had convinced his mother to move to Tarsus.

“I will forgive your rudeness this once, boy, as you do not know our ways; however, do not try my patience. You are coming with me to Teldor, where you will be raised in our ways and eventually mated and married to my son Hohep.”

“I… I’m sorry... but… I’m sure it’s a great honor… but I don’t want to go with you,” Jim said, trying to sound sincere.

“It does not matter what you want or wish; you are now the property of Crown Prince Hohep of Teldor. I am the High Prince, Hohen of Teldor, and you will obey me or suffer the consequences.”

Jim swallowed, “I’m not property. I’m a Federation citizen, and you have no right to take me from this planet or from my legal guardian.”

The hand that hit him hit with such force it knocked Jim to the ground. His eyes watered from the pain and his ears were ringing; the man, Hohen, reached into his tunic and pulled out a black piece of what looked like leather to Jim. The man advanced on Jim and pulled him from the ground, he wrapped the black strip of leather around Jim’s neck and secured it with a snap. He smiled at Jim and said, “now, you shall be quiet. You shall learn. This collar is designed to teach obedience and silence; you will not be able to speak unless it is removed, and it can only be removed by me. It is keyed to my genetics. Now, what is this boy’s name?”

“James Tiberius Kirk, High Prince,” Frank replied.

“You are his father?”

“Step-father, your Majesty,” Frank replied with deference.

“You will be justly compensated for his loss,” Hohen said. “Governor, I take my leave now; my ministers shall continue negotiations in my stead,” Hohen said.

He then grabbed Jim’s arm and pulled him along behind him; Jim stumbled as he tried to keep up with the much larger man. Jim wanted to fight, but he felt lethargic. Jim was trying to wrap his brain around the situation and find a way out, but something was stopping him. The next thing Jim knew; he was aboard a ship and being taken to a room. The room turned out to be a med bay, and Jim was told to climb onto the bed and lay down. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t stop the compulsion to comply. Once he was on the bed he was strapped down, and he felt a hypo being pushed to his neck, and then the world went black.

Jim spent the next four years learning to be the perfect submissive mate to his future husband. The collar had not come off for over a year. When they finally allowed him to speak, his voice was so quiet that he wasn’t sure anyone could hear him. He had learned over the year of instruction that his collar, not only prevented him from speaking, but it also gave him a low dose of some drug that kept him submissive and pliant. Hohep had just used the collar on him once more; Jim had tried to escape, but he had been caught and punished, he never tried again.

Jim was drawn from his memories by a hand gently caressing his belly; he dipped his head and whispered, “what do you wish, my husband?”

“Many things James; however, we do not have time for what I wish to do to you, as our guests arrive shortly.”

“Yes, my husband.”

“If you are on your best behavior and do not make a scene, I shall let you see your daughter for an hour tomorrow.”

“Yes, my husband. Your graciousness is most accepted, my husband,” Jim said, happy that he would be seeing his daughter tomorrow.

“Understand, James, that these people are important and we need this treaty.”

“Yes, my husband. What do you wish me to do, my husband?”

“I wish you to be gracious and to exalt our virtues and greatness. I believe our guests need us as much as we need them.”

“Yes, my husband.”

“They may question you regarding your… condition; dismiss it as normal, do you understand?”

Jim didn’t swallow; he didn’t tense, “yes, my husband.”

“Do not allow anyone to touch you, James.”

“Never, my husband,” Jim said scandalized.

“Very well, James, come, we should not be late.”

Jim took Hohep’s hand and followed his husband towards the banquet room; he would be on his best behavior when he met the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> I hadn't planned on posting this chapter so soon but there seemed to be some interest in this story and I did just complete the fifth chapter of it. 
> 
> A few things I had not mentioned before all characters will probably seem OOC at some point in the story. Jim's speech will be very formal. If anyone thinks I missed a tag that should be added please let me know, thanks.

Hohep escorted James to his seat at the banquet table. Jim understood his role and would perform it without error. He did not smile; he did not raise his eyes from his plate, Jim sat as still and quiet as he could. If he were asked a question he would answer, but he would not engage their guests; that would be unseemly for someone of his status.

The food was placed on his plate, the server careful not to touch Jim. Jim was only allowed to touch his husband and his daughter. Jim was enjoying his food when a young dark-skinned female with long beautiful hair sat next to him. He waited for her to acknowledge him, as was custom.

“Hello, I’m Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, communications officer for the Enterprise.”

“I am James, High Royal Mate to High Prince Hohep, most honorable guest.”

“Oh… you’re his husband?”

“No, he is my husband, and I am his mate and bearer, most honorable guest.”

“Please call me Nyota,” she said, in a friendly tone.

“Your graciousness is most accepted; however, that is not permitted to me, most honorable guest.”

“I’m sorry… am I breaking a rule or customer talking to you?”

“No, most honorable guest.”

“May I ask you some questions?” Nyota asked, having been instructed by Captain Pike to learn what she could about the culture of the Teldorians.

“Yes, most honorable guest.”

Damn that was going to get old fast, “you are dressed differently than everyone else we have come across, why?”

James glanced at her when he spoke it was with deliberate caution, “I am my husband’s bearer and as such this is the traditional dress for one of my status, most honorable guest.”

“You seem to be… smaller than the others, too?” she knew it was a rude question, but something about this James seemed off.

“I am a bearer, that is my nature, most honorable guest.”

She felt like she was beating her head against a wall, “the embroidery on your shirt is beautiful,” she said changing the subject.

“Your graciousness is most accepted, most honorable guest.”

“I’m supposed to learn about your culture, but most of the Teldorians that I’ve met won’t talk to me. It’s frustrating.”

“They are not used to a female, they are rare on Teldor, most honorable guest.”

“Oh… um… you don’t seem to have that problem?”

“I… am exposed to females far more, most honorable guest.”

“So there are some on the planet… why haven’t we met any? Are they secluded because they are rare?”

“No, they have many duties to attend to and are quite busy, most honorable guest.”

Nyota was about to ask another question when Pike called to her, “I’m sorry, I have to attend my captain.”

“Of course, most honorable guest.”

She smiled at James and left him to his food. She crossed the room to Captain Pike and found him looking at her with concern, “Sir?”

“Later. We have been asked to return tomorrow for another feast… apparently, it is a tradition.”

“Of course, Captain. Are we returning to the ship?”

“Yes, Spock is already at the beam-up site.”

“Very well, sir,” Nyota said, followed her captain out of the room.

******

“James,” Hohep said.

“Yes, my husband?”

“Prepare and wait in your rooms for me.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said, as rose from his seat and crossed the banquet room. As he exited the room, his guards fell in behind him and ensured his safe return to his apartment. Once Jim was inside, he removed his clothing and returned it to his closet. He gave himself a quick glance in his mirror; his belly was showing; he was only five months. His gold cuffs were secure and in their proper position, and his marriage collar was correct. He walked to his bed and laid down to await his husband. Jim reached between his legs and pushed a finger into his hole. His husband would want him ready for his sexual pleasure. Jim felt his natural lubrication begin making his passage slick. While he waited for his husband, he let his mind wander away from his current condition to the past.

He had been on Teldor for two months when Hohen visited him. Jim was sitting in his rooms, the only place they allowed him to roam. He had not been out of the rooms since their arrival on Teldor. They were large and consisted of a sitting area, bedroom, bathroom, and medical exam room. Once the ship had docked, Jim had been transported to the apartment that would become his prison. In those rooms, he found maids who would be his only company for many months; their jobs were to care for his needs and instruct him in proper submissive Teldor bearer status. He was educated in Teldor history, art, language, and culture.

After two months, he could read and write the language but was unable to speak it because of his collar. He had hoped that Starfleet would come for him, but the longer he was trapped on the planet, the less hope he had. He had yet to be instructed in what was expected of him as the future mate to the prince. When Hohen arrived, Jim figured that his further education was to begin. He had been right, Hohen began to instruct him in what his future held. That was when he found out what a bearer was; he had been terrified by the idea. He was a human male, and he didn’t know how to tell them that he could not get pregnant, but he figured they would learn that later.

“You have done well, James,” Hohen said.

Jim just dipped his head in acknowledgment.

“I will teach you the duties of a bearer; do you know what a bearer is, James?”

Keeping his eyes lowered, Jim again dipped his head.

“Do you understand that you are now a bearer?”

Trying to keep his shock from showing, Jim continued to keep his eyes lowered but tipped his head down and to the left side.

“Yes, I understand that human males cannot bear children; however, you are no longer strictly human, James.”

Jim was terrified by Hohen’s words; he swallowed but kept his eyes lowered and again tipped his head down and to the side.

“You, as a bearer are not capable of understanding the complex process we employed to alter your genetic foundation; let us say that as you mature, you will experience what was done to you. Now, James, stand.”

Jim stood, as ordered; he wanted to protest Hohen’s dismissal of his intelligence, but he was too afraid of reprisal.

“Excellent, James. Now, follow me.”

Jim did; he followed Hohen out of his main sitting room and into the medical exam room, keeping his head down as he walked.

“Sit,” Hohen said, pointing to a chair with restraints.

Jim sat and the cuffs he wore automatically secured his arms and legs to the chair. His collar snapped in place raising his head up. He kept his eyes lowered for fear he would be punished if he looked at Hohen.

“Very good, James,” Hohen purred, “you will now learn all that you will need to be the mate and bearer for your future husband. It is disappointing that you are so young. If you were older, I would take you for mine, but it would not be permitted. Relax and allow the device to do its magic.”

Hohen lowered something onto Jim’s head, and Jim's eyes closed involuntarily. He saw images of different sexual positions and people engaging in them; Sam and one of his friends had shown Jim porn before Sam left to visit their grandparents. It hadn’t been this graphic. A teenage boy was on his hands and knees with a much older and larger man behind him; Jim wanted to escape and hide from all the images he was seeing, but he couldn’t. The images shifted to punishment; he saw what would happen to him if he disobeyed his husband and it made him shudder. Jim didn’t know much about sex and less about kinky sex, but he did know what being beaten felt like. The images flashed so quickly that he couldn’t keep them straight in his mind; however, he was confident that this device was somehow altering his brain to retain all the knowledge. Suddenly, the images stopped, the device was removed, and he slowly opened his eyes, continuing to keep them down.

“I shall return in an hour and the magic will happen again, James. This shall be your days for the next two months after you will be tested on what you have learned. If you fail, you will be punished,” Hohen said, as he turned and left Jim still secured to the chair.

Jim let the tears flow for almost the whole hour that Hohen was gone and when he returned the process began again. Jim was drawn from his thoughts when he felt a sharp sting on his thigh; his husband had arrived.

“Where were you, James?”

“In the past, during my training, my husband,” Jim said, not wanting to receive further punishment.

“What part of your training were you experiencing, James.”

“My first day with the training device, my husband.”

“Oh, how I wish we could re-enact some of your training. Once my child is born, we shall James,” his husband purred, as he pushed a finger into Jim’s bottom.

Hohen felt that Jim’s passage already slick with the natural lubrication, “good, you are ready for me,” he said as he pushed into Jim with his cock. Hohep grabbed Jim’s hands and pushed them above his head, pinning Jim to the bed with his weight. Hohep thrust his hips forward and pulled back, repeatedly. In and out and Jim became slicker, and his juices were dripping from him. Jim knew that this was not a typical human male trait, but it was now normal for him. Sometimes he hated the changes the Teldorians made in him, but he could never hate his daughter or the child he was now carrying.

“Such a good slut, James,” Hohep said, as he continually pushed his member into Jim.

Jim had nowhere to go as his husband relieved his sexual pleasure by using him. It was not Jim’s right to orgasm unless his husband wished it.

“You are for my pleasure and mine alone, James. You will not release your pleasure, do you understand me, James?”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said, breathlessly.

“Oh, how I can tell that you wish you could but this,” Hohep panted, as he slapped Jim’s genitals, “is useless now,” he said as he came inside Jim. Hohep pulled out none too gently, and Jim was released.

“You did well tonight, James. I shall allow you to see your daughter for a time tomorrow. Now, hands and knees, James.”

Jim knew what that meant; his husband gave him a nightly spanking to keep him from misbehaving. Jim understood his husband’s need to prevent Jim from deviating from proper behavior. The first slap was sharp and stung, his husband always gave him ten.

“Count, James.”

“One… two… three…,” the area right below his bottom was slapped hard on the next three hits, “four… five… six.” Hohep’s next hits were with the paddle and were always the hardest as the paddle had holes in it to prevent resistance, “seven… eight… nine… ten,” Jim said as the last strike hit him.

“I wish to examine you, James.”

Jim climbed off the bed and followed his husband into the medical exam room. Laying on the exam room table, his legs were placed in stirrups, and his wrists were strapped down. He was immobilized and waited for the exam to begin. Hohep ran his hands up Jim’s inner thigh towards his bottom and played with his hole for several minutes.

“That feels good, doesn’t it, James?” he purred.

Jim could not respond beyond a blink. Hohep stopped playing with him and moved onto Jim’s belly; he caressed it and said, “you shall be a strong heir, my son.” He moved onto Jim’s genitals and played with them, enjoying the hitches in Jim’s breathing.

“I know you wish that this would work, James but it never will. You are nothing but a bearer, a slut, and a whore. Your breasts are returning; they will feed my son, well.” Hohep played with Jim’s breasts for a bit longer but tired quickly. He moved his hand back down and played again with his hole, bringing Jim to the brink just to stop.

“Such a good little slut, James. My bearer… did you know that my father wanted you for himself… yes, I know he told you that when you were just a child, but he was planning on killing me and taking you… I killed him first. Once this child is born and you have recovered, I shall begin again. I wish to have many strapping sons, and you shall provide them, slut. I wish to take you again, slut, and then I shall retire.” Hohep did not release Jim from the bed but instead just pushed into him with his cock. The exam bed served a dual purpose, he could have the scanners check on the health of his bearer and child and fuck him after. He enjoyed how tight and slick James was as he pushed into him repeatedly. James was panting and shaking as his sensitive spot inside was hit on every pass.

“You like this, don’t you, James. You like being my slut, my whore… you are nothing, James. What are you… fuck… James, tell me.”

“I am nothing but your slut, your whore, your bitch… I am only for producing children and for your sexual release, my husband,” Jim said as his husband came again.

Hohep pulled out and grabbed Jim’s genitals roughly and pulling on them hard, making Jim wince. “You shall never know what pleasure it is to fuck something, James. You should be grateful that I enjoy looking at them or I would have cut them off when we married. Clean up and sleep bitch,” Hohep said as he released Jim and left him alone.

Jim slowly moved off the bed and went to his bathroom to clean himself; his husband would not sleep in the same room with Jim. Once Jim was clean he climbed into his bed, naked, and allowed sleep to take him.

******

“Mama,” Jim heard.

“Baby, come here,” Jim said to his daughter as she was lead into the room by his husband. “You are most gracious, my husband.”

“Yes, I am, James. You may see her for several hours, slut. Be ready for another banquet this evening, bitch.”

“Yes, my husband. You are most gracious, my husband.”

“What are you, James?”

“I am a slut, a whore, a bitch; I am nothing but your bearer, my husband. I am most lucky that you have allowed me to give you an heir; a son.”

“Yes, you are James. If you are good again, you shall have time with her again tomorrow.”

“Yes, my husband. You are most gracious and wise.”

Hohep left, leaving Jim with Sarah. Jim was glad Sarah was only two, and he hoped that she would never understand what Hohep was saying. Jim knew what his husband said was true, but he did not want his daughter to think poorly of him.

“We have several hours together today, Sarah. What do you wish to do?”

“Read, Mama,” she said, smiling.

“Of course. Go sit on the lounger while I find some books to read,” Jim said.

His daughter did as she was told and Jim went to his extensive book collection; he was well versed in the language of his husband’s people and could read not only the modern language but also the older dialects. Jim found an older text that was like Earth fairy tales. He pulled it off the shelf and went to sit next to Sarah. They read for over an hour, but Sarah became restless and wished to play with the building block toys that Jim had in his room. They played with them for several more hours until Hohep returned with a guard.

“Sarah, baby, you must return to your rooms, now. I love you, baby,” Jim whispered as he hugged his little girl.

“You shall see your mother tomorrow, child,” Hohep said, “go with the guard.”

Sarah went without protest, and Jim said, “most gracious husband, how may I show my appreciation for the gift you have given me?”

Hohep smirked, “strip… hands and knees, James.”

Jim did as he was told and felt the bed dip as Hohep climbed on. A finger was pushed into his passage as he heard his husband’s clothing rustle. The finger was removed, and his husband’s hard member was pushed into him.

Hohep groaned, “such a good fuck. So, tight… so slick… juicy.” He fucked James hard and fast enjoying the grunts that he made. Jim shook as his husband hit his spot inside and made him come, tighten his muscles and pulling the orgasm from Hohep. Hohep panted as he pulled out, “ready yourself, slut. We have guests, again. If you behave, I shall allow you to see your daughter again.”

“Yes, my husband.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. 
> 
> ***Warning***  
> This is probably the harshest chapter I have written in this story so far.

It was the third day of the negotiations between the Teldorian’s and the crew of the Enterprise. Jim was sitting in his rooms reading Teldorian texts on poetry when there was a knock on his door. He sighed, it wasn’t time for the banquet, so it must be important. It was not his husband either as he did not have to knock on Jim’s door. Jim rose from his seat and opened his door to find his most trusted guard, Monep, “am I needed?”

“Yes, High Bearer. The High Prince wishes to see you in his study.”

Jim didn’t respond, he just left his rooms with Monep on his heels and traversed the palace towards his husband’s study. His husband's guard opened the door, and Jim entered. He waited for an acknowledgment before approaching the desk where his husband sat.

“James, come, I want your mouth. These Federation people are tiresome.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as he approached his husband’s desk. He kneeled in front of his husband; he moved the robe Hohep wore to the side and exposed his member, Jim didn't hesitate to swallow the engorged cock whole. Jim worked his husband’s member with his tongue and sucked hard several times, before bobbing his head on the hard phallus in his mouth. His husband thrust into Jim’s mouth, hard several times before he stopped Jim by pulling hard on his hair.

“Enough. Up and against the wall.”

Jim scrambled to obey; he placed his hands against the wall and bowed his head. His husband lifted his tunic, and his bare bottom was exposed; he felt his husband thrust into him, hard. He stifled the cry of pain into a whimper, as his husband thrust into him hard and fast, usually, his natural lubricant would begin, but his husband was in a punishing mood, and it still hurt even as it began to flow.

“Good whore… you like being used… hard and fast… so wet… like the whores, I visit in my brothels, James. Tighten it, James… good slut… perhaps… I… should… yes!” Hohep cried, as he poured into Jim. Jim was holding himself up, but barely. Hohep pulled out, and Jim stayed against the wall waiting for orders.

“Hands and knees, James. I did not give you your spanking last evening. If I do not do it now, you will become unruly.”

Jim flinched, he knew that meant he would receive harsher punishment; he knelt and placed his hands on the floor, keeping his tunic from covering his bottom.

“Perfect, James. Now, I think I should use the switch, and I shall make it twenty.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim whispered.

Hohep's smile was mean as he went to his cabinet and pulled a switch from it, as he returned to James’ side he said, “you know, James, I never did want you. Twenty with a switch… one… my father thought you would be a good match for me… two… my lover was willing to undergo the bearer process… three… but my father believed he would not make a good mate for me… four… five… six… slut… seven… bitch… whore… eight… when my son is born… nine… perhaps I should disavow you as an adulterer… ten,” Hohep bent and pulled James’ head up, roughly, forcing Jim to look him in the face, “and perhaps I will send you to the whorehouses of the south,” he said dropping Jim’s head, “eleven… where they do not hold… twelve… thirteen… bearers… fourteen… with respect or care… fifteen… sixteen… seventeen… eighteen… nineteen… twenty.” He returned the switch to the cabinet; without turning around, he said, “get out… get cleaned up and be ready for when I come for you, but do not use any healing cream on your lashes, James.”

Jim stood quickly and righted his tunic, “yes, my husband,” he said, as he left the room. He quickly walked towards his room with his ever-present guard and entered his room to tend to his cleaning needs. If his husband followed through with his threat Jim would never see his daughter again, nor would Jim see his son; he would be sent to the south and the slave whorehouses for use and disposal. He heard stories of them and their lack of care for their charges; he was shaking, his husband had threatened him before, and Jim did not know if this time he would follow through. Jim did not have many options as escape was almost impossible. He had tried to escape once before and suffered severe punishment for it. It was the main reason that he was still punished daily by his husband; if he were not, he would become unruly and try to escape again. Remembering the pain and humiliation was the only thing stopping him from trying again.

He had tried to escape towards the north in the hope that they would have accepted him to their tribes. The Northern Teldor Tribes were at war with the High Prince and wanted to over-through him. They were fighting campaigns against his husband, and Jim had thought they were close enough for him to find them; he had been wrong. He was captured shortly after he had escaped the Palace. He had been brought back by his husband and stripped naked in the central courtyard with all the ministers present. His husband had just become High Prince, and he was high on power; it was the only time Jim had been whipped. His husband usually used his hand, a paddle or a switch but that time he had used a leather whip. The silence collar had been placed around Jim’s neck, and all he could do was allow the tears to flow as the leather cut into his back. The process lasted for three days, and Jim was only given water during that time. After three days, he was released from the courtyard but not allowed to return to his room. His husband kept him by his side for over two months. He was punished daily and not allowed to speak for two months. He slept on the floor in husband's bedchamber and was only allowed on the bed when his husband wished to use him. It was during his two-month punishment that Jim became pregnant with his daughter; his husband had been most gracious in not punishing him further for producing a female child. After her birth, Jim was allowed to care for her until she was able to eat solid foods. She was then taken away and care for by the small female population kept in the palace as servants. His daughter had already begun her training to join the servant ranks, and when she was of age, she would be sold to a wealthy family for use in keeping a large property running.

Females were useless to the Teldor people as all of them were born sterile that was why they had bearers. The tradition dated back to the time when a plague had swept the planet leaving all the females barren. The people of Teldor were advanced in genetics and could not find a solution to the fertility problem among the female population, so they moved on to create the bearer gender. The scientist altered a group of willing males that would become the first generation of bearers, but the process did not naturally produce the second generation. When it was discovered that the chances of a naturally produced bearer were one in every five-thousand born, the Teldor government moved to pass laws that would strip away rights that bearers had. Those chosen to become a bearer were taken from their families while still young. The genetic therapy would alter their fundamental DNA; the new bearer would be less likely to become ill, they healed faster, and miscarriages were almost unheard of, but it did not alter their brain activity or thought process. When the bearers decided to fight back against the process and the forced submission the learning devices were developed. The learning devices altered the mind and brain waves of each bearer with the aid of the drugs in their collars. Jim had learned this because the drugs were not entirely effective with him; they worked but only if they were used continuously. He could sometimes break free of them and think clearly, but when he did, he was ashamed of what he had become and what he had been forced to do. He was distracted by his thoughts and did not hear the soft steps of his guard behind him.

“Bearer, are you well?”

“Yes, Monep, your graciousness is most accepted. I shall be fine; please return to your post.”

“Very well, Bearer,” Monep replied leaving Jim to ready himself for the evening.

Jim could feel his mind become sluggish as his dose of drugs was increased by the collar he wore. He shook his head and realized that Hohep had threatened him with the whorehouse to the south because Jim had been bad. Yes, he only did this when Jim needed reminding that he was nothing but a vessel for Hohep to deposit his seed into; the mentioning of his lover was a part of this as well. It was just his husband reminding him of his place in society. He was the property of his husband, and his husband could do with him as he pleased; it was Jim’s place in life to be the bearer to his husband. His husband’s behavior was likely due to stress and not a real threat, Jim reminded himself. Hohep had said similar things before; he would be fine if he just behaved and did as his husband instructed. He took a deep breath and went to ready himself for the evening.

******

Nyota was listening to Commander Spock reporting on the ship’s business during the staff meeting. She did not want to return to Teldor, but she didn’t think the captain would accept that she was creeped out by them as an excuse for not fulfilling her duty. She thought about James, and that something was just a bit off about the situation down on the surface, but she wasn’t sure as to what it was. She knew the young man was different than all the other Teldorians she had met; she was drawn from her thoughts by the Captain.

“Uhura, report on what you learned on the planet.”

“Yes, sir. I meet the High Prince’s mate, James.”

“James? That doesn’t sound much like their names,” McCoy said.

“Yeah, I thought that too. I… sir, he is nothing like the other Teldorians.”

“How so, Lieutenant?” Spock asked.

“Well, for one he is much smaller than the others, sir. I asked James some questions, and he gave me some of the strangest answers. When I made the mistake of saying he was the High Prince’s husband, he informed me that he was the High Prince’s mate and bearer, not his husband.”

“Perhaps it would be analogous to ‘wife’ in their society, Lieutenant?” Spock asked.

“Perhaps; he said women are rare on the planet. I asked if that meant they were prized and kept away from the rest of society, but he said no. He said they had many duties that kept them busy. I… they creep me out, sir. Sorry, I know that is not very professional, but something is off about them. Also, how did someone from their planet end up with such a human-sounding name?”

“They ‘creep’ me out as well, Lieutenant,” Pike said, “but unfortunately, we have been ordered to see if a treaty is viable. With the near destruction of both our fleet and Vulcan’s, by Nero, we need allies, even if we don’t like them."

“Really?” Nyota asked.

“Yes. This James… what else can you tell us about him?”

“He kept calling me most honored guest and told me it wasn’t appropriate for him to call me anything else. No, that wasn’t right… he said for someone of his status… but it felt like he was lesser than me… but he’s the Royal’s mate… I figured he would be… I don’t know… above me?”

“What else,” the captain demanded.

“He seemed submissive; I think that is the right word. I… he has blue eyes, sir. I know that is not a trait for the Teldorians.”

“No, it isn’t,” McCoy said, “at least from what our original reports on these people said.”

“I would like to meet this James,” Pike said.

“Captain, I should remind you that the Federation believes this is an important treaty,” Spock said.

“I know, Commander, but I also think that they would not wish us to agree to a treaty with a planet that mistreats their citizens or at least I won’t agree to one. Just might need to make sure the deal falls through,” Pike said, smirking.

“Of course, Captain.”

“We should get going. McCoy, I want you with us.”

“Yes, sir.”

******

Jim entered the hall on the arm of his husband and was escorted to his seat at the table. He sat, trying not to wince at the pain radiating from his bottom from the switching he experienced earlier. Hohep whispered in his ear, “eat, James.”

“Yes, my husband.”

At least Hohep had never starved him other than during punishment; Jim ate what was placed on his plate in silence until the Lieutenant sat next to him again.

“Hello… I do not wish to offend you but what would be the proper address?”

“High Bearer, most honored guest.”

“That is a mouthful, well… High Bearer, I would like to introduce Doctor Leonard McCoy. He is the ship's chief medical officer.”

Jim glanced at the man who was scowling at him, “greetings, most honored guest.”

“Nice to meet you,” McCoy said.

Jim continued to eat and wait for the questioning to begin. He didn’t shift in his seat, but his bottom was radiating pain, and Jim knew from experience that his husband would wish to release his pleasure in him again. He would need his strength for the evening to come.

“The embroidery on your shirt is quite beautiful. Does it mean anything?” Nyota asked.

“Your graciousness is most accepted, most honored guest. Yes, most honored guest.”

“Well, what does it mean?” McCoy asked annoyed.

Jim hesitated, “it explains my status as High Bearer to High Prince Hohep, most honored guest,” not mentioning his property status.

“Um… what is a High Bearer?” Nyota asked.

“A bearer brings life to the planet and people, most honored guest,” Jim said.

“Well, that explains everything,” McCoy grumbled.

“Leonard,” Nyota chastised, “he didn’t mean anything by that, High Bearer.”

“No offense was taken, most honored guest. I am not allowed to take offense, most honored guest.”

“Okay… um… what can you tell us about Teldorian society?”

“What do you wish to know, most honored guest?”

That made McCoy’s eyebrows look like Spock’s for a moment, “are there a lot of bearers on Teldor?”

“No, most honored guest. We are rare and prized, most honored guest.”

“I thought you said that women are rare?”

“The female gender is rare, most honored guest.”

“If females are rare, why are they not prized?” Nyota asked.

“They cannot bring life to the planet, most honored guest.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised.

“How do marriages work?” McCoy wondered.

“A Teldorian male must petition for a bearer, most honored guest. If he is granted one; he is married to that bearer, and they will give life to the planet.”

“Aren’t you a male Teldorian?” Nyota asked, confused.

“No, most honored guest. My gender is bearer, most honored guest.”

“Your people have three genders?” McCoy asked.

The simple answer was probably the best, “yes, most honored guest.”

“James, have you eaten enough?” Hohep asked, from behind Jim’s chair.

“Yes, my husband. What do you wish from me, my husband?” Jim said not jumping at his husband’s sudden appearance.

“You are tired, James. Please return to your rooms and retire for the evening.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said, as he rose, “good evening, most honored guests.” Jim left the table and moved towards the doors of the hall; just as he was leaving, his husband’s voice stopped him, “James, I shall not be retiring with you this evening; I have state business to attend.”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Although, I shall attend you in the early morning.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said, as he left the hall. He understood the subtle hinting from his husband, he should sleep in his bed, but to expect his husband’s desire for release and to be ready for him. Jim entered his rooms and stripped his clothing off; he climbed into his bed and drifted to sleep.

******

Jim awoke on his side and Hohep behind him pushing into him. His husband was slow and placed his hand on Jim’s extended belly. The gentle rocking his husband made surprised Jim as Hohep was usually rougher when he was stressed.

“So good, James. You are so wet for me, slut,” Hohep said as he came.

“Are you pleased, my husband?”

“Yes, for now. Ready yourself for your day, James. I am allowing you to have your daughter again for a few hours, but I will wish to use you later.

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as he left the bed and went to wash. Just as he was leaving his bathroom, Sarah entered his room and ran to him.

“Mama,” she whispered, hugging him tightly.

“Hello, baby. Do you want me to read to you?”

“Yes, Mama. I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

Jim spent the next few hours taking care of his baby; he read and played with her. When she was sleepy, he cuddled her close and fell asleep with her in his arms. He awoke shortly before it was time for Sarah to return to her room.

He gently shook her awake, “baby.”

“Mama,” Sarah’s sleepy voice said.

“It is almost time to go, baby.”

“Don’t wanna, Mama.”

“I know baby, but I must attend the High Prince. Perhaps if we are good we shall see each other tomorrow,” Jim said.

“All right, Mama,” Sarah said as she slipped from the bed and headed towards the door, “I love you, Mama,” she said as she left the room.

“Love you, too, baby,” Jim said, wiping the tear from his eye.

******

Jim entered his husband’s study and found Johet, his husband's most trusted minister, in the room. Hohep had Johet bent over his desk and was buried deep in him. Jim knew his husband had lovers; however, he had never seen his husband with anyone else. It was his fault; he was not enough for his husband, and he was ashamed.

Hohep shuddered as he came in Johet and pulled out. He noticed his bearer had arrived, “James, good, you have arrived. We have much to discuss.”

Jim went to his husband’s side and waited for him to speak.

“Leave, Johet,” Hohep said, and the minister left the room. “The northern tribes have struck our water source, James. I shall need to travel to undo the damage. Unfortunately, our guests will need attending.”

“Yes, my husband. Shall I be attending you on your travels?” Jim asked. In the past, he had traveled with his husband while he was having issues with the northern tribes.

“Not this time, James. You shall stay here and attend to our guests and earn their trust. I do not believe they trust me, but they seem fascinated by you. We shall use that to our advantage.”

“Me, my husband? I am not worthy of such an honor, my husband.”

“That is true; however, I have little choice as I will need Johet with me. You are not capable of battle, James. All you shall do is escort them to the palace and answer their questions. You will not deviate from your instructions, James.”

“I am most honored, my husband. I shall not fail you, my husband.”

“No, I do not believe you will. Now, we have other business to attend to, James.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as he pulled his pants down and went to his hand and knees.

“Good, James. Now, you understand that I shall not be here to keep you in line, bitch. I am uncertain of when I shall return so that I will give you twenty now and ten for each day that I am away when I return. Do not forget your place, James.”

“Yes, my husband. I am yours to do with as you please.”

“Yes, you are,” Hohep said menacingly.

Jim waited for the first blow to hit him and knew it would be the switch again.

“One… two… three… worthless… four… five… six… slut… seven… eight… nine… bitch… ten… eleven… twelve… whore… thirteen… fourteen… fifteen… nothing but a hole… sixteen… seventeen… eighteen… bitch… nineteen… twenty.”

The switch dropped next to Jim, and he waited for his husband’s next order.

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

“I am yours to do with as you please, my husband.”

“Yes, you are. I am hard again; on your back, bitch.”

Jim rolled onto his back and spread his legs. Hohep moved between them and pushed into Jim without any foreplay. It hurt as he was entered and pounded into; the tears flowed from his eyes as he was brutally fucked.

“I love your pain, bitch,” Hohep moaned as he came.

Jim stayed where he was as his husband pulled out and stood; righting his clothes, Hohep smiled meanly at Jim, “I shall leave soon; our guests shall be returning tomorrow morning, follow my instructions, James.”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Go, I am busy,” Hohep dismissed him.

Jim rose and righted his clothing before leaving his husband’s study.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I do not agree with anything that is happening to Jim in this story and I do promise a happy ending for him and his kids.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

“James,” Hohep said.

Jim felt fingers brush his cheek gently. He opened his eyes to find his husband looking at him regretfully. Jim rolled onto his back and asked, “what do you wish, my husband?”

“To apologize, James. I have been stressed, and I allowed myself to take my anger out on you, my James.”

“That is my responsibility, my husband. I am your property, and you may do with me as you wish, my husband.”

“Yes, James but I should take better care of you. I have gifts for you, James.”

“Gifts, my husband,” James said, excitedly. His husband rarely gave him gifts, but when he did, they were usually nice.

“Yes, I have spoken to the guards, and your daughter shall stay with you while I am gone.”

Hugging Hohep “you are most gracious, my husband,” Jim said.

“I have more, James,” Hohep laughed.

“I do not need more, my husband.”

“You should still have it, James, here,” Hohep said as he handed him a slim black case.

Jim opened the case and found a beautiful new collar with Teldorian blue sapphires embedded in it with the old Teldorian script, “it is beautiful, my husband. It is much too nice for me. I am not precious, my husband.”

“It is only as beautiful as you, my James, and yes, you are precious to me,” Hohep said as he kissed Jim lightly.

“You are most gracious, my husband. Do you wish to use me before you leave, my husband?”

“Let us put the new collar on,” Hohep said as he reached around and touched the back of the current collar. The lock disengaged, and the collar slipped down to James’ lap; removing the new one Hohep carefully placed it around his neck and engaged the lock. “Perfect,” he said as he pulled James into a deep kiss. Jim opened his mouth as his husband demanded entry; he pushed Jim onto his back and hovered over him.

Jim spread his legs and felt the wetness leaking from him; his husband was rarely this gently with him. He wished his husband was gently like this all the time, well, that wasn’t precisely true he liked being rough sometimes.

“So wet, my James,” Hohep said as he pushed into Jim.

Jim moaned and said, “only for you, my husband.”

Hohep thrust his hips forward pushing further into James. He enjoyed the gentle lovemaking, but it was not his preferred form of sex. James was tight and wet; he felt him shudder through his first orgasm and planned on allowing his James several more.

“So good, James. You are always so tight for me, my James. Does this feel good? I wish to make you feel good, James.”

“Yes, my husband. Will you kiss me again, my husband?”

Hohep smiled at Jim as he devoured his mouth in a deep and passionate kiss bringing James to another orgasm.

Jim shuddered through his second orgasm and could already feel the next building. “I love you, my husband,” Jim shouted as he orgasmed for the third time.

“James,” Hohep moaned as he came.

Jim panted trying to catch his breath after the great bout of lovemaking. Hohep carefully pulled out of him and rolled to the side taking Jim with him.

“Do you love me, James?”

“Yes, my husband. I…,” Jim said, earnestly.

“You may speak freely, James, I shall not punish you.”

“I wish you would be gentle more often, my husband. That is not to say that I do not like all that we do; however, I enjoyed this morning greatly, my husband.”

“Ah, James, this was nice. I should treat you better; I do care a great deal for you, my James.”

Jim was comforted by Hohep’s words and enjoyed the comfort of being in his husband’s strong arms. His husband could be gentle and sweet to him, especially after he had been extremely harsh. Jim knew it was only the stress of his work; Hohep always took good care of him. He knew that Hohep would leave soon for his journey, but they still had business to take care of, “do you wish to spank me this morning, my husband?”

“No, but I believe I must. We would not want you to become too complacent, James. Hands and knees and I will be using the paddle today.”

Jim readily complied and waited for the first strike and Hohep’s usual words.

“Ten only today… one… two… three… four… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten. When I return, I shall give you ten extra for each day I am away, James.”

“Yes, my husband. You are most gracious, my husband,” Jim said as he stood and threw his arms around Hohep.

Hohep smiled and kissed James again; it was rare that they enjoyed such intimacy and if he was honest it was indeed his fault.

“I must go but your daughter shall be here to keep you company, and you have work to convince the Federation people to trust us, James.”

“Yes, my husband. You are most generous to allow me this responsibility; I shall not shame you.”

“I must leave now, James. Be good.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as Hohep left the room.

 

“Mama,” Sarah said as she entered the room.

“Baby, come here; I’ve missed you.” Sarah sat next to Jim on the couch, and he pulled her to him, “I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, Mama.”

They sat in silence for a moment until Jim said, “you will be spending several days with me here, baby.”

“Yes, Mama. The High Prince told me.”

“You were polite to the High Prince? You must always be deferential to him, baby.”

“Yes, Mama always.”

“Good, would you like to tour the gardens with me today?”

“Yes.”

“You must behave, I have guests that I must attend.”

“Yes, Mama.”

Jim stood, and his daughter placed her hand in his; they left the room and headed towards the garden where his guests were to arrive. His guards were trailing him and Sarah as they entered the yard and waited for the Enterprise crew to arrive.

The hum of transporter alerted Jim to their arrival, and it startled his daughter. “Sarah it is all right. Stay calm, please.”

“Yes, Mama.”

The crew materialized, and Nyota stepped forward, “High Bearer it is most pleasant to see you. This is my captain, Christopher Pike,” she said pointing to the man next to her.

“High Bearer,” Pike said, dipping his head in respect.

“Greetings, most honored guests. My husband, the High Prince, was called away on urgent internal business, I shall be responsible for entertaining you while we await his return.”

“How long will he be gone?” Pike asked.

“Perhaps a week. Would you wish for a tour of the gardens, honored guests?”

“That would be nice,” Pike said. The High Bearer motioned them to follow him and guided them onto a path into the gardens. The kid looked familiar to Pike; he looked like George Kirk, but Sam Kirk was on earth, and Jim had died on Tarsus IV.

“If you wish you may scan our foliage; it is most hardy. This plant here,” Jim said as he pointed to a bush with bright purple leaves, “is quite useful in healing many wounds and preventing scarring.”

“That is kind of you, High Bearer. Perhaps you can answer some questions?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“Your name?”

“My name, Captain?”

“Yes, we all have names. My title is Captain, but my name is Christopher Pike.”

“Only my husband can call me by my name. To all others, I am High Bearer.”

“Oh, forgive me if I caused any offense,” Pike said.

“No offense was taken, Captain. Perhaps this plant will interest Doctor McCoy; it is quite effective in reducing fevers,” Jim said.

“Really. You sure know a lot about plants and medicinal uses,” McCoy said.

“Yes, Doctor. It is one of my duties to my husband. If Commander Spock wishes he may scan the plants,” Jim offered again, pointing towards Spock’s tricorder.

“Thank you,” Spock answered. He stepped closer to the bush the young man had pointed to and began to scan it; he took longer than needed because he decided to scan the High Bearer surreptitiously.   “Doctor McCoy you might find the readings on this plant fascinating.”

“Send the scans to my padd when we get back to the ship, and I’ll look it over,” McCoy said.

“Of course, Doctor.”

They spent an hour walking and scanning the garden while the High Bearer would offer useful knowledge of different plants and flowers in the garden. Finally, the High Bearer lead them towards the meeting room inside the Palace.

“Please sit, honored guests. Do you wish for refreshments?” Jim said pointing towards the array of food and drinks on the sideboard in the room.

“Yes, thank you, High Bearer,” Pike said.

“Do you have more questions for me?” Jim asked as he went to the sideboard to retrieve plates of food for his guests.

“Yes, I’m curious as to what a High Bearer is?”

“A bearer gives life to the planet, Captain. I am called High Bearer because I am the mate of the High Prince,” Jim said as he returned to the Captain with a plate of food.

“Thank you, High Bearer,” Pike said, “so what would you be called if you were not married to the High Prince?”

“Bearer, Captain,” Jim said as he handed more food to the away team.

The group ate in silence until they finished their food; Pike asked, “are bearers common?”

“We are as common as necessary, Captain. My gender is special, Captain.”

“So, you are a separate gender?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“How did your people come to have three genders?” McCoy asked.

“Evolution, Doctor,” Jim said, it wasn’t entirely accurate, but it was close enough.

“Would it be possible for us to meet more bearers?” Pike asked.

“I do not believe their mates would approve, Captain.”

“I see, well, thank you for your hospitality, High Bearer. We will return when the High Prince is available.”

“Of course, Captain,” Jim said as he showed his guests back to the garden.

******

Spock entered his lab and downloaded the data he had taken while on the planet. The young man they had met with had intrigued Spock, and he was curious as to what his scans of him would find. He first ran them through the database looking for any similarities to any other humanoid species; setting the computer to alert him via message if anything was found he left the lab and went to find Nyota for dinner.

******

Three days later Spock entered sickbay in search of Doctor McCoy. He found the man in question in his office; he handed him the padd with the results of his scans of the High Bearer.

“What’s this?” McCoy asked.

“While on the planet I scanned the High Bearer, you will find the results of my scans on that padd.”

“Commander you can’t just scan people without their consent,” McCoy said as he looked at the information on the device. He skimmed the results until he found what he was looking for and his eyes widened in realization, “are these right?”

“Yes, Doctor, I ran them three times to be certain. He is human but genetically modified.”

“How the hell did this kid end up on that planet if he is human… we just met these people recently.”

“I am aware of this Doctor. I need your assistance in narrowing down who he might be.”

“You need my assistance?”

“Yes, Doctor, as you are aware, I do not have access to the DNA database for Federation citizens. I believe we should cross-reference his profile with that of Federation citizens that have gone missing.”

“Good idea,” McCoy said, and he used his access code to enter the database, “let’s see… narrow the search to males between fifteen and twenty-five… did not live on Earth… blue eyes… that should… ah, add in those thought to be dead… no that would take too long… if we don’t get a hit on one of the other categories, I will expand it.”

“Please have the computer notify both of us when it has found something, Doctor.”

“Yep, done… probably will take some time, Commander.”

“I understand, thank you for your assistance Doctor.”

Spock left sickbay and headed to his quarters; Nyota was sitting on his small couch when he entered his room, and he greeted her, “Nyota.”

“Spock… did you finish your business with Leonard?”

“Yes, Doctor McCoy was most helpful. Do you wish to stay here this evening?”

Nyota rose from her seat and put her arms around Spock’s neck kissing him before she answered, “what do you think?”

Spock didn’t say anything he just picked her up and carried her to his bed.

******

Spock was meditating as his lover was sleeping; he did not need as much sleep as humans, and after he had worn Nyota out he decided that he should meditate. He was in a light trance when he heard the beeping of his padd; he had a new message notification. Deciding to ignore the message until he was finished he continued to focus on controlling his emotional responses to his feelings. Many believed that Vulcans were emotionless robots, but the truth was that their emotions ran deep and could be violent if not always under controlled.

When he finished his meditation, he rose from his spot on the floor and went to his desk; sitting at the desk, he opened his message program and was surprised to find that the search Doctor McCoy started had found a match. Opening the message, he was further surprised by the results and immediately dressed and went in search of the good doctor.

******

McCoy grumbled as he rolled out of bed at the sound of his door chime; it was late, and he had just fallen asleep only two hours ago.

“This better be good,” he said grumbling as the door slid open.

“Forgive me Doctor but we have a result from our search, and it is most surprising.”

“You are admitting to something surprising you… it must be good. Come in,” McCoy said as he let the Vulcan into his room.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock said ignoring McCoy’s comments.

“So, what did we find?”

“He has relatives on Earth; Winona and Samuel Kirk.”

“George Kirk’s family?”

“Yes.”

“Who the hell is he?”

“I believe he is James Kirk.”

“Didn’t he die on Tarsus IV in some accident?”

“That is what I read, but I believe we should run my scans against James T. Kirk’s profile.”

“Yeah, all right give me a minute,” McCoy said as he sat at his desk and opened the program to run the results. “It shouldn’t take as long since we are only running it against one sample,” he said right before his padd pinged. “Well, I’ll be damned… it is him, but I don’t understand how that kid got to this planet. He died, what, almost ten years ago?”

“Nine point six years to be precise.”

“Fine, fine… now, what are we going to do?”

“I believe the wise course of action would be to inform Captain Pike.”

“Lead the way,” McCoy said as he gestured for Spock to exit the room.

******

“This can’t be right,” Pike said.

“It is correct, Captain,” Spock replied.

“How the hell did he end up here?”

“I do not know that sir; however, perhaps we should contact Starfleet Command regarding the situation.”

“Yeah… his mother is… I have no idea what his mother is going to do, but I do know that his brother and grandparents will be ecstatic.”

******

“Captain Pike, this is a surprise,” Admiral Archer said.

“Yes, sir. I have news regarding the Teldorians, sir.”

“Cut the crap, Chris, just spill; I’m an old man and don’t have time for hemming and hawing.”

“Of course, sir. We found a young man on the planet and… fuck… it’s James T. Kirk, sir, George Kirk’s dead son.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it either, but it is real.”

“Fuck, did he tell you how he got there?”

“No, sir. We just confirmed it, and well, there is a complication to the situation.”

“Isn’t there always.”

“Yes, sir,” Pike chuckled, “he happens to be married to the High Prince, and I’m not sure if he remembers being human. His genetics have been altered, and McCoy would need better scanners to figure out just what was done to him.”

“This gets better and better. Find out what you can and if the kid wants to be rescued screw the treaty and the Prime Directive and get him off that planet.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Hohep comes off nice in this chapter but he really isn't. He is not only physically abusive but emotionally abusive too. He oscillates between being overly cruel to Jim to being overly nice to him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> This is the worst chapter. Sorry for the delay in posting it.

Over a week had gone by, and Jim had not heard from his husband. The crew of the Enterprise had not returned to visit. Jim hoped that he had not made a bad impression. Jim and Sarah were drifting off to sleep when a loud crash startled them out of their drowsiness. Jim pulled Sarah close to him and waited in silence for an attack. The door opened, and Johet entered surprising Jim out of his paralysis.

“What may I do for you, Minister Johet?” Jim asked.

“Come, High Bearer, you are needed and bring the child,” Johet said and left the room.

Jim grabbed Sarah’s hand and quickly followed Johet out of the room and towards his husband’s bedchamber. Fear crept into Jim; he was never called to his husband’s rooms unless it was an emergency. The last time Jim had been invited to his husband's rooms his husband had nearly died. Jim entered behind Johet and saw Hohep pale and shaking in his bed. Jim rushed to his side and knelt by his bed.

“What may I do to help, my husband?” Jim said keeping his voice from trembling.

“You will nurse him as is your duty, High Bearer,” Johet said.

“Of course, Minister Johet,” Jim said as he rose from his knees. It was Jim's duty to care for his husband and he was insulted that the minister would think he could ignore his task. Jim took Sarah’s hand and pulled her towards the bathroom and found clean towels and a basin to hold water. Handing the towels to his daughter he filled the basin and returned to his husband’s side. Kneeling gracefully next to the bed again and placing the basin on the floor he took a towel from Sarah and dampened it to wipe his husband’s brow. His husband was running a fever already, and Jim bit his lip as he thought, “Sarah come here.”

His daughter moved closer to him and looked at him, “yes, Mama?”

“Please keep a cool cloth on the High Prince at all times. I must return to my room and collect my supplies to tend to my husband’s wounds.”

“Yes, Mama,” Sarah said in her small voice.

Jim rose from his knees and quickly left the room to return to his room and collect his medical supplies. One of the skills that Jim learned during his training was tending wounds and illnesses. His duty was to care for his husband and his husband’s children during all illnesses and injuries. If the wound or disease were too severe, a healer would be called, but until it was too much for Jim to handle he was required to attend to his husband.   Jim found his case that held his supplies and quickly returned to the room with his husband.

He opened his case and found the medication that would help to reduce his fever; he turned to his husband and helped prop him up so that he could pour it into his mouth.

“Please take this my husband it shall help lower your fever.”

Hohep took it without complaint, Jim lowered him back down and pulled the sheet from his husband’s body to find where he was wounded. Finding one wound in his side and another in his left leg, Jim said, “Sarah, please bring me another clean towel.”

“Yes, Mama,” Sarah said as she soaked a clean towel and handed it to her mother.

Jim took the towel and cleaned each wound carefully and then he found his remedy for infections and applied it, carefully bandaging the wounds after he was done. None of his wounds were too deep to need surgery, and Jim hoped that keeping them clean and treated would prevent the spread of infection. He returned to his husband’s head and began to apply cool compresses to him. Jim spent the night kneeling next to his husband’s bed and caring for him. Sarah fell asleep near him and would rouse when Jim requested her services; their primary duty was to ensure the survival of the High Prince.

******

The sun shone through the window as his husband finally spoke, “James?”

“Yes, my husband, do you wish for water?”

“Yes,” Hohep said with a raspy voice.

Jim rose and retrieved a glass filled with cold water; helping Hohep sit so he could sip from the glass Jim sat near him. “You should rest more, my husband.”

“You are right, James,” Hohep said as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Hohep’s fever finally broke late into the next evening, and Jim felt safe to leave his side to return to his room for more supplies. He took Sarah with him and gave her a quick bath before they returned to the High Prince’s side. Hohep was awake when he returned, “my husband, do you wish for food?”

“No, come here James.”

Jim went obediently and knelt next to his husband’s side.

“You are a good mate, James. I should treat you better; I wish for you to know that I have secured your future if I were to expire.”

“My husband?” Jim asked, his voice rising in panic.

“Do not stress, James, I shall be myself by tomorrow, and in a few days, I shall give you your regular punishment,” he said as he ran a finger down Jim’s cheek.

“I am certain that I shall deserve it, my husband.”

“Yes, I’m sure you shall but until then join me in bed.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as he carefully removed his clothes and slipped in next to Hohep. Sarah was asleep on a pile of bedding near the bed. Hohep’s hand reached around and pulled Jim back against him as the hand slid to cover Jim’s ever-expanding belly.

“Sleep, James; I shall have you when I am better,” Hohep said as his warm hand splayed across Jim’s belly like a gentle caress.

******

Jim awoke believing his husband would wish to use him, but instead of a warm body holding him he felt cold. He touched the hand that had been caressing his belly and found it colder than it should be. Panic took hold of him, Jim moved from his position and looked at his husband to find him staring at him with cold, lifeless eyes.

Jim felt for a pulse he knew he would not find and laid his head down on the bed next to his husband’s hand and wept. Jim wept for nearly an hour before he rose from his place next to the bed and went to find his husband’s minister, Johet.

******

Jim found himself on his knees in front of Minister Johet; being a Bearer gave Jim little in the way of protection once his husband was dead. Johet, who had declared himself the new High Prince, could do what he pleased with Jim and his daughter; they would probably be sent to the south and the whore houses that were frequented by the miners. As a Bearer, Jim had little defense and would be used, and any children he produced would be either forced to become Bearers or whores.

“You and that bastard child shall be sent to the south tomorrow. I would remove your collar, but that cannot be done as it was keyed to your husband and could only be removed while he lived; it shall serve as a reminder of your failure, whore,” Johet sneered.

“Yes, High Prince,” Jim whispered.

“Strip and place yourself against the wall, I believe that you are owed punishment that your husband was not able to carry out.”

“Yes, High Prince,” Jim whispered as he stood and removed his clothing and stood with his hands braced against the wall as directed.

“Brace yourself, Bearer, I shall not be as gentle or kind as that weak husband of yours,” he sneered at Jim as the first strike with the strap fell on Jim's back.

Jim knew his husband had been assassinated and a Johet was behind it. Hohep’s father had taken power from the previous High Prince by assassination and Hohep had done the same. Jim’s only protection had been Hohep and whatever steps his husband had taken for his protection and care did not seem to be enough. The strikes fell hard and fast, and Jim allowed the tears to flow as he heard Sarah whimper in the corner of the room grateful that she would not cry out for him or try to protect him.

******

“Ready?” Pike asked his away team.

“Yes, sir,” was the response.

Pike, Spock, Nyota, McCoy, and a security team were beaming down to the planet; they had been notified that the High Prince had returned. Pike wanted to find out if Jim Kirk wished to leave with them or if he wished to stay. Pike wasn’t sure how everything was going to go, but he wanted to get the kid off the planet and have an honest conversation with him without his husband’s influence. The group of six beamed down into the garden courtyard and found it empty; however, they heard voices coming from the interior of the building. Following the sounds, they stopped by the display in front of them. Jim Kirk was naked and being whipped by Minister Johet.

The minister was counting out the strikes, “twenty… twenty-one… did you think I would stop at twenty, whore? Twenty-two… twenty-three… I will stop at thirty, bitch… twenty-four… twenty-five… that is what you deserve… twenty-six… twenty-seven… and when I am done with you, slut, I shall give your bastard child fifteen… twenty-eight… twenty-nine… or would you prefer that I give you fifteen more, instead… thirty… well, bitch?”

“Please, High Prince I shall take fifteen more,” Jim begged.

“Perhaps I should use you first; are you wet, James?”

“Yes, High Prince,” Jim wasn’t, but he could become wet quickly if it were required.

“How should I take you… on your hands and knees… or on your back with your legs spread like the good whore you are?”

“However, you wish me, High Prince. I am yours to do with as you please.”

“Yes, I could sell you to the highest bidder instead of the whore houses. Would you like that, James? Would you like a new husband?”

“Whatever you wish, my High Prince, I shall obey,” Jim said.

“Yes, you shall,” Johet said as he shoved two fingers into Jim. “You are wet for me, James; such a good little slut. I always wanted to see what was so special about you, but your husband was opposed to anyone touching you, bitch,” he said turning around and shoved Jim against the wall. He kissed Jim hard before pulling back and using his fingers to fuck Jim repeatedly.  

“Yes, my High Prince. I am ready for you. Do what you wish, I shall obey.”

“Hands and knees, James; I shall use you now and then I shall finish your punishment,” Johet purred.

“No!” Spock nearly shouted, shocking everyone in his group.

Johet turned and faced the Federation group, “he is my property, I shall do what I please with him unless you wish to purchase him. His husband, the High Prince, is dead; I am the new leader.”

“Price?” Spock asked.

“We do not use Federation credits here, Vulcan.”

“I have access to other monetary means,” Spock said.

“Precious stones?”

“Yes. Price?”

“Bring what you have, and we shall discuss it, Vulcan.”

“I wish the child also,” Spock said.

“Very well,” Johet said turning back to face Jim, “fifteen more, James.”

“Yes, High Prince,” Jim said and turned to face the wall.

“I wish him and the child unharmed and unsullied,” Spock said in the hope that Johet would leave James Kirk alone. Before Spock thought, he was asking to be beamed aboard the ship, and he was heading to his quarters. The Vulcan retrieved his small chest of Vulcan stones and gems, a collection he had since he was a child. Nothing in the chest was precious, but he illogically hoped that something would be of value to the new High Prince; returning to the transporter room, he found Pike there pacing the room.

“What the hell are you doing, Commander?”

“Retrieving James Kirk, Captain.”

“By buying him?” Pike said in disbelief.

“Would you prefer that we start a war with Teldor?”

Pike flinched, “no, but what if he doesn’t accept your offer?”

“Then we shall start a war, sir.”

Spock was back on the planet before Pike could answer him. He returned to the location where James was and heard Johet say, “fifteen, kneel at my feet, James. You have returned,” he said to Spock.

“Yes.”

“Make your offer.”

Spock walked to the desk that was in the room and placed the small chest on it; opening it, he removed five of his highest quality stones and placed them down on the desk for Johet’s inspection.

Johet picked one up and inspected it; finding it pleasing, he knew that it would raise his status among those still loyal to Hohep; Teldorians like unique and rare items; it was the reason that Hohep prized James. The stones could be used in a crown and would show his strength and power, yes, these would do nicely as payment for James and the bastard child. Removing James from the planet would also help with those who were loyal to Hohep. They would not be able to take the child after he was born and install him as the new High Prince.

“James, kneel at your new husband’s feet; call the bastard child to do the same.”

“Yes, High Prince,” Jim said and called for Sarah to approach the Vulcan Commander with him. He knelt in front of his new husband and said, “we are yours to do with as you please, my husband. I am James, your bearer. This is Sarah, my daughter; we shall serve you, my husband.”

Spock stared at the young man kneeling in front of him and hid his shock at the words. He did not plan on keeping James and Sarah but freeing them once they were aboard the ship, “I am Spock. Come, James, please gather your belongings, and we shall leave.”

“All that I have is what I wear, my husband. I am ready to obey, my husband.”

“Please dress and follow,” Spock said as James rose from his knees and quickly dressed. He grabbed his daughter’s hand and walked with his head down and followed behind the Enterprise Crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't post this today as it is Thanksgiving (in the U.S.) but I probably won't get around to posting anything again for a few days. It is not a very happy chapter but I do plan on having a happy ending. Several readers have asked questions and I plan on answering them as the story progresses. Please feel free to ask questions about the story and the Teldor society; I may not answer right away but as Jim recovers he will face many challenges and questions will be asked about his experience and he will answer them to the best of his ability.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

Jim hadn’t been aboard a starship for nine years, and the feeling of the transporter beaming him up was startling. Sarah held too tightly to Jim’s hand as they materialized on the transporter platform. Jim held her close and waited for instructions, but when Doctor McCoy reached for his arm, Jim recoiled back out of his reach.

“Calm down kid, I’m not going to hurt you,” McCoy said smiling at Jim, “I just wanted to direct you to sickbay for a checkup and to treat your wounds.”

“I am not to allow anyone to touch me but my husband and children, most honorable Doctor,” Jim said. He hoped that he wouldn’t be punished by his new husband for speaking out of turn.

McCoy sighed, “well, that might be the case, but I still need to make sure you are healthy and not carrying any illnesses.”

“If my husband wishes it, I shall obey,” Jim said glancing towards Spock but keeping his eyes still lowered.

Spock was startled by James’ statement, “James, I am not your husband. I purchased your freedom to avoid conflict and because you do not belong on that planet.”

“Who am I to attend then, most honorable husband?” Jim asked.

Deciding that arguing with James at that moment would be unproductive, Spock said, “James… allow Doctor McCoy to perform a medical exam on you and your daughter.”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said as he followed the doctor off the transporter pad and out of the room.

“Spock?” Nyota asked.

“I did not intend to purchase him for my mate; I shall explain the situation once we have Doctor McCoy’s report on his physical and mental health.”

“Okay,” she said giving him a tentative smile.

******

Jim followed Doctor McCoy through the ship ignoring the looks he received from the ship’s crew as they passed. Sarah’s grip on Jim’s hand was painful, but he wasn’t going to admonish her. He knew she was terrified. They entered sickbay, and Jim sat on the bed he was pointed to by the doctor. Sarah slid to the floor near the bed Jim was on and tried to make herself as small as possible.

McCoy looked at the little girl and smiled, “hey, sweetheart, why don’t I help you on to this other bed?”

Sarah shot Jim a terrified look before trying to make herself even smaller. Jim said, “allow me, please?”

“All right,” McCoy said.

Jim picked up his daughter and gently placed her on the bed; he brushed the hair out of her face and whispered in her ear, “I love you, baby.”

“Love you, Mama,” Sarah whispered back.

Jim left her and returned to his bed. McCoy approached and began to scan him mumbling to himself. He asked, “do you know your name?”

“I am James, former High Bearer to High Prince Hohep of Teldor; now I am James, Bearer to Commander Spock of Vulcan.”

“No, I mean your last name.”

“I have no last name,” Jim said.

“How did you end up on Teldor?”

“I was chosen.”

McCoy’s scanner beeped, “what the hell? What did they do to you, kid?”

“Is there a problem most honorable doctor?”

“Problem… problem, yes, there is a problem, kid, you know that you are pregnant, right?”

“Yes, most honorable doctor.”

“Don’t call me that… how the hell are you pregnant?”

Jim blinked at the doctor, “I am a bearer.”

“No, you are a human male. You cannot be pregnant.”

Jim was silent as McCoy expectantly waited for an answer. When he did not receive one he asked, “Your name is James Tiberius Kirk; do you remember that?”

“I am James,” Jim said again; he did not know what the doctor wanted him to say, but he did not wish to be punished for admitting he remembered his former name.

McCoy sighed, “all right, other than you are pregnant; you are in perfect health. I’m going to check the girl now, okay?”

“Yes, most honorable doctor.”

McCoy just shook his and proceeded to scan the little girl. Just as he was finishing the doors to the sickbay opened, and Pike and Spock entered. James was on his feet, and in front of Spock so fast it startled McCoy.

“What do you wish, my husband?”

“Captain Pike and I wish to speak to Doctor McCoy, James.”

“Yes, my husband,” he said and returned to his bed.

“We can use my office,” McCoy said, turning to Jim, “don’t go anywhere, kid.”

Jim didn’t respond as the three men went into the doctor’s office; he didn’t know where he would go as he had not been directed to where he was to reside. These people confused him.

******

“Report, McCoy,” Pike said.

“They are both perfectly healthy, that’s the good news.”

“And the bad news?”

“James is pregnant.”

“Excuse me?” Pike questioned, startled.

“Yeah, that was my reaction. I don’t know how but I do know that James is pregnant. He keeps calling himself a bearer. I’m not certain, but I think that the Teldorian people have some genetic skills that we don’t have. They must have altered him at some point. He has been physically and emotionally abused; to what extent I don’t know.”

“Well, at least he is free of those people now,” Pike said.

“Yeah, but I don’t think he will trust anyone but Spock right now.”

“Why do you believe that, Doctor?”

“Well, he thinks that he is married to you. I couldn’t get much out of him, even after I mentioned his full name.”

“Perhaps it would be logical if I spoke to him in private.”

“You might be the only one to get anything out of him,” McCoy acknowledged.

Spock nodded his head and left the room; he found James exactly where they had left him. He approached and asked, “James, would you please come with me so that we might speak privately?”

James glanced at the little girl but stood from the bed, “yes, my husband,” he said.

“You may bring the child,” Spock said.

“You are most gracious, my husband,” Jim said, and he picked Sarah up off the bed.

******

Spock had taken James to one of the ship’s guest quarters; once inside he decided to ask the young man some questions.

“James, do you understand that I did not purchase you to be your mate but to save you?”

“No, my husband. Why would you do this, my husband?”

“James, please look at me,” Spock said and waited for him to obey, “while we were on the planet, I scanned you and found that you were not Teldorian. We ran your DNA and discovered that you are in fact James Tiberius Kirk, son of George and Winona Kirk. You have a brother named George Samuel Kirk; do you remember this?”

Jim fought with his memories; he would be punished if he remembered or allowed anyone to know he remembered his past, “no, my husband, I do not.”

“James, I will not harm you. It is acceptable to remember.”

Glancing at his daughter and then back to Commander Spock, Jim took a chance and asked, “I am confused, my husband. I have always known my status, and now you are telling me I am free… I have never been free… what will I do?”

“What do you wish to do?”

“I do not know.”

“You have time. I have duties that require my attention. I will have a crew member come and give you a tour of the ship. There are many dangerous areas on the ship, and I wish for you to know where it is safe for you to go,” Spock said.

“Yes, my… if you do not wish to be my husband, how do you wish to be addressed?”

“Commander is acceptable.”

“Yes, Commander.”

Spock left the room illogically unnerved by his conversation with James.

******

Chris was on the bridge when Spock entered, he nodded to the Captain and approached his chair.

“Captain, may we speak in private?”

“In my ready room; Sulu you have the bridge.”

“Yes, sir,” Sulu replied.

Spock followed his Captain into his ready room unsure how he should approach the situation regarding James.

“All right Commander, what happened with the kid?”

“He is confused, sir. He claims not to remember his real name; however, I believe he does remember.”

“How do you want to handle this?”

“I do not know, sir. Perhaps you or Doctor McCoy would be the best to speak with him?”

“Commander, how do you think that will work?

“I do not know, but I am not equipped to deal with his emotional needs, sir. I informed him that I did not purchase him to be his mate and that he is now free. Perhaps it would be logical for him to have humans to discuss his future."

“I’ll try and talk to him after my shift.”

“Have you spoken with his family, sir?”

“No, Admiral Archer is holding off on informing them until we have a clearer idea of his mental state.”

“That is most logical; I do not believe he would handle a great deal of attention well right now.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“Yes, I promised to send a crew member to escort him around the ship. I do not feel it is appropriate to confine him to quarters; however, it would be illogical to allow him free reign.”

“Good idea, I’ll escort him around some tonight. Tomorrow we can have a security officer show him the rest tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.

******

Jim was silently sitting in the room that Commander Spock left him in watching his daughter while she napped. He was not certain how long he had been there, but he was bored. He had always had something to do or occupy his time while he had been the High Bearer. He had had a large collection of books and games to entertain himself with, as well as, his duties in his garden.

He did not want to be ungrateful to the Commander, but he was bored; it was nice not worry about being sent to the mining communities to be placed in a whore house. Sighing, Jim stood and crossed the room to the bed where Sarah was sleeping. He brushed aside a lock of her hair and smiled for the first time without fear that someone would take his daughter away from him. He slipped in beside her and closed his eyes hoping to sleep for a bit before it was time to eat.

The sound of a chime woke Jim from a dream; while he tried to find where it came from Captain Pike entered his room and smiled at him.

“James,” he greeted.

“Captain, what do you wish of me?”

“Just wanted to ask if you wanted to have dinner with me,” he said smiling at Jim.

“Of course, Captain,” Jim said leaving the bed with Sarah still in it.

Pike blinked at Jim, “um… don’t you want to take her with us?”

“If you wish,” Jim said gently shaking his daughter awake.

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby. Are you hungry?”

“Yes, Mama,” Sarah said, sleepily.

“The Captain wishes for us to dine with him, baby.”

“Yes, Mama.”

As Pike watched the interaction between parent and child; he smiled at them. He was shocked by the little girl’s use of Mama for James. He wanted to ask James how he ended up with the Teldorian’s but he decided to tread carefully.  

“We are ready, Captain,” Jim said bringing Pike out of his thoughts.

“Come on, let’s eat,” Pike said slapping his hands together.

They entered the dining hall and found an unoccupied table; Pike smiled at James and asked, “what do you two want to eat?”

Confusion James’ said, “we will eat whatever you wish, Captain.”

“Okay… I’ll see what looks good,” Pike said and walked towards the food replicators. He didn’t know what the kid would like to eat; thinking back to what was served on the planet Pike chose a light pasta dish and water for all three of them; taking the tray to the table, he placed the food in front of his guests and took his seat.

“You are most gracious, Captain,” James said.

“You are most gracious, Captain,” the little girl repeated.

“Does that mean thank you?” Pike asked.

James seemed to ponder the question, “I believe that would be an apt comparison, Captain.”

“Well, then you are welcome. Go ahead and eat before it gets cold.”

They ate in silence until Pike decided to try his luck again and see if he could get anything out of the kid, “so, do you prefer to be called James or Jim?”

“Which one do you desire, Captain?”

Pike smiled at him, “it’s not my decision, James. I want to know what you want to be called.”

“It is not my place to decide what to be called, Captain.”

“All right, I’ll call you Jim. James sound too formal.”

“Whatever your wish is, Captain.”

Deciding to change the subject, Pike asked, “how was your first day on the ship, Jim? Be honest.”

Having been permitted to speak freely, Jim did, “I was bored, Captain. I am used to having much to occupy my time during the day, Captain.”

“Oh, what did you do on the planet?”

“I studied and read my books. I tended to the garden and prepared remedies for illnesses and injuries. If I could see my daughter during the day, I would care for her. I prepared myself for my husband’s use, Captain.”

Jim’s words angered Pike, trying to keep his composer, he said, “I’ll have Commander Spock get you a PADD that you can use.”

“You are most gracious, Captain.”

“How about I walk you two back to your quarters?”

“Of course, Captain.”

******

Entering their quarters, Jim whispered to Sarah to find a corner and stay there until he came to her. She did as she was told, and Jim turned to face the captain. Jim removed his pants and climbed onto the bed, so he was on his hands and knees with his tunic pulled up, exposing his bare bottom. He bowed his head and said, “use me as you wish, Captain, I am yours.”

Pike nearly choked as he watched Jim strip and go to all fours on the bed. The words that the kid said startled Pike out of his shock, “Jim, no, don’t… please cover up and… I don’t want sex from you… I want to be your friend.”

Jim was confused by these people; their behavior was not what he expected, and it threw him off balance. Righting himself but leaving his pants off he said, “I do not know what a friend is, Captain. Do you not find me pleasing?”

“Okay… um… no, I don’t… I mean, yes, you are a good-looking young man, but I’m not interested in that type of relationship.”

Jim approached the Captain and said, “I could be a good mate and bearer for you, Captain. After my son is born, I could give you many strapping sons. I shall be obedient and do everything you ask of me,” he said nearly hysterically. He was confused, he needed direction, and Commander Spock had not wanted him; he felt empty even with his daughter to care for; he required a mate, a husband, a… he needed to be disciplined. If he were not punished, he would become unruly. His current behavior was unseemly; Jim missed Hohep, Hohep would know how to handle him.   He hadn’t been used since Hohep had left for his campaign and Jim was feeling unbalanced; he was a bearer and bearers were meant to be used. Finally, unable to control himself any longer he threw himself into the Captain’s arms and cried against his chest.

“Ah, fuck. It’s okay, kid. Come on, don’t cry,” Pike said. He was unsure how to handle the distraught boy in his arms. Deciding that comfort couldn’t hurt, he picked the kid up bridal style. He carried Jim to the couch and sat down keeping him on his lap while he gently rocked him. Jim was small for his eighteen years. They stayed like that for over an hour when Pike realized that Jim had fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb the kid, Pike stayed where he was.

He noticed that the little girl was still laying down on the floor in the corner. He called out to her and said, “Sarah, why don’t you come and sleep on the couch?”

“Mama said I stay here,” she said.

“Well, it is good to listen to your parents, but I think that you would be more comfortable over here.”

“Will I be in trouble?”

“No, sweetheart. As Captain of this ship I will make certain that you are not punished for sleeping on the couch,” he said in an authoritative voice.

“Yes, sir,” she said and climbed up next to him. She cuddled close to him and asked, “are you Mama’s new husband?”

“Um… no, I want to be his friend.”

“Oh… Mama needs a new husband. Can you get one for Mama?”

“I think the last thing your mother needs is a husband,” Pike muttered.

“But Mama is a bearer, and a bearer needs a husband.”

“I think that is something that your mother should decide for himself.”

Sarah just shrugged and closed her eyes; the captain did not understand bearers, so she would help her Mama to find a new husband. One nicer than the last.

******

Startled awake by the sound of a throat clearing, Pike opened his eyes and found his first officer staring at him with an arched eyebrow. Giving him a tentative smile, he said, “long story… I should probably get ready for my shift.”

“Explain,” Spock said.

“I took him to dinner and when we came back here he… he offered me sex,” he said, quickly offering, “but I turned him down, and he had a meltdown. I think we might need to find someone else to talk to him; he is fragile mentally.”

“I shall endeavor to find someone else to help James,” Spock said.

“Um… good idea… oh, and try calling him Jim… might help. Also, assign him a padd, he was bored yesterday and maybe something for him to read would be a good idea,” Pike said gently shifting and trying to wake the sleeping man in his arms, “Jim?”

Jim hummed and stretched as he slowly woke up. When he was fully awake he quickly removed himself from the captain’s lap and began to apologize, “I humbly ask your forgiveness, Captain. My behavior last evening was most improper; I shall accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate.”

“Jim, it’s all right. No punishment is needed. You were tired and stressed; I think your reaction was understandable.”

“You are most gracious, Captain. I shall try to behave better.”

“Jim, you didn’t do anything wrong. Look, Commander Spock is here, and I need to get ready for my day; I’ll see you later,” Pike said and quickly left the room.

After dressing for the day, he went to find food. He found McCoy sitting at a table by himself; approaching the table, he asked, “may I join you?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“Thanks,” Pike said.  

“You look frazzled this morning, sir.”

“Yeah, I slept with Jim Kirk last night.”

“Excuse me?”

“That came out wrong,” Pike winced, “I meant that I fell asleep with him in my arms after he had a major meltdown.”

“That does not sound much better,” McCoy said, angrily.

“I took him to dinner last night, and I think he thought that I wanted sex in return but when I refused he began to cry. I ended up consoling him until he fell asleep. I don’t know what they did to him, Len but whatever it was it left him very vulnerable,” Pike said sighing.

“Do you think that if we ask, they will tell us what they did?”

“Possibly but I doubt it. They seem secretive.”

“High Prince Johet will not wish to discuss the treaty Captain,” Jim said from behind Pike, surprising the captain and making him jump.

“Then you think going back would waste our time?”

“I should not have said anything, Captain, I am not worthy of this discussion,” Jim said worried he had angered the captain.

“Hey, I’m not mad. Any advice you could offer would help.”

“You will not be offended, Captain?”

“Nope. Have a seat.”

Jim sat and took a bite of his food before he spoke, “My husband was concerned for his people; he believed there was an enemy amongst the stars. He believed that the Federation Alliance would keep Teldor safe. Teldor is advanced, but we do not have the adventuring spirit that your people have. We have warp capable ships, even if we do not use them to explore the stars as your people do, Captain.”

“Do you know who this enemy is?”

“No, my husband would not share such information with his bearer.”

“How do you know all this if he didn’t share it with you?”

“I am observant, Captain. I attended my husband many times during meetings and would overhear conversations.”

“What do you mean ‘attended’?” McCoy asked.

“My husband would require my services while he was meeting with his ministers. Discussions often stressed him; he would use me to help relax and stay focused, Doctor.”

“He had— with you in a room full of people?” McCoy asked, carefully.

“Yes, I was his property. He could do what he wanted with me; however, he never allowed others to touch me. I was for his pleasure only.”

“That’s horrible,” McCoy said.

“It is our way, Doctor. I am a bearer, and I accept my responsibility to my husband.”

“Jim, you know that you are not Teldorian? Your human,” Pike said.

“I am a bearer; Captain and I have no other purpose.”

“Jim, that is not true,” McCoy started but was interrupted by Pike.

“We can discuss this later. Jim, back to Johet?”

“What do you wish to know?”

“You said that he would not be as open to a treaty, why?”

“High Prince Johet neither believes there is a threat from the stars nor does he wish to travel among them. He is also a greedy man. He will only wish an agreement that will enrich him.”

“You don’t seem to hold too much loyalty to Johet,” McCoy said.

“High Prince Johet assassinated my husband, Doctor. If I were still under his authority I would hold loyalty to him, and I would obey; however, since I belong to Commander Spock, I offer my knowledge to you, Captain. I believe that he would wish this of me.”

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to offend you,” McCoy said,

“I am not offended, Doctor. I am not allowed to take offense.”

“They screwed you up good,” McCoy grumbled.

“Why do you think Johet killed Hohep?” Pike asked.

“My husband was injured fighting with the northern tribes. They had damaged our water system, and he had left to oversee its repair. I was called to his room to attended to his wounds and nurse him. When we fell asleep, my husband was alive and recovering. His fever had broken; he was healing. When I woke the next morning, he was dead. I know poisons, doctor. Assassinations are common on Teldor; it is how my husband came to power. It is how all of Teldor’s High Princes come to power, Captain.”

“Wait, they are in the middle of a civil war?”

“No, the northern tribes are not under the High Prince’s authority.”

“Damn, this is more complicated than I thought,” Pike said.

“I do not understand, Captain?”

“Look, Jim, the Federation can’t make a treaty with a planet that is not unified. It’s an all or nothing deal. If there are two factions on Teldor that are at odds, they are not unified.”

“Three, Captain.”

“Three, what?”

“You said that there are two factions, but there are three factions on Teldor.”

“Who’s the third?”

“The southern miners.”

“I thought that they were controlled by the High Prince?”

“No, they are currently aligned with the High Prince because he has given them what they wish. In the past, they have aligned with the northern tribes or have not aligned with either.”

“What did the High Prince give them?” McCoy asked.

“Slaves and whores, Doctor.”

McCoy barely stopped himself from spitting his coffee all over the table, “let me get this straight; the High Prince enslaves his people and sends them down to the southern region of the planet to become prostitutes?”

“No, Doctor, the High Prince sends the females down to become slaves and servants. The whores are bearers or male prisoners.”

“Is that where Johet was planning on sending you?” Spock asked from behind Jim.

“Yes, Commander. The child I carry is a threat to his authority.”

“How could an unborn child be a threat to his rule?” Spock asked.

“My husband still has those that are loyal to him and would use his son to take power away from High Prince Johet. Sending us to the south and the whorehouse would prevent them from using the baby for their purposes,” Jim said.

“And what would have happened to you?” McCoy asked.

“I would have become a whore unless another minister wished to have me. That is the way of things,” Jim said plainly.

“Captain, you cannot be considering making a treaty with these barbaric as… people,” McCoy said, angrily.

Pike sighed, “Len calm down. No, I don’t plan on making a treaty with them, now. We didn’t know any of this information when we arrived here. I need to contact Starfleet command and update them with this new information. Jim, thank you for your help. I’ll see you later,” Pike said as he stood from the table and left Jim with Spock and McCoy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. 
> 
> I'm not to certain about this chapter, but it does explain some of Jim's new biology. (Of course, it is all pseudoscience.)

Jim kept his head down as his husband sat next to him. Until Commander Spock sold him, he would behave as if Commander Spock was his husband. He returned to his food and glanced at Sarah to make certain she was also eating. The people on the ship appeared friendly, but that might change at any moment.

“So, Jim should I know anything about your… um… situation… I mean medically?” McCoy asked.

“My situation, Doctor?”

McCoy indicated Jim’s belly and Jim said, “no, Doctor. I shall have a normal pregnancy as every bearer does. I should only need a scan once a month to check for defects.”

“Defects?”

“My husband’s son has a small chance of being born as a bearer; however, all the scans have shown none of the markers for that to happen.”

“What would have happened if your son was born a bearer?”

“He is not my son, Doctor.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Sarah is my daughter but not my husband’s daughter. This child is my husband’s son but not mine.”

“Okay… but I still don’t get it?”

“Do you mean that your husband did not claim his daughter and you are not allowed to claim your son?” Spock asked.

“Yes, Commander.”

“That is terrible,” McCoy voiced angrily.

“That is our way, Doctor.”

“Yeah… okay, whatever, but you didn’t answer my original question.”

“Naturally occurring bearers are rare, Doctor. Upon birth, they become a commodity. All commodities have a use in the marketplace, Doctor.”    

“You mean that the highest bidder owns them,” said McCoy.

“Yes, Doctor.”

“How old?” McCoy asked.

“Nine, Doctor.”

“Nine!” McCoy shouted.

“Yes, Doctor. That is when training begins.”

“What type of training?” McCoy asks.

“We are trained to be the perfect mate to our future husbands.”

“Does the training include having intercourse with the child?” Spock asked.

“No, that is reserved for the wedding night.”

“How old were you Jim?”

Jim understood the question, “I was fourteen when I was married.”

“He raped you at fourteen, Jim,” McCoy said, sadly.

“It was my duty to be used by my husband.”

“We shall not allow that to happen to your child, Jim,” Spock said.

“Yeah, sorry kid, I just,” McCoy trailed off. “The situation is fucked up.”

“You do not need to apologize Doctor; I know that our ways are not yours.”

“Um… so back to your pregnancy. Do I need to plan for a C-section?”

“I do not understand, Doctor?”

“Surgery to get the kid out when it is time.”

“No, I shall deliver him the natural way, Doctor.”

“Wait… what? Do you mean that the kid will— well, you know.”

“Yes, Doctor. I did not have help with my daughter; I shall not need help with this child.”

“But the baby will come out of— um— that area,” McCoy said.

“Yes. My body does not work like yours does, Doctor.”

“I need to put you under a scanner, kid. I need more detail about your body.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

“You didn’t have a doctor to tend you while giving birth?”

“No one could touch me, Doctor. I am designed to be self-sufficient while giving birth.”

“Well, I don’t care what happened down on that hellhole of a planet, but you are going to give birth in sickbay or a hospital under the care of a doctor,” McCoy said stubbornly.

“If that is what Commander Spock wishes I shall obey, Doctor.”

“Jim, I do not have a say over your health or care,” Spock said.

“Commander, you may not wish to be my husband, but until you give me to another, I must obey you.”

“Jim, you have free will,” McCoy said.

“You do not understand; I do not have free will,” Jim said. He was trying to control his agitation, but he was sure some of it came through in his voice, “I apologize; I am a bearer, and as a bearer, I must have a husband. It is imperative for my gender.”

McCoy was going to open his mouth to repeat something, but Spock stopped him, “Doctor, perhaps it would be logical to allow Jim time to adjust to our ways.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” McCoy sighed.

Spock turned towards Jim and said, “the Captain informed me that you were bored yesterday. I loaded this PADD with reading material for you. Please inform me if there are any other things you would like. Perhaps the planet has something you might wish to purchase?”

“There is a market that would have many items; however, you would need items to trade with, Commander.”

“What would they find trade worthy?”

“Any item that they cannot find on the planet.”

“Such as the stones, I traded with Johet?”

“Yes.”

“How do I find this market?”

“You must petition the High Prince to travel to the market.”

“Very well, I shall see if our orders have changed regarding the planet.”

“Yes, Commander. What do you wish for me to do, Commander?”

“I have a security officer ready to show you and Sarah around the ship.”

“Yes, Commander. You are most gracious, Commander.”

“Thank you is not necessary, Jim but you are welcome.”

Jim stood and grabbed Sarah’s hand, following the guard out of the room.

******

Jim followed behind the guard who was showing him around the ship. Jim was falling in love with the ship; it was beautiful and had so many things to do. His favorite place was the garden or botany room and his second favorite place was the observation deck. They were currently on the observation deck watching out the window as the planet rotated outside. He turned to the guard and asked, “may we stay here?”

“Yes, sir. Do you need directions back to your room?”

“No, I remember the way. You are most gracious, sir,” Jim said.

“Yeah, sure kid. Enjoy your time,” the guard said as he hurriedly left the room.

“Mama?”

“Yes, Sarah?”

“If Commander Spock does not want you, what will happen to you?”

Jim sighed, “I do not know, baby. They do not understand our ways or my needs; perhaps another on the ship shall wish to have me. Come, sit and I shall read to you.”

Jim and Sarah sat in front of the window as Jim read from the PADD that Commander Spock had given him. It was a lovely gift, and it reminded him of all the courting gifts Hohep had gifted him before they were married. He hoped that Commander Spock could convince the High Prince to purchase many of the things that Jim had owned during his time as High Bearer. He missed his things and honestly did not wish to part with them.

Jim lost track of time while he and Sarah sat and read. He was engrossed in his reading when someone cleared their throat. Looking up Jim found Doctor McCoy watching them. Standing Jim said, “Doctor, what may I do for you?”

“Nothing kid, I just wanted to see if the two of you wanted to have lunch with me?”

“Does Commander Spock wish for us to join you?”

“I don’t think he will mind,” McCoy said.

“I… we shall join you then, Doctor,” Jim said as he rose from his spot and took Sarah’s hand.

They followed the doctor to the dining hall and quickly retrieved their meals. Finding a table that was secluded, the three sat to enjoy their meals. All three were quiet for a time enjoying their meals, but McCoy wanted to see if he could engage the kid in some small talk, “how has your day been, so far?”

“Acceptable Doctor,” Jim said.

“What have you done?”

“We toured the ship and then sat and read.”

“All afternoon?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“What did you read?”

“Several different works that Commander Spock loaded onto the PADD he gave me.”

“What were they?”

“Several Earth children’s stories. We were a quarter of the way through Alice in Wonderland when you found us.”

“Wow… you learned to read Standard fast.”

“I never forgot it, Doctor.”

McCoy smiled internally at Jim’s admission; he suspected that the kid remembered more than he was telling them. Instead of continuing and risking Jim realizing that he gave away more than he intended McCoy finished his meal in silence. Spock’s arrival startled him.

“Doctor… Jim.”

“Spock, take a seat,” McCoy said nodding to the spot next to him.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“Jim, how has your day been?” Spock asked.

“Acceptable Commander.”

“Was the tour of the ship enjoyable?”

“Yes, Commander. You were most gracious to arrange it for us.”

“You are welcome, Jim,” Spock said. Spock was silent for a time while he ate; he contemplated his request for Jim to return to the planet with him. He was concerned that a trip to the planet would be traumatic for the young man, but it would be necessary to obtain the supplies that they would need for the return trip to Earth. “Johet offered to allow us to enter the market, but you are required to escort us, Jim.”

“Of course, Commander. It is a tradition that a Bearer travels with their mate when entering the market.”

“Very well. We are scheduled to return to the planet in the morning.”

“Yes, Commander,” Jim said, hesitating before he asked his question, “would you be so gracious to allow Sarah to stay aboard the ship while we are on Teldor, Commander?”

“I’ll watch her,” McCoy offered.

“You are most gracious, Doctor. She will not be any trouble to you, sir.”

“Didn’t think she would,” McCoy smiled at the little girl.

“If you do not require our service Commander we shall return to our room.”

“I will retrieve you in the morning, Jim.”

“Good evening, Doctor— Commander,” Jim said, as he bowed slightly.

Once Jim had left the room McCoy asked Spock, “do you think it is a good idea to take that kid back to that hell planet?”

“No, I do not; however, the High Prince was quite clear in his requirements. Jim and Sarah will need items that the ship does not have. We could clothe Jim with items from the ship, but we do not have items small enough to fit the child,” Spock sighed.

“All right, but you better promise that nothing will happen to that kid while he is down there.”

Spock’s eyebrow rose as he said, “I have no intention of allowing harm to come to Jim while on the planet, Doctor.”

“Good,” McCoy grumbled.

******

When Jim materialized on Teldor, he was surprised to see his former guard, Monep.  

“Is the High Prince unable to meet with us?” Spock asked.

“High Prince Johet has had a… accident and his injuries are confining him to his study. He has released your bearer’s items for retrieval.”

“Thank you. I was under the impression that we would need to travel to the market?”

“The High Prince does not wish to cause chaos among the populous.”

“Very well, James and I shall collect the items,” Spock said.

“I shall take your bearer. The High Prince wishes to speak to you, Commander Spock.”

“James?” Spock asked, cautiously.

“I shall be fine, my husband.” Jim trusted Monep; he had always been kind to him.

“Very well.”

Jim kept his head down as he followed his former guard towards Jim’s old rooms. They entered the room, and Jim immediately asked, “what may I take?”

“His High Prince is allowing you to take all the items that are on the bed.”

“He is most gracious,” Jim said. He sorted through what was on the bed and was pleased to find several bolts of fabric, his sewing kit, most of his clothes, his medicinal case, and at least three dozen of his books. Jim found a slim black case that was not his. Picking the case up, he opened it and found a collar. It was a high-quality polished silver type metal found on Teldor.

“I have the key that will open your current collar, James.”

Jim did not turn around as he felt Monep press against him. “I do not understand?” Jim said.

“Your husband arranged for me to take you if he died. Johet sold you to the stranger before I could acquire you. I plan on trying to purchase you from your new husband.”

“Why would my husband do this?”

“He wished to reward me for my loyalty to him.”

“By giving me to you.”

“Yes. I shall take you as mine, and when the child is born, I shall raise him as my son.”

“What of my daughter, sir?”

“You know the laws, James.”

“I do.”

“I will not seek to acquire her, James,” Monep wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him back to him.

“What must I do?”

“Do not fight me on this and I will not show the High Prince the document that Hohep gave me.”

“What document, sir?”

“Better, James. I shall have to punish you for not calling me sir. Hohep gave Sarah to me as a servant.”

“He sold her to you, sir.”

“Yes,” Monep said, as he began to pull Jim’s tunic up and reached into Jim’s pants. He grabbed Jim’s genitals and began to caress him. Jim could never get hard, but it would make him begin to secrete his natural lubrication. Jim moaned as he became wet and aroused. “Does that feel good, James?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I see that you have not been used enough by your new husband. Do you wish for me to bend you over and take you?”

“I— no, sir. I do not think my new husband would wish for you to use me.”

“Yes, it has been too long,” Monep said as he pushed Jim towards the couch. He pushed Jim over it and pulled down his pants. He shoved two fingers into Jim’s hole and played with him. He pulled his hard member out and was about to push into the bearer when a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away from James.

“Jim, please dress,” Spock said.

“What do you think you are doing,” Monep shouted.

“Preventing you from raping my mate. Jim, do you have what you wish to take?”

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said, quietly.

“Good, we are leaving,” Spock hissed at Monep.

“I have proof that I own James’ daughter,” Monep sneered.

Spock did not respond to Monep. He pulled his communicator out and contacted the ship, “Spock to Enterprise,” he said.

“Enterprise here, Commander.”

“Please send down the crate I had prepared for our purchases.”

“Yes, Commander.”

The next thing they saw was the light from the transporter beam, and a crate appeared in the room. “Jim, please fill the crate with your things,” Spock said.

“Yes, my husband,” Jim said. Jim filled the crate with everything from the bed. Once he finished, he replaced the lid on the container.

Spock opened his communicator again and contacted the ship.

“Are you ready to return, Commander?”

“Yes, please transport the crate first and have it taken to Jim’s quarters.”

“Yes, sir,” Uhura said.

Spock still had Monep in his grip. He called to Jim, “please come here, Jim.”

Jim went, and as soon as he was within touching distance, Spock grabbed Jim and pushed Monep away from them, “Enterprise, energize now,” Spock said into his communicator.

******

When they materialized on the ship, Spock had a death grip on Jim’s arm. Jim was terrified; he was in trouble, and now would be punished for allowing Monep to touch him. His husband did not say anything as he dragged Jim through the ship. They entered a room Jim had not been in before. When his husband released him, Jim dropped to his knees and began to beg, “please, my husband, forgive me.”

Spock had not meant to scare the young man, but when they touched he felt a connection. A connection that he had only experienced once before, with his intended, T-Pring. They had only been children when they had bonded, but the feeling was the same. He stared down at Jim and realized that Jim was waiting for Spock to respond. “Jim, please stand. I am not upset with you.”

Jim stood but kept his head bowed.

“Jim, please look at me.”

Jim immediately lifted his head and looked at his husband. He waited for his punishment.

“Forgive me if I frightened you,” Spock said.

“Do you wish to punish me, my husband?”

“No, I wish to speak with you, Jim.”

“About what, my husband.”

“Please sit, Jim.”

Jim sat at the small table in the room.

Spock took the other seat and began to speak, “I wish to know why you did not stop him from trying to rape you, Jim?”

“I— I told him no. I told him I did not think you would be happy if he touched me as he did. I am not strong, and I could not fight back. Forgive me, my husband. I shall accept my punishment.”

Spock sighed, “Jim, I will not punish you for the actions of others.”

“I do not understand?”

“Jim, perhaps you could explain how you are different than other males?”

“I am a bearer, my husband.”

“Please describe the physical differences between a bearer and a male human.”

“I am capable of conceiving and carrying a child.”

“What other differences are there?”

“As a bearer, I am not able to impregnate others.”

“Would you mind if Doctor McCoy joined us, Jim?” Spock said. He believed that McCoy should hear what Jim was telling him.

“No, my husband.”

Spock opened his communicator, “Spock to Doctor McCoy,” he said.

“McCoy, here. What can I do for you, Commander?”

“Could you please join me in my quarters? Jim is explaining the differences between a bearer and a human male.”

“Yeah, be right there.”

Jim and Spock sat in silence waiting for McCoy to arrive. Spock wished to speak with Jim about the connection he discovered, but he was concerned about Jim’s mental state. Spock needed to talk to Nyota and Captain Pike, but that would wait until Jim was done explaining his biology to them. The chime on Spock’s door rang, and he rose to open it finding McCoy on the other side.

“Doctor,” Spock said.

“Spock, what’s going on?”

“Jim was explaining his biology, and I believed that you would be curious.”

“I would,” McCoy said.

“Jim,” Spock said nodding towards Jim.

“I am capable of conceiving and carrying a child, and I am not able to impregnate others.”

“Is that all your differences?” McCoy asked.

Jim looked to Spock before answering, “no.”

“Jim, I wish for you to tell us about your time on Teldor,” Spock said.

“Yes, sir. I began my training at nine. I learned to read and write the Teldor language. I learned basic botany and natural medicine. My training extended to how I would care for my future husband and his children.”

“When did they change you, Jim?” McCoy asked.

“On the ship.”

“After you were kidnapped?” Spock asked.

“No, I was selected. Bearers are chosen to repopulate the planet.”

“Did you want to go, Jim,” McCoy asked.

“Yes, it was a great honor.”

“What other changes were made to you?” McCoy asked not believing Jim for once second about wanting to leave Tarsus IV.

“I have natural lubrication. My digestive system is slightly different. My genitals do not work the same as human males. I heal faster. I am smaller and not as strong, but I am fast.”

“What do you mean your digestive system is different?”

“I process food more efficiently, so I will produce less waste.”

“How?” McCoy asked.

“It is passed when I urinate.”

“What about solids?”

“I have an extra organ that processes solids into a form that I may pass when I urinate.”

“I need to get you under a better scanner,” McCoy grumbled.

“Perhaps when we arrive at Earth, you will have access to Starfleet Medical’s detailed scanners,” Spock placated.

“Yeah, you said that your genitals don’t work the same. How?”

“I cannot become erect, but when stimulated I will become aroused and secrete my natural lubrication,” Jim said blushing.

“Fuck, why didn’t they make you a woman? They can alter a human male.”

“If I had been born female; they would not have wanted me.”

“Why?”

“Females are born sterile, Doctor.”

“I don’t understand?”

“There was a plague on Teldor; it sterilized the female population. They were advanced but unable to fix the problem with the women; they turned to a group of men. They altered the men to become the first bearers; unfortunately, a natural bearer is extremely rare.”

“They have to convert some of the male population into bearers.”

“Yes.”

“Jim are there others that were selected and brought to Teldor?” Spock asked.

“I do not know.”

“Is there anything else you need to tell us?” Spock asked.

“I do not know if you will understand?”

“Please try, Jim.”

Jim took a deep breath, “as a bearer I need to serve my husband.”

“Serve?” McCoy asked.

“I must attend my husband daily.”

“You mean have sex?”

Jim wrinkled his nose at the term but said, “yes.”

“I believe that was part of the brainwashing they subjected you to, Jim,” Spock said.

Jim sighed, he was frustrated by his lack of ability to communicate he needs to his husband. He did not have the appropriate language to explain it; no, he could not use the correct words to describe his situation.

“What is wrong, Jim?” Spock asked.

“You do not understand, sir.”

“Please explain then.”

“Being used by my mate is imperative for me.”

“Jim, they told you that for the last nine years. You do not need to have sex daily to survive,” McCoy said.

“You do not understand,” Jim said. Becoming angry, he picked up a cup from the table and threw it at the wall behind the Doctor.

Spock and McCoy were startled by Jim’s outburst; they had not seen the young man become angry before.

“Jim, please calm yourself,” Spock said.

Spock’s words infuriated Jim more; he began to cry and scream at the two men.

“I must,” Jim shouted. “It is necessary. Please use me, my husband,” he said hysterically.

Spock looked towards McCoy imploringly.

“Hey, don’t look at me; you married him,” McCoy said.

Spock narrowed his eyes at the Doctor and went to Jim’s side. He picked the young man up bridal style and carried him to his bed. Taking a page from Pike’s book; Spock sat down and rocked Jim. Jim cried for nearly an hour until he finally fell into a fitful sleep. Spock maneuvered him onto the bed and covered him with a sheet. Turning towards the doctor, he began to speak but was interrupted by McCoy.

“What are you going to do with him?”

“I do not know, Doctor. I believe he needs more assistance than either of us is capable of providing.”

“You could say that again. I’ll keep the kid tonight, and maybe in the morning we can figure this out,” McCoy said sleepily.

“Very well, Doctor. We shall reconvene in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Spock,” McCoy said as he left the room.

Spock turned towards the bed; he observed his sleeping T’hy’la. He was concerned about his mate’s mental stability.   Spock determined that the needs of his T’hy’la were paramount. He needed meditation and rest; the next day would bring more issues, and he would need to be at his best.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, but life and things got in the way. This is a very dialog heavy chapter. I'm not sure how good it is, but it was difficult to write.

Jim stretched as he began to wake up from his slumber. He felt clear-headed for the first time in several weeks. His mind flashed back to his behavior the previous evening, and he cringed internally. He caught sounds coming from the area around him; he sighed and opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Jim,” Spock said.

“Good morning, sir. I wish to apologize for my behavior last evening.”

“There is no need for apologies, Jim. You were overwrought.”

“I am coherent this morning, may I explain the situation?”

“Of course.”

“You are concerned I was conditioned to respond in certain ways by the Teldorians, and this is true. I was also genetically altered, and this alteration changed me physically. I was conditioned to obey. My speech patterns were conditioned, and I was conditioned to be the perfect mate. When I told the doctor that I wanted to go with Hohen, I lied. I did not wish to leave Tarsus IV, but my conditioning is difficult to break. I found over the years that an emotional outburst helps to break down the drugs I receive from my collar. The collar I currently wear is new; Hohep gave it to me before he left for his mission.”

“I believed the collar was a piece of jewelry, Jim. Had I known it was injecting drugs into your system I would have removed it from you. Please forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive, sir. Only Hohep could remove the collar. His DNA acted as a key for the lock on it. Monep claimed to have a key to remove it, but I have little hope of getting it from him now.”

“Is that why you let him touch you?”

“No, I truly did not want him to use me, sir.”

“Jim.”

“Please let me finish, sir. I was genetically altered, and those alterations have caused me to need sex.”

“What occurs if you do not have sex, Jim?”

“I become uncentered. As a bearer, I cannot,” Jim trailed off.

“Jim?”

“This is difficult, sir.”

“Yes, I understand. Perhaps we should discuss our relationship, Jim.”

“Do we have a relationship, sir?”

“What do you know about Vulcans Jim?”

“Very little, sir.”

“Jim, please call me Spock.”

“Yes, sir. I mean, Spock.”

“Thank you. Vulcans are a telepathic species. We form telepathic bonds at a young age to a mate. A Vulcan healer forms the bonds, but on rare occasions, a bond may form between two highly compatible minds spontaneously. Vulcan biology is different from humans. We do not speak of it with outsiders; however, I feel that I should explain the situation to you, Jim.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Vulcans are bonded at seven. When a Vulcan reaches full sexual maturity, we experience Pon Farr. After our first Pon Farr, we shall experience it ever seven years. It is distasteful to speak of our Time with anyone.”

“I understand, sir.”

“Jim, Pon Farr is our time of mating. Vulcan males lose all logic and control during Pon Farr.”

“Are you saying that we are not compatible?”

“No, Jim,” Spock said as he moved towards Jim. He touched Jim’s face and said, “we are extremely compatible.” He leaned down and kissed Jim lightly; Jim melted into the kiss. There was a spark of electricity that traveled through Spock; he pulled their mouths apart but kept in contact with Jim. “You are my T’hy’la, Jim.”

“What is T’hy’la?”

“T’hy’la means friend, brother, and lover. It is a very rare bond, Jim.”

“What does this mean for us, my husband?” Jim asked.

“What do you want it to mean, Jim?”

Jim bit his lip; he considered his answer, “I wish to be yours, sir.”

“Jim,” Spock started to say.

“No, please do not patronize me. I know my weaknesses.”

“Very well, Jim. We already have a small telepathic connection between us. When you are ready, we shall formalize our union.”

“I am ready now.”

“Jim, you were just freed from a cruel and horrific man. You need time to heal and find your identity.”

“I understand,” Jim said as he let Spock go and stepped away. “You are trying to be kind. You do not want me. All I ask is that you take my daughter with you and return me to Monep.”

“I will not return you to Monep. Jim, I do want you, but I believe you need time to heal,” he said as he pulled Jim back into his arms.

Jim rested his head against Spock’s chest, “I know who and what I am, Spock. Time will not change that, nor will it heal me. Please do not leave me on my own. I do not know if I could function without directions.”

“Jim,” Spock said, but the hiss of his door opening, and a shocked gasp startled him into silence.

“Spock?” Nyota questioned.

“Nyota— “

“Mama,” Sarah said and ran to Jim.

“Baby,” Jim bent down to hug his daughter.

“Is Commander Spock your new husband?” she whispered.

“I do not know,” he said as he looked up at Spock.

Spock looked imploringly to McCoy who had entered behind Nyota and Sarah. McCoy looked towards Jim, “Hey, kid. Why don’t the three of us get some food?” he said.

Jim could feel the tension in the room; standing he said, “Thank you, Doctor.”

******

“Nyota,” Spock started.

Nyota held her hand up to stop him from continuing. “Did you sleep with him?”

“We did sleep in the same bed.”

“Spock,” Nyota said with narrowed eyes.

“No, we have not had intercourse. Please let me explain?”

“Go ahead.”

“I took Jim to the planet to collect items for Sarah and him. I was asked to speak with the High Prince while Jim and one of the guards went to collect Jim’s items. When I returned to find Jim, the guard was going to rape him. I pulled the man away and had Jim collect all the things he wished to take with him. I touched Jim when I pulled him close to prevent the guard from coming near him again. When I did, I felt a connection to him that is extremely rare.”

“What type of connection?”

“T’hy’la.”

Nyota shook her head in confusion.

“It means, friend, brother, and lover. Nyota I would never hurt you. I care for you greatly; however, to find my T’hy’la is something I cannot walk away from.”

“So, some mystical connection and you end our relationship?”

“It is not mystical, Nyota.”

“Spock— “

“For a Vulcan, to find your T’hy’la, the being that is the most compatible with you in mind and soul— it is an honor.”

Snapping her fingers, she said, “So just like that, and we are over?”

“I do not know. Jim is willing to share, but that is not fair to you or him.”

“No, it’s not. Are you in love with him?”

“No, but I do care for him.”

“Well, why not just be his friend and brother? Is the lover part required?”

“No, in the distant past, two warriors would form a bond during battle and return to their wives for procreation. I would do this Nyota, but Jim is— fragile. There are things about his experience and physical changes that necessitate a mate.”

“Spock that does not need to be you.”

“Nyota, what do you know of Vulcan mating?”

“Isn’t it like humans?”

“No. We do not speak to outsiders about it. However, I feel compelled to explain it to you, so that you will understand my decision to end our relationship. When a Vulcan male reaches full sexual maturity, he will experience the Pon Farr. During Pon Farr, we lose all logic and control. As young children, a high priest bonds us to our intended. My intended, T-Pring, wished to be released from our bonding before I joined Starfleet. I chose to release her; I had intended to ask you to bond with me, but now that Jim is my T’hy’la, I cannot ask this of you. When I enter Pon Farr, I must return to my mate, and Jim is now my mate.”

“Wait, how does bonding work?”

“A priest or priestess creates a telepathic link between two parties. As we near are Time we feel the need to return to where our mate is and to fulfill the primitive desire to bread. I already have a small connection to Jim. It formed when I touched him on the planet.”

“Can it be broken?”

“Yes, but the damage it would do to him would be unforgivable. One should not hurt their T’hy’la. Nyota, I do not end our relationship lightly, nor do I enter into one with Jim lightly. Jim is vulnerable and will need healing, but I cannot let him do that on his own. I am sorry.”

“I don’t know what to say. I need time to— to adjust. Can you give me that?”

“Of course, Nyota. I shall request that we do not share shifts for a time.”

“Thank you, Spock,” Nyota said as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed her former boyfriend on the cheek. She fled the room before she could begin to cry in front of the Vulcan.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. Sorry for the delay in posting, but life sort of got in the way. I would have written more, but I'm sick and am just starting to feel better today.

Jim and Sarah returned to their quarters after their meal with McCoy. Jim found the crate that he had packed and opened it up to sort through his things. He found a book for Sarah to look at while he began to put things away. As he put his clothes away, he decided to keep one simple shirt out so that he could change the embroidery. As he reached the bottom of the crate, he found the slim black case that held the collar Monep had intended to place around his neck. Opening the case, he ran his finger over the collar. In the box was a small device that Jim had never seen before; removing the device from the case, Jim understood Monep’s words while on the planet. The device was the key Monep spoke of that would remove Jim’s current collar and replace it with a new one. Putting the case back, Jim found his sewing kit and decided to work on his shirt.

Jim began the work of removing the current embroidery work. He sat quietly working while Sarah read. Once Jim had finished removing the old embroidery, he began the process of adding the new embroidery declaring his status as the mate of Spock of Vulcan.

******

“Enter,” Pike said.

Spock entered the captain’s ready room. He stood at attention with his hands clasped behind his back waiting to be acknowledged by Captain Pike.

“Commander. What can I do for you?”

“I wish to ask for a shift change, sir.”

“Why?”

“Lieutenant Uhura and I ended our romantic relationship. I believe it would be best if we were not on the same shift for a time.”

“Spill,” Pike said. He pointed to the chair in front of his desk, Spock accepted the invitation and sat.

“I do not know what you wish me to spill, sir.”

“Ha-ha, I knew you had a sense of humor. What happened?”

“I discovered that Jim is my T’hy’la, sir.”

“Wow, that might make a relationship with Uhura difficult.”

“Sir?”

“Spock, I know what T’hy’la means. He is just a kid, Spock.”

“I understand this, sir. I wish to leave him on Earth so that he might recover from his ordeal on Teldor; however, I am not certain if he will allow that.”

Pike shook his head in confusion.

“Jim was mentally manipulated by the people of Teldor. He was also genetically altered in a way that we do not know the full extent of yet. Doctor McCoy wishes to place him under a more detailed scanner once we arrive on Earth.”

“All right, I’ll inform Admiral Archer. We will play things by ear.”

“Yes, sir,” Spock said as he arched an eyebrow.

“Set a course for Earth, Commander. I’ll rearrange the shifts and send it on to you.”

“Yes, sir,” Spock said as he left the Captain alone.

******

Jim was lonely. It had been nearly three days since Spock had visited him. Jim had completed the alterations to his clothing and had made Sarah several new outfits. He had read all the books which Spock had loaded onto his PADD. He had also reread all his books from Teldor. He and Sarah spent most of their time either in their quarters or on the observation deck. His only company was Doctor McCoy.

The doctor took Jim under his wing and protected him from curious onlookers. Jim didn’t mind because he enjoyed the Doctor’s company. They had most meals together, and Jim was wondering if Spock had decided to give him to the Doctor. Jim wouldn’t mind because the doctor was kind and considerate. However, he liked Spock and wanted him to be his husband.

Jim sighed as the chime on his door rang. “Enter,” he called. The door opened, and Doctor McCoy entered.

“Hey, kid,” McCoy said.

“Doctor McCoy,” Jim said smiling at the man.

“New shirt?”

Jim looked down at the shirt he was wearing. “No, I just altered it, Doctor.”

“Looks different. So, are you ready to eat?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Kid, why don’t you call me something else.”

“How would you wish for me to address you?”

“Well, you could call me Leonard.”

“If that is your wish, Leonard.”

“Yep now let's go eat.”

******

Spock was avoiding Jim. He did not know how to handle the new situation with his mate. It was unfair to Jim; however, it was Spock’s only defense against an overly sexual damaged young man. Spock knew Jim was well since Leonard had taken the young man under his protection at Spock’s behest.

Spock was on bridge duty when the Captain requested his presence in the Captain’s ready room. Leaving the bridge in Lieutenant Sulu’s care, he made his way to the Captain.

“Enter,” Spock heard through the door.

Spock entered the room and stood at attention.

“Things keep getting more complicated,” Pike said.

“Sir?”

“I received word from Starfleet Command that Jim’s mother is trying to gain custody of him.”

“On what grounds, sir?”

“Mental deficiency.”

“Jim’s mind is not deficient, sir.”

“Spock, you admitted that Jim was damaged while on that planet.”

“He was altered and abused in many ways, sir.”

“Is he capable of living on his own?”

“I— do not know, sir.”

“You better figure it out before we get back to Earth, Commander.”

“Yes, sir,” he said.

******

Leonard was reviewing medical charts when his office door opened. Spock walked in and allowed the door to shut before he dropped his formal stiffness. Leonard had not seen this Spock in years; in fact, not since they met at the academy and became roommates. At first, it was disconcerting to have a Vulcan roommate, but after the first month together they developed a deep friendship. They never allowed anyone outside to see how close they were, but when they were alone, they could discuss anything.

“I don’t have anything to get you drunk, Spock.”

“Probably a good thing, Bones,” Spock said with a raised eyebrow.

“So, spill to your friendly country doctor.”

“How is Jim?”

“Fine. You would know that if you would talk to the kid.”

“I— “

“You don’t want to influence him. I get it, but I think he misses you.”

“His mother wishes to gain custody of him when we reach Earth.”

“On what grounds?” Bones snarled.

“Mental deficiency.”

“He’s not deficient. He has psychological trauma, but he is quite capable of being on his own and taking care of himself.”

“Do you believe he could live on his own?”

“Yeah.”

“Can he make decisions for his and Sarah’s well-being?”

“He does it every day. I only go and check on him because you asked me to, Spock. I got him to call me Leonard today.”

“That is an improvement.”

“Spock, go and talk to the kid.”

“I will consider it. Thank you for your assistance, Bones.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> I did not double check this chapter before I posted it, so if there are mistakes just let me know. 
> 
> I hope this chapter was a bit better than chapter 9.
> 
> I hope that everyone had a wonderful New Year's Eve and here is to a wonderful 2017.

Spock paced his quarters as he waited for a response from communication. It was three days since his conversation with McCoy, and he still had not spoken to Jim. He wished to plan for Jim’s future before he spoke to him again. He did not want to dictate Jim’s life, but if he could offer options to him then perhaps he could keep Jim from being declared mentally deficient. His terminal beeped; he went to his desk and sat down, this call might take time.

As the image of his mother appeared on the screen, Spock held back a smile for her. He rarely ever showed her emotions, not because he did not feel them but because of fear ingrained from childhood. Fear that if he allowed his human side to show too often, he would be ridiculed and cast aside by his people. His mother would never abandon him, but he never wanted her to have to choose between him and his father; he loved her too much to put her through that type of pain.

“Mother,” he said allowing some affection to enter the voice.

“Spock, you look wonderful. Are you well?”

“Yes, Mother. Is Father well?”

“Your father is well. He is at a council meeting currently.”

“How is the colony performing?”

“Good. It is difficult at times, but we are making it work. The Federation has been wonderful with their assistance.”

“As I knew they would be. How is my— counterpart?”

“He is well. Spock, I love you, but your small talk skills are horrible. What is on your mind?”

Spock’s eyebrow rose at his mother’s admonishment, “Forgive me, Mother.”

“Nothing to forgive, Spock. Now talk.”

“Yes, Mother. I have news.”

“You asked Nyota to bond with you,” Amanda said with a broad smile on her face.

“No, Nyota and I terminated our relationship approximately one week ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spock. What happened?”

“I found my T’hy’la, Mother.”

Amanda’s eyes widened in shock at her son’s words. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes, Mother. It is a difficult situation, though.”

“He doesn’t want to be with you.”

“No, he wishes to pursue a relationship; however, he was abused by others. I do not wish to take advantage of him while he recovers from his ordeal.”

“Oh, dear. What happened?”

Spock spent the next hour explaining to his mother Jim’s ordeal on Teldor. He answered all her questions, but who Jim was until he had finished his story.

“Spock, what is this young man’s name?”

“James T. Kirk.”

“George Kirk’s youngest son,” Amanda gasped.

“Yes, Mother.”

“How old is he?”

“Eighteen.”

“Poor boy. What do you plan to do?”

Spock let his mask slip and the turmoil show in his eyes for a moment as he answered his mother, “I wish to explore a relationship with him, Mother. However, I believe he needs time to heal before he can decide for himself; I will not take advantage of him.”

“Of course, not. Now, what can I do?”

“His mother is trying to gain custody of him on the grounds of mental deficiency.”

“Say no more,” Amanda said holding up her hand to stop Spock from speaking. “I shall speak to your father and make arrangements for Jim to stay with us while he recovers. Now, go and speak to your intended while I make arrangements to meet you on Earth.”

Spock did not have a chance to say thank you or farewell to his mother as the screen went black. He shook his head at his mother’s determination. He knew that he had nothing to fear from Jim’s mother with Amanda determined to save Jim. He left his quarters with the intent of tracking down his intended and finally speaking to him about their future.  

******

Jim snickered as Leonard tried to get Sarah to laugh at the silly faces he was making. He did not have the heart to tell him that Sarah just thought he was insane. She had never had a father figure in her life; nor any laughter. Jim remembered laughter and fun.

“I give up, kid,” Leonard said.

“What are you giving up on, Doctor?” Spock said from behind Jim.

“Making this little lady laugh,” McCoy said pointing at Sarah who was sitting in Jim’s lap.

“Perhaps you should try something less ridiculous,” Spock said making Sarah giggle.

McCoy crossed his arms as if he was affronted, “Well, if that is the way you want to be, I have work to do.” McCoy stalked out of the room leaving Jim, Sarah, and Spock alone.

“Did I offend the Doctor, sir?” Sarah asked.

Spock walked to stand in front of Jim and Sarah. He touched her head and gently smoothed her hair down as he spoke, “No little one, you did not offend the Doctor. He is normally cantankerous. Now, I have something that I need to speak to your mother about.”

“Yes, Spock. Should we adjourn to my quarters?”

“That would be wise.”

The three made their way to the quarters that Jim and Sarah shared in silence. Once Jim had Sarah adequately entertained, he turned to find Spock sitting stiffly on the small couch in the room. Spock motioned for him to take the set next to him.

“Jim, forgive me for not seeing you sooner. I wished to give you time to decide what you truly want without my interference.”

“I understand, Spock.”

“We shall be arriving on Earth in three days, and I must prepare you for what might happen when we arrive.”

Jim just nodded.

“Your mother has made a legal request to gain custody of you when we arrive on Earth.”

“But you are my husband,” Jim said confused.

“Perhaps, but not by Federation law, Jim. However, I have made arrangements to have my Mother and Father seek custody of you as well.”

“I do not understand?”

“As my intended, you will be extended certain rights by Vulcan law. I wish for you to have a choice in this decision, Jim.”

Jim again just nodded.

“If you do not accept my proposal to bond then when we arrive at Earth we shall part ways. If you accept my proposal to bond, then I wish for you to understand all that it entails.”

“All right.”

“If you accept my proposal to bond, we shall be formally bound as intended. It is less than a marriage but more than a betrothal. You will not be able to ask for a divorce or separation except during koon-ut-kal-if-fee. Marriage or challenge, Jim. What this means is that when I enter my time you either accept me as your mate or you challenge my right to claim you. If you challenge me, you must pick a challenger that will fight me to the death. If the challenger wins you will be his mate; if I were to win, you would still be my mate, if I wished to keep you. I do not wish for you to make this decision now, Jim. I want you to think about your choices and inform me when we arrive on Earth.”

Jim nodded. He rose from his seat and went to retrieve the case with what he hoped was the key to his collar. While Spock had been giving him some distance, Jim had decided that he wished to remove his collar. Returning to the couch, he straddled Spock’s lap shocking the Vulcan.

“Please let me speak before you answer,” Jim said.

Spock nodded his reply.

“I have been thinking. When I was sorting my things from Teldor, I found the case with the collar that Monep wanted to put on me. Inside it was what I believe is a key that will remove my current collar. I wish for you to do this for me, Spock. I do not need time to think about my future, Spock. I have always belonged to someone. I will recover some of my independence, but I do not believe I shall ever wish to be without a mate, and I wish for that mate to be you,” Jim said as he leaned in and took a bold step and kissed his future mate.

Surprised by the kiss, Spock allowed it. He wrapped his arms around Jim, pulling the younger man closer to him and enjoying the feel of his future mate in his arms. They kissed for some time, but when Jim moaned wantonly, Spock forced himself to pull away.

“Jim,” Spock said stopping Jim from kissing him again.

“Spock, please. I know you want me, I can feel your pleasure.”

“Yes, I desire you, Jim. You are my T’hy’la, the other half of my soul, but I do not wish to take advantage of you, Ashal-veh. You are too precious to me to harm you in that way.”

Jim smiled at his future mate, “A true gentleman. Will you allow me something?”

“What do you wish, Ashal-veh?”

“First, what does that mean?”

“Beloved.”

“Thank you. Will you hold me while I sleep?”

“Jim— “

“You do not need to use me, Spock. I know you may not ever understand my needs, but I have not had contact with my mate in weeks, and I need to be touched.”

“Just to sleep.”

“Yes, just to sleep.”

“Very well, Jim. Now, let me remove your collar.”

“If you will allow me one more thing?”

“What do you wish?”

“A replacement collar.”

“Jim— “

“Spock, I have lived with one around my neck since I was nine. You do not need to give me one that contains drugs, but it would offer me security and comfort while I am away from you. It might not be your custom nor is it customary for humans, but I have not lived among humans for many years. I understand that you think of my collar as a symbol of enslavement, but it is more a symbol of belonging and protection. My collar afforded me status and safety; a bearer without one was fair game. If you wish, think of it as a promise of my fidelity and love.”

“If that is what you wish, Jim.”

“Yes,” Jim said as he handed Spock the key.

After examining the key and the collar, Spock unlocked Jim’s collar and removed it. He put both items into the case and returned it to Jim.

“Thank you. Will you stay?”

“Only to sleep.”

“I understand. Please let me settle Sarah for sleep, and I shall join you shortly,” Jim said as he slipped off Spock’s lap.

“I shall use that time to return to my quarters and gather my sleep items.”

“You do not sleep unclothed?” Jim asked surprised.

“No, and neither shall you while we share a bed, Jim,” Spock said firmly. He did not know if his self-control would hold if he slept with a naked Jim in his arms all night.

“As you wish, Spock.”

Spock was accosted by Bones on the way to his room to collect his sleeping robe. He allowed his friend to follow him inside he waited for the questioning to begin.

“How did it go?”

“Fine, Bones.”

“Fine? What is it that you always tell me when I say fine?”

Spock rolled his eyes, “We discussed our future, and he allowed me to remove his collar.”

“And?”

“I do wonder why I am friends with you, Bones.”

“Because I know how to get you drunk and we know everything about each other. Now, spill.”

“If I must.”

“Yes, you must,” Bones smirked at him as he handed him a small tumbler with a dark liquid in it.

Spock took the glass and took a small sip; it wasn’t enough to get him drunk, just relaxed. “I gave him the option to stay with his mother or to become my intended. He chose to become my intended. If my mother has her way, he shall live with them while he recovers. When my Time comes, I shall return to him and take him as my mate.”

“Did he agree to that of his free will?”

Spock raised one eyebrow at his friend, “I would not force him, McCoy.”

Bones rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so testy. You know that you will be asked that same question, but without so much tact.”

“No one has ever accused you have having tact, Bones.”

“Haha. A funny man. You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do.”

“What did he say?”

“He has always belonged to another.”

“And?”

“That he may regain some independence in the future, but that he shall always need a mate.”

“And?”

“I believe he is touch starved. He has asked for me to hold him while he sleeps.”

“No sex?”

“I made it clear that we shall only be sleeping.”

“Good.”

“And he wishes for me to purchase him another collar to wear,” Spock said as he downed his drink.

“Excuse me?”

“He explained that he understood it is not a custom of either Vulcan or humans, but that it is one on Teldor. He made it clear that he would feel safe and that it would offer him a sense of belonging.”

“You know others will have a problem with that.”

“Jim already gave me an idea of how to explain it. He told me to think of it as a sign of his fidelity and love. It will be a piece of jewelry that will not even lock.”

“Okay, that might work. You know that the kid is smart.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“He’s read all the books you gave him.”

“I know.”

“He’s translating them now.”

“Into what language?”

“Teldorian.”

“Fascinating.”

“Sarah has already learned to read Standard.”

“How old is she?”

“By human standards, she would appear to be nearly five, but according to Jim she is closer to three.”

“How is that possible?”

“Either he is lying to me, and he had her when he was about thirteen or she aged quicker. It could be because she is half Teldorian. They may look human, but perhaps they age faster?”

“I shall ask Jim.”

“Good luck, he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Perhaps he does not know.”

“Will I still be able to use Starfleet Medicals scanners to scan Jim and Sarah?”

“I do not see why not. It will be necessary for Jim’s prenatal care. Scanning Sarah will allow you a way to care for her in the future.”

“Spock, I’ll be on Enterprise while they are on New Vulcan.”

“Yes, until my Time.”

“And when will that be?”

“According to my counterpart, not for many years; however, with the alterations to the timeline it is possible that I may experience it earlier.”

“Are you sending him away because you want him?”

Spock kept his eyes lowered.

“Damn it, Spock. You know he’s fragile. Can you keep your hands to yourself?”

“Yes,” Spock said through gritted teeth. Bones was the only person he ever showed his temper too.”

“You know that if you ever need to— “

“Do not tempt me Bones. I do not wish to betray my T’hy’la.”

“Okay. I should go.”

“Goodnight, my friend.”

“Goodnight, Spock,” Bones said as he left the room.

Jim was already in bed when Spock returned to Jim and Sarah’s quarters. He slipped in behind his future mate and pulled the younger man into his arms.

Jim sighed when he felt the strong arms of his mate wrap him in a tight embrace. It had been too long since he had felt safe and comforted. He wished he could entice his mate to use him, but he could tell that the Vulcan’s self-control was not quite ready to break. Jim was patient; he would wait until it was time.  


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> Just made some corrections.  
> Edits made 4/16/18

Jim settled back into the strong arms of Spock as he began to awaken. The past three days had been fantastic. Every night Spock would arrive and sleep with Jim in his arms. Every morning Jim would awake with the feeling of contentment and safety. Jim would miss waking up with Spock wrapped around him, but he would survive until the time Spock would return to him.

“You are awake,” Spock said.

“Yes. Do you wish for me to make you tea?”

“No, we should be arriving on Earth in the next few hours. You should prepare for your day and collect what you wish to take with you.”

“I already have prepared my things to take with me, Spock,” Jim said as he turned in Spock’s arms. Now face to face, Jim looked into Spock’s eyes and decided to ask, “Will you give me something if I ask?”

Spock just raised an eyebrow.

“Will you kiss me?” Jim asked shyly.

Spock had been careful not to push Jim too far, but since they had started to sleep together, he was finding it harder to restrain himself. Taking a chance that they would not become too involved with the moment, he leaned in and gave Jim a chaste kiss. The look Jim gave him when he pulled back was one of disgust if Spock were to name it.

“I am not that fragile, Spock,” Jim said.

“Jim, I do not wish to go too far,” Spock said as he pulled away from Jim and left the bed.

“I wish you would,” Jim said crossing his arms over his chest. Jim knew Spock wanted him, but he was restraining himself.

“I do not understand?” Spock said having heard Jim.

Jim sighed, “Spock, it is sweet that you wish to protect me from harm, but I miss the comfort of being touched and used.”

“I would prefer that you not speak like that, Jim.”

“Now I do not understand?”

“Jim, I do not want to use you. I want to care for you and love you,” Spock said as he sat back down next to Jim on the bed.

“But that is what it is, Spock.”

“Jim, sex should be mutual and loving, not one-sided,” he said as he gently touched the side of Jim’s face.

Jim closed his eyes as Spock continued to stroke his face. “It is the only word I have for the act, Spock. The word you use is not appropriate for one of my status. I am not certain I could even say it, but to me, it means the same thing. I understand that what my late husband did to me was wrong, but he was not always mean. Sometimes he was gentle and kind; I liked those times best.”

“Jim, please look at me,” Spock waited until Jim did as asked. “You cannot say the word sex?”

Jim nodded.

“Why?”

“During my training, certain words were made taboo.”

Spock leaned down and kissed Jim slowly. “Jim, when we are ready we shall make love together. I shall never use you nor abuse you,” he said as he pulled back.

“Make love; I like that,” Jim said smiling at his mate.

“I have a gift for you.”

Jim sat up quickly, “A gift?”

“Yes, I know you asked for another collar, but I made this for you instead. We shall get a chain to put it on, but for now, I have used a ribbon,” Spock said. Hanging from Spock’s hand was a blue stone strung on a ribbon.

Jim took the neckless from his mate and threw his arms around Spock’s neck hugging him tightly. “Thank you, it is lovely,” he whispered into the Vulcan’s ear.

Before either man could speak again, the door to Jim’s quarters sounded. Jim scooted past Spock and went to open the door to his visitor.

“Leonard,” Jim said stepping aside to allow the doctor to enter.

“Hey, kid. You ready for the big day?”

“Big day?”

“You and Sarah have a date with Starfleet Medical’s scanners.”

“Oh, I thought I was to meet my mother?” Jim said.

“After your appointment with Doctor McCoy, Jim,” Spock said coming to stand next to the younger man.

“Of course. Sarah, we should hurry and dress, so we do not delay Leonard.”

“Yes, Mama.”

Jim and Sarah left, leaving Spock and McCoy alone.

“He seems to be handling all the change well,” McCoy commented.

“Yes. I should leave to prepare for my day as well. I shall see you when you bring Jim and Sarah to Starfleet Headquarters.”

“Yeah. Hey, Spock.”

“Yes, Leonard?”

“I’ll take care of him.”

Spock just dipped his head and left the room.

******

Spock and Pike entered the briefing room to find it full.

“Spock,” Amanda said as she approached.

“Mother,” he replied as he hugged her. He could tell it surprised everyone in the room, including his father.

“Where is Jimmy?” a blond woman asked.

“He is with Doctor McCoy,” Pike said.

“Captain, Commander, take a seat,” Archer ordered.

“Thank you, Admiral,” they both replied.

“Now, let’s get down to business. Jim Kirk’s mother wishes to have her son live with her. We also have a petition from the Vulcan Ambassador and his wife for Jim to live with them. I also have a filing from the Vulcan High Council that lists James T. Kirk as the intended of Commander Spock and giving Jim the status of a Vulcan citizen. So, what I want to know is why this kid is being married off to you Spock?” Archer said.

“Jim is my T’hy’la, sir. I would never see him again if he wished for me too, but he has stated that he wants to bond with me and I cannot deny my mate.”

“Commander, James Kirk was abused while on that planet. I doubt he can decide something that important about his future. He needs time to recover and heal,” a woman said.

Spock just raised an eyebrow at the woman.

“This is Doctor Sweet. She is the psychologist assigned to Jim’s case,” Archer said.

“I see,” Spock said.

“I hope that you do,” Doctor Sweet replied.

Before Spock could retort the door to the briefing room slid open, and Jim, McCoy, and Sarah entered. Jim tilted his head to the side as all eyes in the room focused directly on him. He knelt next to Sarah and said, “Please stay in the corner until I come for you.”

“Yes, Mama,” his daughter replied.

Jim stood and approached the table, finding an empty chair next to his mate he glanced at Spock and took a seat. He did not speak; he waited to be acknowledged, as was the custom of Teldor.

“Jimmy? Do you remember me?” his mother said.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Oh, Jimmy, I—"

“Winona, I think that it would be best if I speak with James first.”

Jim stiffened when the woman who spoke said his given name.

“James?” she said.

Jim glanced at her.

“My name is Doctor Sweet. I’ll be your psychologist while you recover.”

“What am I recovering from?” Jim asked.

“Your trauma on that planet, James,” she said as she reached to touch Jim’s hand.

Jim quickly moved his hand out of her reach as he said, “I have not given permission, nor has my husband permitted you to touch me. Please do not attempt to do so again.”

“Do you have a fear of being touched, James?” the woman asked.

“No, Doctor Sweet.”

“Then why do you not want to be touched, James?”

“It is not permitted, Doctor Sweet.”

“Why is it not permitted, James?”

“I am a bearer, Doctor Sweet.”

“A bearer of what, James?”

“Of life, Doctor Sweet.”

“Why would that prevent you from being touched, James?”

“You have not been permitted to touch me Doctor Sweet,” Jim spoke slowly as if speaking to an idiot.

“But why would I need permission to touch you, James?”

“Because I am a bearer Doctor Sweet.”

The woman sighed, “James that still doesn’t explain why I can’t touch you?”

“My husband has not given you permission to touch me Doctor Sweet.”

“Commander Spock must give me permission to touch you?”

“I am his bearer Doctor Sweet,” Jim stated.

“James—"

“Ah, hell.   We just got the kid to stop talking like that, and now you start it all over again. First, don’t call him James. His name is Jim. Second stop treating him like he is five,” McCoy grumbled at her.

“Jim, if you want her to touch you, you do not need my permission,” Spock said.

“I do not wish for her to touch me, Spock,” Jim said with disdain.

“James, we have to work on your aversion to touch,” Doctor Sweet said.

“I do not have an aversion to being touch Doctor Sweet.”

Doctor Sweet sighed again and just patted Jim’s hand, “We’ll work on it in our sessions.”

Jim looked at the woman aghast but didn’t say a word.

“I think daily sessions for at least two to three hours at a time, to begin with,” Doctor Sweet said ignoring Jim.

“Do you think that is necessary Doctor?” Winona asked.

“Yes, I do.”

“But he will be able to stay at home with us while he seeks treatment,” Winona asked.

“Not for the first month; I wish to hospitalize him while he undergoes treatment.”

“Spock?” Jim said looking pleadingly at his mate.

“Jim—"

“James, you need time to recover and heal. Just in the short time I have known you, I can tell that you need years of therapy to repair the damage done to you on that planet. You need to learn who you are and what you want from life. I can help you with that,” Doctor Sweet said smiling at him.

“May I speak freely, my husband?” Jim asked Spock.

“Always, Jim.”

“Doctor Sweet, I understand your concern for my wellbeing. I understand that all you want is what is best for me, but you do not know me. I know who I am Doctor. I know what I am, as well. I do not need your assistance to figure it out.”

“James—"

“I am James, Bearer to Commander Spock of Vulcan. I was once High Bearer to High Prince Hohep of Teldor until his assassination.   I carry my former husband’s son; I know who and what I am.”

“James—"

“You do not, nor shall you ever know what I have suffered and endured. I have been locked away before; I shall endure it again if I must.”

“Jim?” Archer said as he waited for the young man to look at him. “What do you want?”

“I want to be with my daughter and my mate, sir.”

“That might not be possible, son,” Archer sighed.

“I understand that, sir. Please understand what I am about to say. I did not want to leave Tarsus IV, but I was forced. I did not want to have the genetic and mental alterations done to me, but I was forced. My husband kept my daughter from me as punishment. He would punish me to keep me from acting out. I cried when he died because he was all I knew for nine years. I was programmed to be submissive to his will and desires. I was programmed to be the perfect mate for my husband, and I was. I am not a danger to myself or my daughter. I will not be cured by time because some of the damage done to me is permanent. If you force me into a hospital, I shall go but it will not alter who and what I am.”

“Jimmy?” an older gentleman said.

“Yes, Grandfather?”

“You remember me?” Tiberius asked.

“I remember everything, Grandfather.”

“If you don’t want to go to a hospital, I’ll help you fight it,” Tiberius said.

“Thank you, Grandfather.”

“We’ll help, too,” Amanda piped up.

“Thank you, Doctor Greyson and Ambassador Sarek.”

“You know our names?” Amanda asked.

“Of course, I must know all about my husband, Doctor Greyson.”

“May I meet your Daughter, Jim?” Amanda asked.

“Sarah, please come here,” Jim called to his daughter. The little girl uncrumpled herself from the floor and went to Jim’s side.

“Yes, Mama?”

“Baby, Doctor Greyson would like to meet you. She is Commander Spock’s mother.”

Sarah walked to Amanda and with a slight curtsy said, “My name is Sarah, daughter of James former High Bearer to High Prince Hohep and now Bearer to Commander Spock of Vulcan. How may I serve you?”

“I don’t need to be served, sweetheart. I just wanted to meet you. Would you like to meet your grandmother?” Amanda asked.

“If you wish it Doctor Greyson,” Sarah said.

Winona stood and went to crouch next to her granddaughter. Smiling at her, she said, “Hello, I’m Winona Kirk, your grandmother.”

“My name is Sarah, daughter of James former High Bearer to High Prince Hohep and now Bearer to Commander Spock of Vulcan. How may I serve you?”

Winona looked at Jim with pleading eyes. “Baby, your grandmother will not hurt you,” Jim said.

“Jimmy’s right, sweetie. I want to get to know you. Do you think you would like to get to know me?” Winona asked.

“Yes, grandmother,” Sarah hesitantly said.

“How about you call me Grandma, not quite so formal.”

“If you insist, Grandma. Will Doctor Sweet be taking Mama away?”

Looking to Jim before she answered, Winona, said, “No, sweetie, she won’t. I would like to get to know you and Jimmy, but if you want to live with Amanda and Sarek, we will work that out.”

“Mrs. Kirk, I do not think that is such a—"

“I’m withdrawing my petition. Jimmy doesn’t need my mothering. I already lost nine years of my baby’s life; I do not want to ruin a potential relationship by taking him away from his daughter. If this little girl is any indication of Jimmy’s parenting skills, I don’t think he needs my help.”

“Admiral Archer,” the doctor tried.

“Look, Lady, you don’t know the first thing about this kid,” McCoy started, “I think that if he needs any mental help, we can find him someone who doesn’t want to lock him up again.”

“Well, I never—"

Spock looked the woman up and down, raised an eyebrow and said, “No, I do not think you have. Perhaps it would be wise for you to leave as my mate is not in need of your services.”

The woman turned red and stomped out of the room.

“Did you just insinuate that she has never,” Pike started to say but was stopped by Archer laughing.

“Oh, yes he did. Commander Spock, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”

“I do not, sir.”

“Vulcans. Well now that that is taken care of, how about everyone gets out of my conference room.”

“Yes, sir,” Pike said.

The group disbanded and made arrangements to meet at Winona’s hotel in San Francisco. Jim and Spock were the only two left in the room. Spock looked at his mate and said, “Forgive me, Jim.”

“For what should I forgive you for, my husband?”

“Not protecting you as I should.”

Jim moved to sit on his husband’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. He buried his face in Spock’s neck and whispered, “You treat me like a wounded animal; I am not in need of soothing. All I wish is to be is your perfect mate.”

“Jim— “

“Spock, I was taught to be the perfect mate for Hohep. I am capable of learning and fulfilling your needs, all you need is but ask.”

“Then all I ask is for you to be James T. Kirk. All I wish is that you learn who you are and do not try to please me.”

“Do you not wish to please me, Spock?” Jim asked.

“Of course, I wish to please you, T’hy’la.”

“Then why should I not wish the same, my husband?”

“I— your logic is sound, Jim,” Spock said annoyed.

“Of course, it is, my husband,” Jim said with a smile on his face as he leaned in and kissed an annoyed Spock.

“I believe you are teasing me,” Spock said.

“Never, my husband, that would be most inappropriate behavior for a Bearer.”

“Our families will be concerned if we do not arrive at the hotel soon, Jim,” Spock said realizing that Jim was teasing him. Perhaps Jim would be well in time. Jim just smiled as he stood and took Spock’s hand as they left the room together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that I was able to convey Jim's strength in this chapter. I think he may have come off a bit formal at first, but that is his default setting when he becomes stressed or worried.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

Amanda opened the door when Spock and Jim arrived at Winona’s hotel room.

Sarah rushed to Jim’s side as soon as he entered the room. “Mama, look what Grandma gave me,” she said showing Jim a stuffed brown teddy bear.

Jim knelt next to his daughter to see her new gift, “It’s lovely, baby. You were gracious in accepting your gift, I hope.”

“Yes, Mama. I do not wish punishment nor for your punishment, for my bad behavior.”

“Oh, baby,” Jim said pulling his daughter into his lap. “No one will punish you or me for not saying thank you. I—" he said as he began to cry.

“Jim,” Spock said. Jim just looked at Spock with pleading eyes. Deciding he needed to act, Spock knelt and scooped up both Jim and Sarah into his arms. Looking to Winona, he asked, “Is there a room where Jim and Sarah could rest?”

“Yes,” she nodded in the direction of a door on the other side of the room.

“Thank you,” Spock replied as he took his mate and new daughter into the room. He laid both down on the bed and crawled in behind Jim, pulling the younger man into his arms and kissing the top of his head.

“Forgive me,” Jim whimpered.

“There is nothing to forgive, T’hy’la,” he replied. “Rest, you shall feel better when you awaken.”

“Will you stay?”

“Until you are asleep, then I will be in the next room.”

Jim hummed as he snuggled back into Spock’s arms. Spock stayed until Jim and Sarah were sound asleep. He then left the room in search of the others.

“I am sorry Commander,” Winona said.

“You have nothing to apologize for Mrs. Kirk.”

“I didn’t think that a simple gift would set either of them off, and please call me Winona.”

“This is not the first time Jim has broken down, Winona. He will be well when he awakes. May I ask a question of you?”

“Yes, anything.”

“Where is Jim’s step-father?”

“Frank?”

Spock nodded.

“Still on Tarsus IV, but I divorced him years ago. I wanted to explain to Jimmy, but maybe it would be better if I told you first?”

“Please.”

“When I left Tarsus IV, I could only take Sammy. Kodos was restricting passage on all transports for all children nine and under. I knew that something was not right in the colony, but I couldn’t get a transmission to the Federation, so I thought that my best bet was to leave and return to Earth. I took Sammy with me and left Jimmy with Frank. I thought that Frank would protect him until I could return but now I know he didn’t.   We returned to find a thriving colony, but Jimmy was gone. They informed me that my baby had died in an accident. I returned to Earth and divorced Frank. If I had known, I would have looked for Jimmy.”

“I do not want that man near Jim or Sarah,” Spock snarled.

“I haven’t talked to him in years, and I won’t start now. I might kill him if I ever see him again.”

“Acceptable.”

“What is Jim going to do when you return to your ship?” Amanda asked.

“That will be Jim’s decision Mother.”

“He is welcome to stay with us on New Vulcan.”

“I shall extend the invitation to him, Mother.”

“May I ask a question?” Winona said.

“Yes.”

“What did they do to Jim? I mean, he has a daughter that calls him, Mama and he mentioned that he is carrying a son.”

“They genetically altered him; they altered him to allow for him to become pregnant and carry a child to full term.”

“So, Jimmy is pregnant,” Tiberius said.

“Yes.”

“Can he be altered back?” Winona asked.

“No, I cannot,” Jim said from behind Spock.

“Jim—"

“Forgive my prior behavior; I sometimes act out when I am overwhelmed.”

“There is nothing to forgive, Jimmy,” Winona said.

“You are most gracious.”

“Jim, my mother, and father have extended an invitation for you to stay with them on New Vulcan when I return to the ship.”

“That is most gracious of you, must I decide now?” Jim asked.

“No, we are not scheduled to return to New Vulcan for three weeks,” Sarek said.

“I shall inform you before then, Ambassador.”

“That would be logical. Wife, I believe we should take our leave and allow Jim time to visit with his relations.”

“Yes, of course. Jim, it was a pleaser to meet you; I look forward to seeing you again. Will you and Spock have dinner with us tomorrow evening?”

“Spock?” Jim asked.

“It is your decision, Jim.”

“Yes, it would be lovely to have dinner tomorrow evening. You are most gracious.”

“You are most welcome, Jim. We shall see you both tomorrow,” Amanda said as she and Sarek took their leave.

“Jim, I would like to talk to you,” Winona said.

“Of Course,” Jim said as he walked over to the couch and took a seat.

“I want to apologize for what happened to you.”

“You did nothing wrong, Mother.”

“Jimmy, I left you on that planet. I should have done everything in my power to take you with me when I left Tarsus IV.”

A memory of being angry flashed through Jim’s mind, but he did not feel the emotions that went with the memory. Jim did not feel anger directed at others only himself for when he failed to live up to the expectations of his husband. The old memory only made him sad now, but he did want to know why he was left behind on Tarsus IV. “Why did you leave me?” he asked.

“Kodos wouldn’t let me take you. I thought you would be safe with Frank. I had no idea what they would do to you, Jimmy. Please forgive me,” his mother pleaded.

“I do not understand?”

Winona sighed, “I knew something was wrong on Tarsus IV. I booked passage for all of us to return to Earth, but right before we were to leave a guard showed up at the house telling us that we could all leave, but you would have to stay. At first, I didn’t know what to do, but I talked to Frank, and we decided that he would stay with you on Tarsus IV while I took Sammy back to Earth. I believed that once I was on Earth, I could convince Starfleet to investigate Tarsus IV and the Governor. They told me you had died in an accident when I returned to the planet. If I had stayed, I could have protected you, Jimmy. I am sorry baby,” Winona said.

“I am glad that you did not stay, mom. They would have killed you if you had tried to interfere.”

“Will you tell me what happened?”

“Frank informed me that you had left me on Tarsus IV because Grandma and Grandpa did not want me with them. It did not seem correct, but I had nothing to say he was wrong. One day we were all called to the town center for a speech Kodos was to give. Kodos ordered all the boys under nine to stand in a line for inspection. A man, High Prince Hohen, chose me to be the future mate to his son, Hohep. They altered and trained to be the perfect Bearer and mate to the future High Prince Hohep. Kodos and Frank sold me to him for the cure to the blight.”

“Why did you not tell us this, Jim?” Spock asked.

“You might not have wanted to keep me. I did not wish to live in the south and become a whore. I did not know if I could trust you at first, Spock.”

“You do not trust me.”

“I do now, but at first you could have been as unpleasant as my future masters would have been. I did not wish to anger you and suffer punishment. I have learned that you do not meet out punishment as my former husband and people did. Forgive me for not trusting you, my husband,” Jim said.

Spock sat next to Jim and touched his shoulder as he said, “You have nothing to forgive, T’hy’la.”

Jim moved, so he was sitting in Spock’s lap and cuddled into him, “You are most gracious, Spock. Where is Sammy, Mom?”

“He is studying biology at John Hopkins. He wanted to be here, but I told him he had finals to complete. He plans on calling you soon. He missed you.”

Jim gave a small smile as he remembered his brother, “He did not like me tagging along with him and his friends. Is he married?”

“No, but he is dating a nice young woman named Aurelan.”

“I would like to meet her,” Jim said.

“She is planning on coming with Sam when he visits. He will be out on summer break, so maybe you two can catch up?” Winona said hopefully.

“Is it almost summer?” Jim asked.

“It’s almost June, Jim.”

“The baby will be born in October,” Jim said surprising Spock.

“I had not thought of that, Jim.”

“There is no need for you too, Spock. He is not your son.”

“I would claim him, if you will allow it, Jim,” Spock said as he laid a hand on Jim’s slightly extended belly.

“I would not deny you anything, my husband. When the time is right, I shall give you many more strong sons,” Jim said as he cuddled closer to Spock and ignored the shocked gasps of the others in the room.

“Jim, I wish for you to be independent. When we are ready to have children together we shall make a mutual decision,” Spock replied.

“If that is your wish.”

“What do you wish to do with your life, Jim?” Tiberius asked.

“I do not know. Choices are not mine to have.”

"You have choices now, Jim. What do you like?” Tiberius asked.

“I like to read.”

“What else?”

“Take care of my daughter.”

“What else?”

“I like plants. Botany.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it was one of my many duties to my husband. I oversaw caring and cultivating the gardens in the palace. I learned many remedies for illnesses because of my time in the palace gardens.”

“What were your other duties?” his grandfather continued.

“I made all my clothing. I also made all of Sarah’s. I was also the keeper of the Palace Library.”

“You had a lot of responsibility, Jimmy.”

“I was trained as every Bearer is trained.”

“Jim, are you ready for sleep?” Spock asked.

“Yes, but I need contact. Come to bed with me?”

“Of course, T’hy’la,” Spock said as he stood and carried Jim back to the bedroom.

“Thank you, my husband,” Jim said as Spock laid down behind him and pulled him into his arms.

“Sleep, Jim. I shall be here when you awake,” Spock said.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> I just wanted to take the time to say thanks to everyone who has left comments about this story.
> 
> Edits 4/16/18

Jim was on Earth for two weeks when the Enterprise was ready to leave. In the two weeks since Jim arrived on Earth, he had spent time with his family and with Spock’s family. Jim had decided that he would remain on Earth until the birth of his son. He and Sarah were planning on moving to Riverside to stay with his mother. Sarah adapted to life on Earth quicker than Jim had. She had developed a close relationship with both Winona and Amanda in the short time she had known them. Jim, however, was having a difficult time opening to his family. After his initial explanation of his kidnapping, he refused to offer any more information. In time he would open up again, but he feared rejection from his family when they learned what he had done.

Currently, Jim was in the shuttle transport dock waiting to say goodbye to his mate. Jim was not ready for Spock to leave, but there was little he could do to prevent it. He was pulled from his thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Jim?” Spock asked.

Jim turned to face Spock, “I do not want you to leave.”

“I know, but I must.”

“I know,” Jim said as he wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Spock let Jim control the kiss, but soon he took control. He kissed Jim passionately causing his mate to moan; he only pulled away when Leonard approached.

“Get a room,” McCoy grumbled.

“Leonard,” Jim said as he released Spock and went to hug his friend.

“I’m gonna miss you too, kid.”

Jim pulled away from Leonard and asked, “Promise you will take care of Spock?”

“Sure thing, kid. I’ll make sure he comes back to you in one piece. I’ll see you on the transport, Spock.”

“I shall be there shortly.”

“What, no five point six minutes?” McCoy joked.

Spock just raised one eyebrow at his friend.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“You will come back to me?”

Spock stepped next to Jim and took him into his arms as he said, “Always. I shall always return to you.”

“I shall write to you daily.”

“That would be agreeable.”

Jim sighed and let Spock go. He pulled away from his husband and gave him a small smile, “You should leave now, I do not wish for you to miss your transport.”

Spock surged forward and took Jim back into his arms kissing him fiercely. As he pulled away from Jim, he said, “I shall miss you, too.”

Walking away from Jim at that moment was the hardest thing Spock had ever done.

Jim watched as Spock boarded the transport ship that would take him back to the Enterprise and away from him. Jim wanted to rush after his mate and convince him to stay, but Jim would be brave and strong for his mate.   He would prove to Spock that he could be the perfect mate for a Vulcan.

******

Jim entered the Vulcan Embassy to find Amanda waiting for him.

“Jim,” Amanda said warmly.

“Amanda, you are most gracious to meet with me.”

“You could just say thank you, Jim.”

Jim ducked his head and blushed, “I know, but it has become a habit.”

Amanda smiled at him, “So, why did you wish to meet here?”

“I wish to ask a favor of you.”

She led Jim to a secluded area, so they could speak in private. Sitting next to him, she asked, “Favor?”

“I wish to know if there is a Vulcan who could teach me.”

“Teach you what, Jim?”

“I wish to learn the culture and history of Vulcan. I know Teldorian history, and I wish to learn about Vulcan.”

“I shall see what I can arrange, but Jim I want you to know that Vulcans can be difficult. I love my husband and son, but Vulcans can be stubborn and arrogant.”

“I am accomplished in handling stubborn and arrogant, Amanda.”

“Yes, well Spock can be stubborn,” Amanda giggled.

“I was not speaking of Spock, but of my former husband.”

“Forgive me, Jim,” Amanda said wincing.

“There is nothing to forgive. I am not living in my past, Amanda.”

“Understood. I shall see what I can do, but I thought you were moving to Riverside with your mother?”

“I shall be, but I wish to learn. Even if it is just with books.”

“I could get you some books to start with that have been translated into Standard.”

“Would it also be possible to obtain books that would help me learn the Vulcan language?”

“I’ll see what I can find for you. When are you leaving for Riverside?”

“In two days. Would you mind if I communicated with you by letters?”

“That would be lovely, Jim,” Amanda said smiling at him.

“Thank you, Amanda. My grandfather is waiting for me.”

“You should go then,” Amanda said hugging Jim.

Jim just ducked his head in embarrassment at the affection shown by Spock’s mother. Jim escaped her embrace and left the embassy to find his grandfather waiting outside for him. Part of Jim was looking forward to traveling to Riverside and seeing his grandmother, but another part of Jim was waiting for rejections from his family.

“Everything taken care of?” Tiberius asked.

“Yes, thank you for waiting.”

“It wasn’t a problem. Come on, your mother and Sarah are waiting for us at the restaurant.”

Jim just nodded and walked next to his grandfather. They walked through the city towards a small restaurant that his mother said was terrific. Jim didn’t care about food; he ate what was available, but he was happy to see others enjoy their food. They entered the restaurant to find Winona and Sarah already seated at a small table in the corner of the dining room. Jim took a seat between his mother and daughter. He looked at the menu; he never had to pick his food, so he wasn’t sure what to order. Jim knew that this was one of the things he would have to learn to do on his own, but it was not easy. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the menu and found something he thought he might like to eat; it was a light pasta dish with vegetables.

“How was your visit with Amanda?” Winona asked.

“Good.”

“What did you need to ask her?”

“I wished to acquire books about Vulcan.”

“Why?” Tiberius asked.

“My mate is Vulcan. It is logical to learn all about his home.”

“Are you looking forward to going home?” Winona asked.

“I am curious about Riverside,” Jim said because his home was where Spock was.

“Not much has changed. The shipyard is still there; maybe we can arrange a tour of it if you want.”

“That would be nice. Is there a library in town I might use?” Jim asked.

“Yes,” Tiberius answered.

“I like to read,” Jim said.

“There is an antique bookstore here in the city; we could go and see if there is something you would like to buy?” Winona offered.

“Yes, please,” Jim said his eyes lighting up with excitement.

Winona gave him a happy smile and said, “After we eat we can go as see what they have.”

“Thank you, mom,” Jim said making Winona tingle with happiness.

******

The trip to the bookstore was an experience for all involved. Jim was impressed by the collection of books on offer, and they walked out with a dozen books for Jim to read. Winona was surprised by Jim’s choices in books; he had everything from history to literature to philosophy. Jim had surprised Winona and Tiberius by making friends with the store owner. The older man had taken to Jim and even agreed to let Jim know when a book came into the store that he thought Jim might like. The store owner, Marcus, was the first person that Jim had warmed up to, outside of the immediate family. They hoped that it would bode well for Riverside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part of this story will take place with Jim living in Riverside and Spock on the ship. The next part will also be Jim centric as he learns to navigate life without Spock and having constant orders.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Comments are welcome. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting this.

Jim was in his room just finishing his latest letter to Spock. Jim had been in Riverside for nearly two weeks, and he was still getting used to not having someone tell him what to do all the time. Sarah was taking a nap in her room, and his mother was out shopping. Since they had arrived in Riverside, Jim was trying to relax and become more independent, but it was difficult. Socialization was problematic for Jim. He did not see the need to spend significant amounts of time with others. He was comfortable spending time alone or with his daughter, but his family seemed to want him around all the time. Jim had just begun to read his newest book when he heard a light knock on his door.

“Enter,” he called.

“Hey, Jimmy. I just wanted to let you know that I’m home. Did you eat?” Winona asked.

“Yes, mom.”

“Why don’t you come downstairs, I bought some things I want to show you.”

Jim smiled at her and followed her down to the living room. He would have preferred staying in his bedroom, but socializing was an essential part of his recovery. He found his mother in a pile of things that looked suspiciously like baby clothes.

“Mom?”

Winona bit her lip, “I might have gone overboard, but I didn’t get to do this for Sarah. I did get Sarah some new clothes and toys, too. Please, don’t be mad.”

Jim sighed, “I am not upset, mom. I had not thought of clothes for the baby. I had assumed I would make all his clothes, as I did Sarah’s.

“You sew?”

“Yes.”

“I bet if you ask, your grandmother will let you use her machine.”

“I do not know how to use a sewing machine. I do all my work by hand.”

“Wait, did you make all of your clothes?”

“Yes, it is required by my status,” Jim said.

“Status?”

“As a Bearer, I was required to perform many tasks to support my husband.”

“Wait, didn’t you have servants? I mean you were like royalty.”

“The royal palace had servants, but I was required to take care of myself. My husband did not wish to have anyone influence me. I rarely saw anyone other than my guards and my husband.”

“What about Sarah?”

“She was taken away from me when she was old enough. I only saw her when my husband wished to reward me.”

“He kept your daughter away from you?” Winona asked angrily.

“I was fortunate that she was not sold right after her birth.”

“Sold? Her father would have sold her?”

“Yes, but he did not consider himself her father. Teldor has few women on the planet. Those that are born are sold as servants and kept segregated from the men and Bearers.”

“Why?”

“Fear. A plague ravaged Teldor and killed or sterilized the females on the planet. Their scientists tried to correct the problem, but they were unsuccessful. They wished to survive, so they created the Bearer gender.”

“But if they could create an entirely new gender, how could they not fix an infertility problem with their women?”

“They did not wish to fix the infertility issue.”

“I don’t understand?”

“They decided with, so few women left that it made little sense to try and salvage them. They had the genetic technology to create a new gender, and it was more to their liking.”

“They liked men.”

“Yes, but they would never admit that. I do not know if those in the north were the same, but I do know that the central people felt that way.”

“The north?” his mother asked completely confused.

Jim didn’t answer; instead, he took his mother’s hand and placed it on his extended belly where the baby was kicking him.

“Oh, wow,” she smiled at him, “Thank you, Jimmy.”

“You are welcome. Will you show me what you purchased?”

“Oh, yeah,” Winona said. Mother and son spent the next few hours looking at all the clothes that Winona had purchased.

******

Spock was in the dining room with a cup of tea and the letter he had just received from Jim. He opened it and was surprised to find it in Vulcan. He was not aware that Jim could write Vulcan. His mother had mentioned that Jim had requested books on the history of Vulcan, but nothing to do with the language. He began to read:

Spock,

I wish to inform you that I miss you greatly. I wished to converse with you in your native language, so I took it upon myself to learn. I hope you do not mind. Riverside is a very nice place to live, but my home shall always be with you.

The baby has started to kick. My brother shall be here in a few days; he is planning on staying with us for the entire summer. I shall endeavor to write again when I have more information about his visit.

I am reading all the books I have been able to collect. I have learned much about Vulcan history and culture. Shall we live together for one year after we are properly mated?

I do not know what you would wish to know about my life in Riverside. Will you please inform me of what you would want me to write to you?

Forever Yours,

Jim

 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Nyota asked.

“I was reading a letter from Jim.”

“Ah, how is he doing?”

“He appears to be fine. He wrote to me in Vulcan.”

“He knows Vulcan?”

“Yes, apparently he taught himself.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

“Yes. I should respond back, excuse me.”

“Of course,” Nyota said nodding her good-bye.

Spock walked through the ship to his quarters. Once inside, he began to compose a response to Jim:

 

T’hy’la,

I miss you as well. I am grateful that you are settling in well. You were not required to learn my native language; however, I am pleased that you wished too.

To answer your question; yes, I wish to live with you for a year after we mate.

I wish for you to inform me of your health and that of the child’s. I want to know about your daily life and how your recovery is progressing.

Spock

 

******

Jim was sitting on the couch when the front door to the house opened, and a loud young man came barreling into the house.

“Jimmy!” the young man shouted.

Winona came out of the kitchen with a stern look on her face, “Sam, don’t scare your brother.”

“Sorry. I’m just excited.”

Jim stood and looked at his brother; Sam had grown, but it had been nine years since Jim had seen him.

“Jimmy, you grew up.”

“Yes, I am nine years older.”

“Still a wiseass.”

“Sam,” Winona scolded.    

“Sorry, sorry. How are you, Jimmy?”

“I am well. How are you?” Jim asked back politely.

“Good, good. So— um—“ Sam was cut off Sarah arriving in the room.

“Mama?”

“I am here, baby. Did you have a good nap?” Jim asked as he went to his daughter and picked her up.

“Yes. May I have food?”

“Of course, you may, sweetheart,” Winona said. “Let me take her into the kitchen, Jim.”

Jim put Sarah down, and she scurried to her grandmother.

Jim returned to the couch and sat down; he picked his book back up to continue reading, but he felt the cushion dip next to him. He turned to look and found his brother staring at him.

“You have a kid? Why did she call you Mama?”

“Did Mom not tell you?” Jim asked.

“No— she said you were different, but nothing about me being an Uncle. And you didn’t answer my question; why did she call you Mama?”

“Because I carried her and gave birth to her. She is my daughter.”

“Whoa, seriously?”

“I would not lie. Yes, Sarah is my daughter.”

“What the hell happened to you?”

Jim sighed; he did not like having to repeat his story every time he met someone new. His mother returning prevented him from answering.

“Jim, Sarah wants you,” his mother said.

He stood and left the room.

“Mom, what did they do to him?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know the whole story. Jimmy has been reluctant to discuss everything. They genetically altered him; they made him into a third sex. They forced him to marry a man who was abusive. But he has refused professional help,” Winona sighed.

“Well make him, Mom.”

“I tried that, and he did not take well to the idea. I dropped my petition to seek custody of him and did convince him to come home to Iowa with me.”

“Well, of course, he can back to Iowa; it’s his home. Where else would he go?”

“Vulcan.”

“What?”

“He could have gone to Vulcan.”

“Why the hell would he want to go to Vulcan?”

“Because his future mate is part Vulcan.”

“I’m confused.”

“He met a Vulcan, Commander Spock, while he was on the Enterprise. Apparently, they are T’hy’la, soul mates.”

“So, what, he is just going to marry another guy? Doesn’t he get a choice in this?”

“It’s what he wants, and he is an adult.”

“Mother, he was abused; he cannot be thinking clearly. How do you know that this Spock person isn’t going to take advantage of Jim?”

“Spock would not harm me or take advantage,” Jim said having just returned to the room in time to hear the tail-end of the conversation.

“Jimmy, aren’t you angry?” Sam asked.

“Why would I be angry?”

“Aren’t you angry about what happened to you?”

“I was angry when you and mom left Tarsus IV without me. I was angry when Frank and Kodos sold me to the High Prince. But what good is my anger now? My husband and his father are both dead. I cannot change what they did to me. All I can do is look to the good that came out of my suffering, my daughter and my,” Jim said as he placed his hand on his ever-growing belly, “Son. I am tired of having to explain myself and defend my desire to marry Spock. Even he is trying to push me to be more independent and away from him. What good would my anger do for myself or my children?”

“Sorry, Jimmy. I just don’t want you pressured into something you don’t want,” Sam said.

“I understand. Sarah, please put your shoes on.”

“Jim?” Winona asked.

“Sarah and I are taking a walk. We have been inside too long.”

“Of course, we will see you when you get back,” his mother smiled at him as he took his daughter’s hand and left the house.

“Why are you smiling, mom?” Sam asked.

“Jim didn’t ask if he could take a walk outside.”

“Huh?”

“Since he came home, Jim has asked if he may do something or go somewhere. It’s an improvement.”

“Okay, if you say so, Mom,” Sam said as he left the couch to take his luggage up to his room. He wasn’t sure what to make of his brother; he was different. He had plans to make so before he put his things away, he contacted a few of his old friends from town.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up, but I just haven't been able to get it completed until tonight.  
> edited 4/16/18

Jim was sitting on the couch with knitting needles in hand, and his first official project as his Grandmother directed his efforts. His Grandmother had suggested adding knitting to his ever-growing skill set as it might be useful for making baby items. It had been a month since his brother had returned to Riverside and they had yet to develop a close relationship. Sam was uncomfortable around him; Jim was sure that his brother did not know quite how to speak to him about his past.

As Jim completed another row on the blanket, his Grandmother spoke, “It’s looking nice, Jim.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, when you finish this blanket, you promised to show me some of that fancy embroidery.”

“Of course,” Jim started but was interrupted by the beeping of his PADD. He looked at it and noticed a message from his school test results. The tests were at the behest of the Federation. They believed it was necessary to know where he was in his education. Jim had been resistant at first, but his mother and Spock had prevailed upon him to take them. Spock had even suggested that Jim could attend a university when he was ready.

“Another letter from Spock?” his Grandmother asked pulling him from his thoughts.

“No, my test results.”

“Well?”

He did not care what the results said, but he could see the hopeful look on his Grandmother’s face, so he opened the message. Jim quickly read the results and handed it over to his Grandmother. She took his PADD and read the letter slower, but the happiness showed on her face.

“Jim, this is wonderful. Even Sam’s results weren’t this good.”

“Are they acceptable?” Jim asked.

“More than acceptable, Jim. You tested out of high school. Heck, you tested out of the first two years of most university programs. They even gave you a list of careers you could go into,” she said handing him back his PADD.

Just as he took the PADD back, it beeped again, and this time more than one message was received.

“Jimmy?”

“I just received five new messages.”

“From who?”

“Stanford University, Oxford University, Daystrom Institute, Starfleet Academy, and the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“What do they want?” his Grandmother asked cautiously.

“They are all offering me an academic place when the new year begins.”

“That is amazing, Jim.”

“What’s amazing?” Sam and Winona said having returned from their shopping trip.

“Jim just received his test results, and five acceptance offers to start school when the new year begins,” his Grandmother replied.

“May I see?” his mother asked.

Jim handed her his PADD; she read each letter with Sam looking over her shoulder. When she was finished reading she sat down next to her son and grabbed his hand, “Jimmy this is wonderful. Which offer are you going to accept?”

Jim looked at his mother and said, “I have not had time to consider my options, yet. However, I do not think I shall be able to start when they wish me to.”

“Why not?” Sam asked.

Jim turned and looked at his brother, “I shall not have my son until October. All the offers begin sooner, except the one on Vulcan.”

“Oh, well maybe they will let you start later?” his mother said.

“Perhaps. I should send a letter to Spock he will wish to know of this new development,” Jim said standing. He was headed to the stairs when his brother asked him, “Hey, Jimmy?”

“Yes?”

“Why don’t you come out with me tonight? I’m just going to meet with some old friends, and I thought you might want to come with me?”

Jim didn’t want to, but his brother had been trying to engage him in activities outside the house. Jim knew if he went it would make his family happy and they would believe he was willing to begin socializing with others.

Smiling at his brother, Jim said, “Of course, Sam.”

“Great. I plan on leaving in about an hour.”

“I shall be ready,” Jim said as he left the room. His letter to Spock would have to wait until later.

******

“Sam, I don’t think it is a good idea for you to take Jim with you,” Winona said.

“Don’t worry Mom. I promise, nothing will happen to my baby brother. He just needs to loosen up some; he too uptight.”

Winona sighed; she wanted to object, but Jim had agreed to go, and it might be good for him to socialize with others.

******

Jim did not like where Sam had taken him. It was loud and crowded. He was uncomfortable with so many people he did not know in the same room. He was sitting on the couch sipping the soda his brother had given him when he felt the seat next to him dip with the weight of another person. He lifted his head to look at the new person and found a woman with brunet hair and big brown eyes.

“Hey, I’m Maggie. You must be Jim,” she said smiling at him. She extended her hand to him.

“Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you,” Jim replied looking at her hand as if it was a snake.

“Your brother Sam said you might be lonely,” she took her hand back.

“I am not.”

“Oh, you look kinda bored,” she said.

“I am,” Jim said.

“Well, maybe I can help with that,” she said as she ran her hand up his left thigh.

Jim grabbed her by the wrist before she went too far, and said, “I do not wish to be rude, but I would prefer that you do not touch me.”

“Sorry,” she said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for or about.”

“Well— um, it was nice talking to you,” Maggie said as she stood and left Jim alone again.

Jim sighed; he wanted to leave, but he had to wait for Sam. Jim turned when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. Sitting next to him was a man with dark hair, brown eyes, and a charming, but cruel smile. Jim had seen many men with that same smile; he knew to beware.

“Hello, gorgeous,” the man said smiling at Jim and squeezing his shoulder too hard.

“Hello,” Jim replied.

“I’m Mitch. What’s your name, beautiful?”

“Jim, and I would prefer that you do not touch me.”

“Aw, why not, beautiful?” Mitch said as he moved his hand from Jim’s shoulder to his face and gripped Jim’s jaw with his hand.

“I am not yours.”

“Well, you could be, if you wanted to be,” he said as he moved his face closer to Jim’s. Jim wanted to retch at the smell of alcohol coming from the other man’s breath. Jim grabbed Mitch’s wrist and turned his face right before the other man’s lips landed on his. The man’s grip on his chin tightened, but so did Jim’s grip on the man’s wrist.

“Come on, baby. I know you want me,” the man said.

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do, baby.”

“No, I do not. You are intoxicated.”

“Yeah. Come on, I’ll take you upstairs to one of the rooms, and I’ll fuck you until you scream my name.”

“I would rather doubt you could accomplish that in your current state,” Jim said with contempt. Jim broke the man’s hold on his chin and pushed him away. “Besides, I am currently married. I do not have a desire to be with anyone but my husband. Now, I will ask you again to leave me.”

“Damn, you’re stronger than you look.”

“Leave,” Jim said.

“Leaving,” Mitch said hastily retreating from Jim’s space.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Yes, I wish to leave, now,” Jim said angrily.

“Sure,” Sam said.

The ride home was silently filled with tension. Jim was brimming with anger but did not have an outlet to release it. Jim hadn’t been angry for nine years, and it felt good, but it also worried him. Once they entered the house, Jim stormed up the stairs and went straight into his room and lock his door. He paced his bedroom for a time before he found his PADD and read the letter from the Vulcan Science Academy. Jim smiled when he finished the message; he had a plan and a new goal. He sent a response to the Academy that he would be grateful to accept their offer of placement within the Vulcan Science Academy. He then sent Amanda and Sarek a letter requesting information regarding housing on Vulcan for himself and Sarah.

Jim was still angry; even after he had decided. He paced his room more but was unable to release any of his frustration. Looking around his room, he found an old baseball that had been his before they moved to Tarsus IV. He picked up the ball and held it in his hand while he stared at it. He felt the urge to throw the ball and break everything he could. He was just about to start throwing the ball when he felt the baby kick him hard. His anger left him almost as quickly as it had come. Dropping the ball, he placed his hand over the spot where his son had just kicked him and hummed.

“Forgive me,” Jim said to his unborn son. The baby kicked again at the sound of Jim’s voice. Jim smiled to himself; no one could take his son away from him. His anger would not advance his desire to travel to Vulcan and learn how to be the best mate for Spock. That was Jim’s ultimate goal; he had stayed on Earth to please his mother and his future husband, but he truly wished to be when he knew his mate would come to claim him. Jim unlocked his door and climbed into his bed. He kept his hand resting on his belly while he drifted off to sleep with dreams of future on Vulcan.

******

“What the hell happened, Sam?” Winona asked her oldest son.

“Two of the people at the party hit on Jim. Jim told them both no, but Mitch didn’t listen to him. He tried to kiss Jim, and Jim became angry.”

“He became angry?”

“Yeah, it was kind of awesome how Jim responded,” Sam said with a big smile on his face.

“What did Jim do?”

“I only caught part of the conversation, but Jim is apparently strong. He twisted Mitch’s arm until he relented. I’ve never seen Mitch that pale before,” Sam said. He sobered as he said, “I shouldn’t have taken him to that party. He just doesn’t fit in with my friends, and he was bored. I just wanted him to experience something other than bad things. I wanted him to know that he could have fun.”

“Maybe it was a good idea, Sam.”

“Jim getting hit on by two drunken idiots is a good thing?”

“No, but he got angry. I haven’t seen Jim angry since he got back. He has been calm and poised; it unnerved me. He should be angry about what happened to him, but he seemed to be resigned to his fate.”

“I guess. I just hope it doesn’t backfire on us,” Sam said thoughtfully.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. I don't own anything, just having fun. Comments are welcome. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in getting this finished. I had some writer's block and other stuff. Let us hope that the next chapter doesn't take so long. I promise I will finish this story.
> 
> Edited 4/16/18

Jim awoke to the beeping of his PADD and his cheek being patted by Sarah. He opened his eyes to find his daughter smiling at him.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, Mama.”

“Are you hungry?”

“No, Grandma fed me.”

“Forgive me for oversleeping.”

Sarah just smiled at her mother and hopped off the bed. She scurried out of the room before Jim could say anything else. Sarah was extremely independent, and he knew that his mother was bothered by her behavior. It was difficult for Jim to explain to his family, but Sarah had had to learn to be independent as soon as she could and with the Teldorian tradition of artificially enhancing female children she was older than her two chronological years. Jim sighed, he would have to eventually explain all the changes done to him and Sarah to Spock one day. Jim should have said something sooner, but he did not have the words for it, yet. Deciding to ignore the issue for the moment, he picked up his PADD to see who had sent him a message. There were two letters, one from Amanda and one from the VSA. He opened the VSA letter first. The letter was just a formality; it welcomed him to the VSA and informed him of his responsibilities as a student with the VSA. He opened the letter from Amanda next. Her message was far from a formality; he sat back and began to read:

 

Dear Jim,

 

It was wonderful to hear from you. Sarek and I would welcome you into our home without hesitation. I must ask, are you doing this for yourself or is this for Spock? If you are doing this because of my son, then I would be forced to decline.

Sarek and I are currently on Earth. We shall be returning to Vulcan at the end of next week. If you wish to travel with us, please contact me. If you want, I could come to Riverside and see you in person so that we could discuss this arrangement.

 

Love,

Amanda

 

Jim decided to respond to Amanda immediately:

 

Amanda,

 

I did not choose to attend the VSA entirely for Spock. It would be a lie if I said that he was not a factor in my decision, but I believe that Vulcan would be better for my recovery. I am having difficulty with humans and their need for me to conform to their ideas of how I should be recovering. However, I do not wish to give you the impression that I am having difficulties with my family. They have been most gracious in their care and concern for me, but I do not always feel comfortable with little to do during the day. I could have attended a different university on Earth; however, I believe Vulcan and Vulcans would be more to my desire for solitude and logic.

As for Spock, I would wish to learn about my future husband’s culture and family. He will be my mate for life, and I wish to learn how to be an appropriate mate for him. I shall send him a letter informing him of my decision.

I would welcome a visit from you in Riverside. Please come at your convenience.

 

Jim

 

Jim sent Amanda the message. Then he decided that it would be wise to send a message to his mate. Instead of a long letter, he informed him that he was accepting an offer to attend the VSA. He attached his test scores and his offer letters. Spock would question him on his decision, but Jim had made his decision and would not change his choice.

******

 

There was a soft knock on the front door, Jim answered it and found Amanda and Sarek on the front porch. He stepped aside and let them enter the house.

“Jim, it is good to see you,” Amanda said.

“Thank you. It is most acceptable to see you.”

Jim escorted Amanda and Sarek into the kitchen where he had tea ready for them. Deciding to take the lead, Jim said, “I wish to thank you for allowing Sarah and me to stay with you. I wish to find an appropriate home for us to live in so when Spock returns we shall have a home of our own.”

“Jim, have you spoken to Spock yet?” Amanda asked.

“No, he has yet to respond to my message.”

“Are you sure you want to move, Jim?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It is logical. The offer from the VSA fits my desire for knowledge. I wish to learn more about Spock’s people and language. I wish to establish a permanent home for our future.”

“What about your family?”

“They shall always be my family; however, it would be unwise to live for them. I must learn to live for my children and future mate.”

“But,” Amanda began.

“Wife,” Sarek said interrupting Amanda, “Jim appears to have made his decision; we shall respect it.”

“Of course, I just don’t want you to make a rash decision Jim.”

“I am not.”

“All right. What does your family think?”

“They are unhappy.”

“Jim—“

“Amanda, I must make this move for myself and my daughter. I am uncomfortable on Earth. I was isolated while on Teldor. I am happiest while I am studying or taking care of my daughter. I wish to have a house that I will turn into a home for our family.”

“Do you desire to enter the VSA to escape Earth?” Sarek questioned.

“No.”

“Do you intend to complete your studies at the VSA?”

“Of course. I would never enter a program to abandon it. I wish to learn. I enjoy learning,” Jim said affronted by the insinuation that he was going to quit once he and Spock were together.

“What course of study are you planning on choosing?” Sarek inquired.

“Languages to begin with.”

“Ambitious,” Sarek said.

“That is a wonderful choice, Jim. If you need assistance, please feel free to ask me,” Amanda said smiling at him.

“Thank you, Amanda.”

“I have made arrangements for you to travel to Vulcan with us,” Sarek said.

“That is most gracious of you, sir. I do not wish to inconvenience you. I wish to have a home to make ours, would that be possible?”

“Perhaps, in time,” Amanda said.

“Of course,” Jim said trying not to sigh in disappointment.

“The shuttle for San Francisco is scheduled to leave tomorrow morning, do you wish for us to pick you up, Jim?” Amanda asked.

“No, thank you. My family wishes to bring Sarah and me.”

“All right. Then we will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes,” Jim said as he stood and escorted Amanda and Sarek to the front door.

******

Spock reread the letter and sighed. Sighing was not Vulcan, but he figured that his human side could show in front of his friend.

“So, now what did the kid do?” Bones asked.

“He decided to accept an offer to study at the VSA. He is moving to New Vulcan and will live with my parents. He is asking if we might find a home on the planet so when I claim him, we will be able to live together.”

“He got accepted into the VSA? How the hell did he do that?” McCoy said taking a sip of his bourbon.

“He is a genius. Here, read his test scores,” Spock said handing McCoy his PADD.

McCoy was quiet while he read. When he finished, he looked at Spock and whistled, “Some impressive scores for a kid that didn’t have a formal education.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t seem to happy?”

Spock rolled his eyes at Bones, “I am neither happy nor unhappy about Jim’s intelligence.”

“Then what is the problem?”

“I was considering returning to Starfleet Academy to teach. I had thought it would give Jim and I time to become familiar with one another.”

“You’re in love with him.”

“He is my mate,” Spock said flatly.

“Don’t bullshit me, Spock. I know you better than anyone. I know when you fall for someone. What is the real problem?”

Spock sighed as he gazed into the shot glass of chocolate liquor that Bones supplied him. “Bones, we have been friends since we met. I do not have the right to ask this of you, considering our past— relationship,” Spock started.

“Spock,” McCoy said with a gruff tenderness.

“I should be with Jim.”

“Yeah, you should. But?”

“To be with him now, I must live on New Vulcan.”

“Well, yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

Spock just glared at Bones.

Bones laughed, “All right, I know what’s wrong with that, but isn’t Jim worth putting up with some stuffy Vulcans. You are one of them after all.”

Spock scornfully huffed before taking another sip of his drink. “You know how much I despise other Vulcans. Plus, they do not care for me either.”

“You sure act like them,” Bones said.

“Well, I do not desire to become an outcast. Well, more of an outcast.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Bones—“

“Wait, hear me out, darling. I know that you living among Vulcans again will be a strain on you. To be honest, I was going to transfer back to Earth to study Jim.”

“What is wrong with Jim?” Spock asked worriedly.

“Nothing. Jim is fine. I just want to study what they did to him. I want to see if I can figure out how they did it. I have his scans, but I need more detailed ones and more time to work on what I’m seeing.”

“Do you wish to replicate the procedure?”

“Why?”

“It could help a dying race repopulate.”

“You are thinking about your people?”

“Yes.”

“I doubt they would want it.”

“If it is logical, they would. It could also prevent diluting the Vulcan DNA with outsiders,” Spock said with scorn.

“What is the population distribution?”

“We are currently at sixty percent male.”

“So, they might be interested in a way for two males to have a child together.”

“Perhaps. I have heard that many males are bonding together, due to Pon Farr. If you could replicate the process, then those already bonded could have a child together.”

“It might interfere with Pon Farr,” Bones warned.

“That might be a favorable side effect,” Spock huffed as he tossed his drink back. Placing his glass on the small table in Bones’ room he stood. “I should sleep,” he said to his friend.

“Yeah. When do you want to inform Pike?”

“We are to return to Earth in six weeks; perhaps it would be wise to wait until then. Jim could change his mind regarding the VSA and wish to return to Earth.”

“We should give Pike a heads up, Spock.”

“We shall. Let us complete the current mission.”

“All right, see you tomorrow.”

“Of course. Goodnight, Bones.”

“Night, Spock,” Bones said as the door closed behind his best friend and former lover. He let his head thump back against the back of his couch; he did not know what possessed him to volunteer to move to New Vulcan. On the ship, he had others he could find companionship with, but on New Vulcan, he would only have Spock and Jim. It had been hard enough to see Spock with Uhura, but to watch him with Jim might break Leonard’s, heart. He sighed, maybe on New Vulcan he would find love, again. He laughed at the thought of him with some stuffy Vulcan female or male. He was not particular about his sex partners; they just had to have personality. He doubted he would find another Vulcan who was as personable as Spock, but he would never come between his friend and Jim. He needed sleep; sleep would clear his mind.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has left comments and kudos; I appreciate them.
> 
> Edited 4/16/18

Jim loved New Vulcan. Yes, it was hot and dry, but he enjoyed the quiet that Vulcans craved. The nine years he spent on Teldor led him to enjoy a quiet life. He had yet to start studying at the VSA, but he was scheduled to begin in a week. Before school started, Jim had time to explore the city where he now lived. Amanda and Sarek had lived near the original capital city of Vulcan before its destruction. Jim was returning from a small shopping excursion into the market when he heard his name called. Turning, he saw Sarek walking to catch up to him.

“Sarek,” Jim greeted.

“Jim, is it wise for you to travel in this manner while in your condition?”

“My physiology is not completely human. The heat does not affect me,” Jim stated.

“I see,” Sarek said.

They walked in silence until they approached a clearing designated for a new housing development. Jim stopped and stared at the location of his future house. Before Jim had left Earth, he made arrangements to receive a Federation modular home.

Sarek had stopped beside Jim, and when he noticed the wistful look on the young man’s face he asked, “Are you planning on applying for a permit to construct a home on one of these locations?”

“I already have,” Jim said turning towards Sarek. “I applied for a modular home from the Federation before I left Earth.”

“That was wise. The approval process will take months to finalize.”

“The Federation and the High Council have already approved both,” Jim said as he began walking.

“That is unusual,” Sarek said keeping the shock from his voice.

“I received the notification this morning,” Jim said shrugging.

“May I ask how you were able to obtain approvals so quickly?”

“Admiral Archer and T’Pau,” Jim said.

“I was unaware you were familiar with T’Pau.”

“I encountered her while I was exploring the city. We enjoyed tea together,” Jim said as he and Sarek entered the house.

“Who are you enjoying tea with, Jim?” Amanda asked.

“Lady T’Pau.”

“You had tea with T’Pau?” Amanda said shocked by the revelation.

“Yes,” Jim replied as he entered the kitchen and removed his purchases from his shopping bag. He began to wash the vegetables and roots he had purchased. Since arriving on New Vulcan, Jim was learning to prepare traditional Vulcan cuisine. On Teldor, he had not needed to learn food preparation, but if he was to be a proper mate for Spock, he felt the need to master cooking.

“What did you and T’Pau discuss?” Amanda asked.

“My education and the application for a plot of land in the new housing development. She is a wise woman.”

“Wait, a plot of land?”

“Yes, I applied for a modular home from the Federation and a piece of land in the new development.”

“I hope that you do not get your hopes up in having either approved soon,” Amanda said with sympathy.

“I already received approval for both.”

“How?”

“Admiral Archer and T’Pau,” Jim sighed.

“That is unusual,” Amanda said.

Jim just shrugged and returned to preparing the meal.

“Sarek, would you assist me in moving something heavy?” Amanda asked.

“Of course, wife,” Sarek replied following his wife out of the kitchen and into his small office. The house they now resided in was smaller than the house they had on Vulcan. His status as an Ambassador to Earth allowed for a small office in his home. Amanda sat behind the desk and used his terminal to contact T’Pau.

“Amanda, Sarek,” T’Pau intoned.

“T’Pau,” Amanda greeted. Sarek wisely just nodded his head in acknowledgment.

“To what do I owe this unusual call?” she asked.

“Jim Kirk.”

“An intelligent young man. I found his company acceptable.”

“You expedited his application for a plot of land in the new housing development,” Amanda said flatly.

“I did.”

“Why?”

T’Pau blinked at Amanda, “He is an asset to our people. Admiral Archer and I believe that to assist in Jim Kirk’s recovery, is the least that both the Vulcans and the Federation should do.”

“Jim is vulnerable, T’Pau,” Amanda said.

“I do not find him so, Amanda. I find he is quite capable of defending himself.”

“Has there been an incident?” Sarek asked annoyed he was not informed.

“Jim did not wish to worry either of you. He developed a unique strategy to protect himself from harm. It was inventive.”

“What happened?” Amanda asked worriedly.

“A Vulcan youth questioned his right to shop in the market. He spoke to Jim in Vulcan, and Jim responded in an ancient form of Vulcan. Needless to say, the young one could not respond; Jim and I shared tea and discussed his request.”

Amanda sighed, “Do you believe Jim moving into a home by himself is a good idea?”

“I do. Jim must learn independence. He must also learn when to ask for assistance; he cannot do that if he does not have some independence to make errors in judgment.”

“I believe you once said that to me about Spock,” Amanda said.

“I did.”

“And you were right,” Amanda sighed.

T’Pau just arched an eyebrow at Amanda as the screen when dark.

“Wife,” Sarek said extending two fingers in the traditional Vulcan kiss.

Amanda reciprocated the gesture, comforted by her husband.

******

Jim dropped Sarah off for her first official day of school. Amanda and Sarek had persuaded him to enroll Sarah in school. Her test scores were excessively high and would benefit from a Vulcan education. The opportunity was one Teldor would not have afforded her. Jim was walking to the VSA to begin his first day of instructions. He entered the VSA and located the room in which he would begin his education.

Sarek had informed him that Vulcans learned by instructional computers and followed up with debates among students and instructors. The first year at the VSA was spent in such a way as it allowed each student to study and progress at a pace suitable to them. The second year of instruction, students would begin a hybrid program of computer instruction and classroom instruction. During their third year at the VSA, students would switch to all classroom instructions. The fourth year was a student and a mentor; this relationship was a one on one direction. If the student excelled in all four years at the VSA, they would be offered a fifth year of instruction to determine if they wished to become instructors at the Academy.

Jim found an empty computer pod and took a seat. The system asked for his information, once inputted it began a slow questioning of his abilities. Over the next few hours, Jim answered the questions rapidly and accurately. He was beginning his first instructions module when Vulcan female approached him.

“This is a meal break; do you wish to join me?” she asked.

“I was beginning my first instruction module,” Jim replied.

“It will not allow for you to continue until you have eaten. I am T’Mara.”

“Jim Kirk,” he sighed.

“Do you wish to join me for a meal?” she asked again.

“That would be acceptable,” Jim said as he stood from his pod.

“It is unusual to find a human at the VSA,” T’Mara said as they walked towards another building on the campus.

“The VSA was my first choice,” Jim said as they found food. They found a table to sit at to eat their meal.

“The VSA was also my first choice,” T’Mara said. They ate in silence until T’Mara broke it, “Why did you choose the VSA? I have never heard of a human willing to endure the rigors of Vulcan for an education.”

“My future mate is Vulcan.”

“You have an intended?”

“I do, his name is Spock.”

“The Ambassador's son?”

“Ambassador Sarek’s son, Spock,” he replied.

“Interesting,” was all she said as it would be impolite to continue questioning the other student.

They returned to their pods and continued their instructions. Jim lost track of time as he worked through his lessons. He was beginning another one when his screen went dark, and T’Mara cleared her throat.

“Jim, we are finished for the day,” she said.

“Very well,” Jim said with a frown on his face.

“May I inquire about your progress today?”

“I completed three learning modules. And you?” Jim asked.

“One,” she said with annoyance in her voice. “You will be required to take exams tomorrow for each of the learning modules you completed today. If you fail them, you must relearn the module before you may progress further.”

“I am aware,” Jim said just as they were exiting the building.

“Jim,” Sarek said.

“Sarek?”

“Amanda insisted that I accompany you home as I was working late at the High Council.”

“T’Mara this is Ambassador Sarek. Ambassador this is T’Mara; we shared a meal together this afternoon.”

“T’Mara,” Sarek intoned.

“Ambassador, it is an honor to meet you. Jim, I shall take my leave now.”

“Of course, I shall see you tomorrow,” Jim said with a nod in her direction. He and Sarek made the twenty-minute trek home in relative silence.

Amanda met them at the front door with an excited Sarah. Sarah flung herself at Jim and wrapped her small arms around her mother. Jim smiled down at his daughter and gently smoothed her hair down as he waited to be released. Sarah let go and grabbed Jim’s hand, pulling him into the center of the house towards the dining area.

“I helped Grandma Amanda make dinner,” she said pointing to a chair and insisting Jim sit in it.

Jim turned and looked at Amanda, and she just shrugged saying, “She asked, and I didn’t think you would mind.”

“I do not,” Jim said turning back to his daughter he asked, “How was your day, baby?”

“It was acceptable,” she replied.

“Only acceptable?” Jim asked as he placed some food on his plate.

She looked at him and wrinkled her nose in concentration, “Vulcans do not like emotions. It would be impolite to speak of my day otherwise.”

“You are not Vulcan,” Jim replied.

“This is true. It would be illogical for me to ignore my emotions.”

“Yes, it would,” Jim said.

“But I shouldn’t speak of them too often in their presence,” she stated.

“It would be wise to control your excitement when interacting with them; however, while you are with me or Grandma Amanda you may show them more,” Jim said smiling at his daughter.

“School was fun then. I learned much,” she said beginning to eat.

“How was your day, Jim?” Amanda asked.

“It was productive.”

“Did you find it challenging?” Sarek asked.

“Yes.”

“Do not be discouraged if you are unable to work at the same pace as your peers,” Sarek consoled.

“I completed three learning modules today,” Jim said.

Sarek blinked in surprise, “That is impressive. I assume you have retained the information.”

“Yes.”

“Have you heard from Spock?” Amanda asked.

“Yes.”

“Did he mention when his next shore leave is?”

“In a month.”

“Will arrangements for travel to Earth be required?” Sarek asked.

“That will not be necessary; he will travel from Earth to New Vulcan,” Jim replied.

“Did he say how long his shore leave will last?” Amanda asked.

“He did not,” Jim said leaving Amanda with the impression that Jim was finished speaking about this topic. She changed the subject, and the four spent the rest of dinner in comfortable silence.

Later that evening, after Jim had washed the dishes and saw to Sarah’s bedtime ritual; he found himself in his room composing a letter to Spock about his first day at the VSA.

 

_Spock,_

_I wished to inform you of my first day at the VSA. I completed three modules, and I believe I may have made a friend. I am unsure if Vulcans have friends, but she asked me to share a table with her while we ate our mid-day meal. Her name is T’Mara, and I informed her of our status as intended._

_Our house shall be in place and furnished by the time of your shore leave._

_I await your return._

_Forever yours,_

_Jim_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for everyone; would you like to see Bones with a female or a male love interest? I have yet to decide on the person yet, and I would love the input. Thanks.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments.
> 
> Edited 4/16/18

Jim was busy; his work at the VSA was progressing rapidly. The house was near completion, the only thing remaining was the furniture to arrive. Sarah was improving quickly in school and had made acquaintances with her peers. Jim’s friendship with T’Mara had expanded to having tea in a café near the VSA on days they did not attend. Currently, Jim was waiting for T’Mara at the restaurant; he already had a pot of tea. It was strange that he could enjoy a hot drink on such a warm and dry planet, but the heat never bothered him. He suspected some of the genetic changes made to him while on Teldor were responsible for his adaptability to the New Vulcan climate.

“James T. Kirk,” an unknown voice said.

Jim looked up from his tea into the face of an elderly Vulcan male. Jim tilted his head and asked, “Do I know you, sir?”

“No, but I know you,” the man said.

Jim did not wish to play games, “I would ask you to leave,” he said in perfectly accented Vulcan.

The Vulcan’s eyebrow rose familiarly, and Jim had the nagging feeling he did know this person. “I did not know you could speak Vulcan.”

“I speak several dialects. Who are you?” Jim demanded.

“Forgive me I should not have intruded on you,” the elder Vulcan said as he turned and left a bewildered Jim.

“Who were you speaking to, Jim,” T’Mara asked startling Jim.

“I do not know; he refused to inform me of his name, and you are late,” he said flatly.

“Forgive my tardiness; I was meeting potential mates,” she sighed.

“You do not seem accepting of this idea.”

“It was my mother’s idea. She believes I have a duty to repopulate the species, and I accept this; however, I did not find her choices of potential mates suitable.”

“May I inquire as to why?”

“They were all too—“

“They were too what?”

“Old,” she said looking around to ensure no one heard her comments.

“Of course, I do not wish for you to marry a Vulcan unworthy of you, but do you not have a duty as a bringer of life to fulfill that responsibility?”

“Bringer of life?”

“Yes, you are capable of giving birth to a child, are you not?”

“Yes, I have never heard it stated as ‘bringer of life’ though.”

“The Teldorian people call all those who can birth children bringers of life.”

“I have never heard of the Teldorians.”

“I lived among them for nine years. They are not part of the Federation.”

“How did you come to live with them?”

“They took me from Tarsus IV. I became the mate and High Bearer to the High Prince of Teldor.”

“You were a slave?”

“Yes.”

“How were you rescued?”

“Spock and the Enterprise. My husband, the High Prince, hosted a delegation from the Federation. He died during their stay. Spock paid to remove me from the planet. He saved me from the whore houses in the south of Teldor. He saved my daughter from a life of servitude.”

“You have a daughter? How?”

“Sarah. The Teldorians genetically altered me. I am currently pregnant with a son.”

“Spock’s child?”

“No, my dead husband’s,” Jim said shaking his head.

“I grieve with thee,” T’Mara said. She did not know what more she could say to her friend.

“You are most gracious,” Jim said giving her a small smile.

“Perhaps someday I shall be allowed to meet your daughter?”

“That would be welcome. I shall make you dinner once my house is completed.” Jim’s PADD beeped then. He looked down and found a message from Spock. Looking back at T’Mara he said, “Forgive me, I must leave.”

“Yes, I must return home as well. My mother will be concerned.”

They parted ways, and Jim made his way back to Amanda and Sarek’s. Finding the house empty he went straight to his room and opened the message from Spock. Sitting on his bed, he began to read:

 

_T’hy’la,_

_It is gratifying to hear that you are succeeding at the VSA. As to your question of having friends, I do not have any objections to this subject. From your description, T’Mara would appear to be a suitable companion. I do have a concern; I do not think it wise for you to move into a home by yourself. However, if you are insistent in this action, I shall respect your decision._

_I decided to resume my former position at Starfleet Academy before I learned of your decision to attend the VSA. I do not inform you of this to encourage you to change your decision; I know that this is perhaps the best course of action for you. I am informing you of this because I wish to discuss our future once you have completed the VSA. I have decided to take a leave from Starfleet until you have finished your work at the VSA. All I ask is that when you have completed your work at the VSA that we could return to Earth so I might resume my career in Starfleet. Please consider my request as I wish this to be a mutual decision._

_Spock_

 

Jim smiled at Spock’s caution; he did not care where they lived he just wished to be together. He was about to respond to the message when his door opened, and Sarah came running in with a giant smile on her face. Jim loved to see his daughter smiling; she had not had many reasons to smile in her short life.

“You are happy,” Jim stated.

“Yes, I am at the top of my class,” she said proudly.

“You have only been attending for a few weeks,” Jim replied.

Sarah nodded as she said, “Yes, but I have already caught up with my peers.”

“Her teacher said she has never seen anything like Sarah’s progress,” Amanda said proudly from Jim’s doorway.

“Will this be a problem?” Jim asked.

“No, it just means that the other students must work harder,” Amanda said.

“May I call Grandma Winona?” Sarah asked.

Jim smiled at his daughter as he brushed the hair out of her face, “Of course you may. Here use my PADD,” he said handing her the device. She smiled at him and took the PADD and jumped off his bed leaving his room to find a quiet spot to communicate with her other Grandmother.

“She is a wonderful child, Jim,” Amanda said.

“Is she?”

“Yes, you have done an amazing job in raising her. She is not bothered by criticism or scorn. They don’t seem to penetrate her exterior.”

“Teldor,” was all Jim said.

Amanda gave him a sympathetic smile and changing the subject asked, “Do you wish to help with dinner?”

Jim just stood and nodded, following Amanda out of his room and into the kitchen.

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> Sorry for the delay in getting this finished. I hope everyone likes it.

Jim had just returned home from dropping Sarah off at school when there was a knock on his front door. Jim figured that it was Amanda again; they had only been in the house for a week, and Amanda visited every day. Jim was surprised to find the old Vulcan from the café and not Amanda.

“May I assist you?” Jim asked him.

“Hello, old friend,” the Vulcan replied.

“We are not friends.”

“Forgive me; I am Spock.”

“You are not.”

“May I,” the Vulcan asked indicating that he wished to enter Jim’s house.

Knowing that Vulcans were non-violent, Jim allowed the man into his home. “I am not helpless,” Jim stated.

“I would never assume you were,” the man said.

Jim led the older Vulcan into his kitchen and pointed towards a chair at the small table Jim kept in the room. Jim started his kettle to boil water for tea and took a seat while he waited for it to heat. He looked straight at the man claiming to be Spock and said, “You claim your name is Spock?”

“I do not claim,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“Very well, your name is Spock, and you claim we are old friends,” Jim replied flatly.

“How old are you?”

“I shall be nineteen, soon.”

“Why are you not at Starfleet Academy?”

“I do not see that is your business; however, I shall answer. I was accepted but choose to attend the VSA instead.”

“Fascinating. Many things appear different in this timeline.”

Jim stood and filled his teapot with hot water and began steeping tea leaves. He carried the pot and cups to the table. “Timeline?” he asked.

“I am Spock, but I am from the future.”

“Interesting. How did you come to be in the past?”

“You believe me?”

“Why would I not? You are Vulcan; Vulcans do not lie.”

“Do you not wish to be a starship captain?” Spock asked instead of answering Jim’s question.

“No,” Jim said as he filled two cups with tea. He handed one to Spock and took the other for himself.

“What is your preferred career?” Spock asked taking a sip of the tea.

“I do not have a career in mind; I love to learn.”

“An admirable trait; however, you must have a career in mind for your future.”

“My only ambition currently is to be a mother to my children,” he said.

Spock was grateful he had not taken a drink of tea when the young man made his statement. He looked at the younger version of his former captain and friend in disbelief, “I do not believe I heard you correctly. Did you say, mother?”

“Yes.”

“You are a male, Jim. You cannot be a mother.”

Jim sighed and put his teacup down, “I am different. I believe you are correct in saying many things are different in this timeline.”

“Would you tell me your story?”

“You called me ‘old friend’ what did you mean by that?” Jim asked instead.

“I see, quid pro quo,” Spock said smiling at the young man who just shrugged a shoulder. “Very well, in my timeline, James T. Kirk was my captain and friend. We served aboard the Enterprise for many years. We were as close as brothers.”

“He was not your mate?”

“No, we did not share a bed.”

“Did you wish too?”

“No. We had a connection, but it was not romantic. Are you and this timeline’s Spock intimate?”

“I am his intended.”

“Were you bonded as children?”

“No. What was your captain like?”

“The best captain in Starfleet. How did you and Spock meet?”

“He rescued me. Do you play chess?”

“Yes, who did he rescue you from?”

“The High Prince of Teldor. Would you care to play a game?”

“Yes, were you kidnapped by the High Prince?”

“No, I was sold to a whore house in the south of Teldor and Spock purchased my freedom. Please wait while I collect my chess set,” Jim said standing and leaving a shocked Spock behind.

******

Spock knocked on the door in front of him for the second time. He was only at this house because after two weeks of chess games with Jim he still did not know everything that had happened to the young man. He was able to piece together a story, but he wanted confirmation that he was correct. The door finally opened to reveal his mother; it was an odd sensation to see her so young.

“Hello, Mother,” he said.

“Spock,” she said warmly.

“May I enter?”

“Yes, not that I’m unhappy to see you, but may I ask why you are here?”

“Jim.”

“You have met him?”

“Yes, we have played chess for the last two weeks.”

“Jim did not mention that. Does he know who you are?”

“Yes, I would not lie to him.”

Amanda just nodded as she prepared tea for them and handed a plate of cookies to Spock. She knew he would never admit it, but they were his favorite, and she made them just in case he ever stopped by to talk. She sat down at the small table in her kitchen with a son who was old enough to be her father; it was strange.

“You appeared surprised that Jim did not mention he knew me,” Spock said.

“He usually tells me everything that is happening in his life. I wonder why he did not mention you?” she sighed.

“I cannot answer that, Mother.”

“What do you want to know, Spock?”

He raised an eyebrow at his mother’s knowledge of him, “Jim is evasive. I have gleaned a small portion of his history, but I wish to know more.”

“You do know he is Spocks intended?”

“He mentioned that,” Spock replied.

“Did you know Jim in your timeline?”

“Yes, he was my captain and friend.”

“You were not mates?”

“No, we did not share a bed. Jim was married to his career, and my captain preferred women to logical Vulcans.”

“Did you want a romantic relationship with him?”

“No, we had a mental connection, and that was enough. I learned of it when I was training to undergo kolinahr.”

“You underwent kolinahr?”

“No, I trained but was unable to complete it. My connection to Jim was too strong to break.”

“Wow, so tell me what you think you know about Jim.”

“I know his father was killed by Nero right after he was born. His mother remarried, and they moved to Tarsus IV. A race called Teldorians kidnapped him and may have altered his genetics. He has a daughter and is currently pregnant.”

“That is all true. The Teldorians abused Jim both mentally and physically.”

“I suspected. It is difficult to convince Jim to tell me what happened to him.”

“I think we all know bits and pieces of his story, but he has not told anyone the whole thing. I don’t even think Spock knows all of it.”

“The timeline has changed, but that particular characteristic of Jim seems to be the same.”

“Stubbornness,” Amanda said.

“Secretiveness.”

“Your captain was the same?”

“I did not know he was one of the Tarsus nine. He did not inform me, or Doctor McCoy until Kodos was on the Enterprise.”

“Tarsus nine?”

“In my timeline, Kodos sentenced four thousand people to death; Jim and eight others escaped and were the only ones able to identify Kodos.”

“He killed them?” Amanda asked aghast.

“So, the other’s might live.”

“I do not know what to say to that. What else do you wish to know about Jim?”

“He does not want to be a Starfleet captain,” he said with frustration.

“That upsets you.”

“It should not, but all I ever knew Jim as was a captain; even when they were promoting him, he was best as a captain.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Spock. This Jim is different; he has lived a completely different life than your captain.”

“Yes, he is. I should leave before Father returns.”

“I do not know why you avoid him; he knows you exist.”

“Father and I have had a contentious relationship. He did not approve of me joining Starfleet.”

“That didn’t change. Sarek did come around on Spock’s enlistment.”

“I—“

“You do not wish to give too much information about the future for fear of influencing it in ways that are dangerous,” Amanda said.

“The future is not yet written, Mother. Nero and I changed the timeline, and I cannot fix that, but I do not wish to alter it further by more interference. Everyone must decide on their path for the future.”

“This is true, but do not deprive yourself of familial bonds out of fear, Spock. What is, is. What will be, will be,” she said kissing him on the cheek.

“Yes, Mother. I shall take my leave now.”

“Bye, Spock,” his mother said as she closed the door.

******

Spock knocked on Jim’s front door and waited for it to open. He was not surprised to find T’Mara open it for him. She was a permanent fixture in Jim’s home since he moved into it. She did not smile at him but gave him the traditional Ta’al.

“Good afternoon, T’Mara,” he said.

“Ambassador Spock,” she replied stepping aside to let him into the house.

Spock entered the house and found Jim in the kitchen cooking.   Since coming into Jim’s life, Spock found this young version of his captain entertaining. His Jim wasn't known for his culinary skills. “Hello, Jim,” he said.

Jim turned towards the sound of Spock’s voice and gave him a beguiling smile. “Hello, Old Man,” Jim said.

“Old Man?” Spock asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I cannot call you Spock when Spock comes home.”

“Logical; however, Old Man?”

“You do not like it?” Jim asked with a pout.

“Are you feeling well, Jim?” Spock asked. Jim seemed uncharacteristically emotional; this was not a bad thing, just unusual.

“Forgive me,” Jim sighed, “I am emotional. It is normal as I come close to giving birth to my son.”

“How soon?” T’Mara asked.

“Not for a few more weeks,” he said smiling at her.

“Will Spock be here in time?” Spock asked.

“Yes, he contacted me, and he should be here in approximately seven solar days.”

“That is comforting to know,” Spock said.

“Worried you would have to take his place while I was giving birth, Old Man,” Jim said with a laugh.

“No,” Spock replied with a small smile on his lips.

“Good. Now, let us eat.”

******

Spock entered the briefing room with Bones behind him. They were meeting with Pike and Archer to discuss their futures in Starfleet.

“Admiral, Captain,” they said in unison as they stood at attention.

“Commander, Lieutenant Commander,” they greeted in return.

“Sit, gentlemen,” Archer said.

“Thank you for meeting with us,” Spock began, “I wish to ask for a leave of absence from my duties in Starfleet, sir.”

“Is this about Jim?” Pike asked.

“Yes, I originally planned on seeking a position at Starfleet Academy; however, Jim moved to New Vulcan to attend the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“How long do you think this absence will be?” Archer asked.

“Three to four years,” Spock said trying not to wince.

“The best I can offer is inactive duty until you can return to Starfleet,” Archer offered.

“Very well,” Spock said.

“Now, why are you here McCoy?” Pike asked.

“I came to ask for reassignment to New Vulcan.”

“I thought you were with Jim, Spock?” Archer quipped.

“I am, Admiral,” Spock retorted back.

“Then why do you want to be reassigned to New Vulcan, McCoy?” Archer asked.

“I want to work on the Vulcan population problem.”

“They have a population problem?” Pike asked.

“Yes, there aren’t as many women as are needed to repopulate the species,” Archer said.  

“Yeah,” McCoy said surprised.

“They have artificial wombs,” Archer replied.

“The artificial wombs success rate is low. I have an idea for another technique, but it could be controversial.”

“Controversial?” Pike asked.

“It would involve the technique that the Teldorians used on Jim. I want to study him more to see if I can replicate the process to help the Vulcans.”

“You want to create males capable of getting pregnant?” Pike asked angerly.

“Not without their permission, Sir. If they refuse the idea, I can still work on improving the artificial womb.”

“And you can’t research the Enterprise?” Pike questions.

“No, Sir. I don’t have time on board the ship,” McCoy said.

“Very well,” Archer began, “McCoy you will still be an active member of Starfleet. I’ll speak to T’Pau about you working with the Vulcan scientists in helping with repopulation. Spock, you will be inactive until you decide to return to service. I have a feeling that you will not want to return to a position on board a ship when you do return.”

“Thank you, Sir. You are correct; I would not wish for a long-term ship posting,” Spock said.

Archer nodded, “the Enterprise has a mission to New Vulcan, so the two of you can hitch a ride with the ship.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Spock and Bones said together.

“Dismissed,” Archer said.

As soon as the door closed on them, Bones turned to Spock and asked, “So what next? Back to the ship?”

“No, I wish to purchase an item for Jim.”

“Alone?”

“I’ve been considering asking Jim to marry me,” Spock said.

“Okay, two things here; one you must be flustered because you used a contraction, and two aren’t you already married?”

Spock rolled his eyes at Bones, “I meant I wished to marry Jim in the human tradition.”

“Ah, okay, well then you want to get a ring for him?”

“Yes, and myself.”

“This is serious,” Bones whistled.

“Bones, I,” Spock started.

“Spock,” Bones interrupted, “I get it, okay. You are falling in love with Jim, and you want to make this thing work between the two of you. I do not begrudge you this, my friend.”

Spock extended two fingers to Bones, but Bones said, “don’t. Save that for Jim. Come one, let’s go look at rings for you and your mate,” he said slapping Spock on the back.

“Thank you,” Spock whispered as he walked out of the building next to Bones.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> Edited 4/16/18

Jim entered his house after a long day at the VSA; he was tired and was grateful that Amanda had retrieved Sarah from school earlier in the day. He was shocked to find Spock, his Spock, sitting on the couch instead of Amanda. He smiled at his mate and quickly approached him; sitting down on his lap he wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

“You didn’t tell me you would be here today,” Jim admonished.

“I wished to surprise you,” Spock replied.

“I am glad. Where is Sarah?”

“With my parents. I requested my mother watch her overnight. I wished to speak to you, alone.”

“Why?” Jim asked warily. Jim moved from Spock’s lap and began to enter the kitchen.  

Spock could feel the uneasiness radiating from Jim. Moving closer to his mate; he took Jim’s hand in his, and brought it to his lips, he gently kissed it. “Jim, please do not worry,” he said.

“Do you wish to eat?” Jim asked deflecting his fear.

“Later,” he said taking Jim into his arms and kissing him passionately on the lips.

Jim melted into Spock and moaned as his mate plundered his mouth. Losing himself in the kiss, Jim moved closer to his mate until his belly was pushing into Spock. The baby kicked, startling Spock and Jim apart.

“Forgive me, Jim. I should not have kissed you like that,” he said apologetically.

Frustrated, Jim snapped, “I am not fragile, Spock.”

“Jim—“

“No, I waited for months to have you with me, and when we are alone you push me away,” Jim shouted at Spock.

“Jim!” Spock barked.

Taking a deep breath, Jim murmured, “Forgive me. I should not have yelled.”

“I am not upset. I am concerned for your safety and health.”

“My health is fine, Spock.”

“You seem quite emotional,” Spock said unsure of Jim’s mental stability.

Jim smiled at Spock, “My emotional state is normal for a bearer who is near delivering a child.”

“I see,” Spock said.

Jim sighed, “Spock if we are to make our relationship work, you must not push me away.”

“I do not mean to push you away; I do not wish to ask more of you than you are ready to give.”

“Very well, perhaps you should inform me of what you wish to speak about,” Jim said.

“May we sit?”

Jim nodded and followed Spock to the couch. He sat down on Spock’s lap again wanting to be close to his mate. “I missed you,” Jim whispered to Spock.

“As did I, ashal-veh.”

“Talk,” Jim said.

“I was granted a leave from Starfleet.”

“For how long?”

“My active status in Starfleet is currently inactive until I am ready to return to duty.”

“Why?”

“Because I wish to spend time with you and the children,” Spock said pulling Jim closer to him.

“Oh,” Jim said.

“You sound surprised that I would wish to spend time with you,” Spock stated.

“You— you want to—“ Jim started.

“I wish to learn about you, Jim.”

“That would be nice.”

“There is more, Jim. I would like to return to Starfleet in the future. I am willing to take a position at Starfleet Academy instead of on a ship, but I wish to return to my career someday.”

“We could do that now if you wish,” Jim offered.

“No, you are achieving excellent praise for your skills at the VSA; I would not wish to interfere with that,” Spock retorted.

“I only came to New Vulcan to learn more about your people and culture.”

“I thought that was the case; however, I believe you have come to like it here.”

“Yes, I have friends,” Jim said. “I have never had friends,” Jim said a little sadly.

“I am gratified for your friends. Jim, Leonard has come to New Vulcan as well.”

“Why?” Jim asked burying his face in Spock’s neck. He enjoyed the musky scent of his mate.

“You might be the key to fixing a problem with the Vulcan population.”

“Me?”

“Your— genetic changes might help my people not become extinct.”

“It has— side effects,” Jim said wincing.

“My people may decide it is logical to accept the side effects instead of extinction,” Spock said. “You could help Leonard in his research.”

“If you ask me too, I will. Are you hungry?”

“Yes,” Spock said picking Jim up and carrying him away from the couch, “But not for food,” he continued.

******

Jim awoke and stretched. He rolled over to find the bed empty and cold. He sighed and left the bed in search of Spock. He found him sitting at the small table in the kitchen with a cup of tea.

“Is there enough for two?” Jim asked.

Spock looked up from blindly staring into the teacup. “Yes, please sit while I prepare it for you.”

Jim sat and smiled as Spock moved around the small kitchen in their home. “I awoke alone,” he said.

Spock placed the cup of tea in front of Jim and retook his seat, “I should not have done that. Forgive me.”

“Spock, I have never had a real relationship. Honestly, I am not certain I even know what a relationship should entail, but I am trying to be the best mate for you. If I have done something wrong, please inform me; I will endeavor to do better.”

“Are you happy, Jim?” Spock asked.

Jim blinked at him, “I—“

“Are you happy that we are mates, Jim? Do you wish a different mate?” Spock asked quickly.

“Why would I wish a different mate? I would have stayed on Teldor had I not wanted you.”

Spock’s eyebrow arched in question.

Jim shrugged, “I could have requested to stay on Teldor, Spock. They would have let me but when you told me to pack; I did. I only cared that you would protect Sarah from the horrible life she was destined for on Teldor. That you rescued me was just a bonus,” he finished and smiled at Spock.

“Marry me?” Spock asked.

“Are we not already married?” Jim asked in return.

“Marry me in the ‘human way,” Spock said more calmly.

“If you wish,” Jim replied.

“I purchased this for you,” Spock said pulling a small black ring box from his robe pocket. He placed the box on the table in front of Jim and waited for him to open it up.

Jim opened the box and found a solid black ring inlaid with blue sapphires; removing the ring from the box, Jim inspected it. On the inside of the ring, Spock had the word T’hy’la engraved in Vulcan script. “When do you wish to marry?”

“Today.”

“Today?”

“Yes, before the Enterprise leaves. Captain Pike has agreed to perform the ceremony onboard the ship.”

“All right,” Jim said nervously.

“You do not sound happy?”

“I don’t have anything to wear, Spock. If I had had time, I would have made something for the occasion.”

“You may wear whatever you wish, Ashaya.”

“Thank you,” Jim said smiling at Spock. “You should contact your mother; she will be angry if she is not present at the wedding.”

“Logical.”

“I will prepare myself,” Jim said leaving the room.

Spock found the terminal and contacted his mother. When she appeared on the screen, he said, “Mother, I have a favor to ask.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. Pseudo science abound in this chapter. It kind of took on a life of its own and ran away with me. I want to say wow and thanks to all those who have left comments and kudos. I am surprised at how well this story has been received. Writing this story is helping take my mind off of depressing personal life stuff, so again, thanks, I hope you all enjoy this latest update.

Jim was alone on the observation deck of the Enterprise after Spock escorted him into the room. The observation room was Jim’s favorite on the ship. He was staring out the window that allowed him a perfect view of New Vulcan. He had only seen the planet from orbit once when they had arrived months before. He turned when the hissing sound signified the doors opening to the room. He found Amanda watching him; she looked annoyed. “Amanda?” he questioned.

“Your mother isn’t happy,” she said flatly.

“I know this.”

“Why couldn’t you and Spock wait until they can arrive here?”

“Spock wished for the ceremony to take place on the Enterprise.”

“Bull.”

Jim ducked his head, “The ceremony should take place before the baby is born. If we were to wait for my family to arrive, it would be too late.”

“I don’t understand?”

Jim sighed, “I cannot explain my reason for wanting this to happen now.”

“Try,” she demanded.

“It is a tradition, and I cannot explain my reasons to you right now,” he said pointing to his head.

“This has something to do with what happened to you on Teldor?”

He nodded.

“Will you be able to explain after the ceremony is over with?”

“Yes. I must also ask that you do not interfere with anything that happens after Captain Pike finishes the human ceremony.”

“All right, but you will explain after,” she demanded.

“Yes,” Jim said as the door to the room opened, and T’Mara and the Old Man entered. Jim smiled and raised his hand in the Ta’al, greeting his friends.

“It is a pleasure to see you, Jim,” Spock Prime said.

“I am grateful that you could come, Old Man.”

“Old Man?” Amanda asked.

“I couldn't call them both Spock,” Jim said shrugging.

“Old Man,” Amanda snickered.

Spock Prime just lifted an eyebrow at his mother.

“What? It’s cute,” she said smiling at him.

Spock’s lips twitched up in the smallest hint of a smile.

The door to the observation deck hissed open again, and Nyota, Leonard, and Pike entered the room.

“Hey, kid,” Leonard said.

“Jim,” Pike said.

Nyota stood stiff and awkward next to Leonard. She looked frightened to Jim. He walked to her and gave her a giant hug startling the woman. He whispered into her ear, “I am sorry.”

She pulled away after returning the hug and said, “don’t be. It was for the best.”

“Will you be staying for the ceremony?” Jim asked.

“If you don’t mind.”

“I do not. I request that you and T’Mara stand next to me.”

“Of course,” Nyota said.

“If that is your wish,” T’Mara replied.

Before more could be said, Sarek, Spock, and Sarah entered the room. Turning to Amanda, Jim said, “you promise not to interfere. Please ensure that no one else interferes either.”

“You promise to explain afterward?”

“Yes,” he said solemnly.

“I promise.”

Jim nodded and turned to stand across from Spock. Pike took his place in front of Jim and Spock with his back to the large observation window overlooking the planet.

“We are gathered together today to join Spock, son of Amanda Grayson and Sarek of Vulcan to James T. Kirk. It is the privilege of every starship captain to preside over the joining of two people in matrimony. Have either of you written vows you wish to recite?” Pike asked.

Jim and Spock both shook their heads.

“All right, let’s begin. Assembled family and friends, we gather to share in Jim and Spock’s special day. Marriage is a long-held tradition on Earth. When two people seek to enter into matrimony, they do so with the knowledge that they are taking on the other’s burdens, but they also take on the other’s joy and happiness. Are there any objections to this marriage?”

The room was silent.

Pike continued,” Jim, do you take Spock to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

“I will,” Jim said.

Pike turned to Spock and said,” Spock, do take Jim to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

“I will.”

“Spock, please repeat after me: I, Spock, take you Jim to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.”

“I, Spock, take you Jim to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part,” Spock said slipping the ring onto Jim’s finger.

“Jim, please repeat after me: I, Jim take you Spock to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.”

Jim repeated the words and slipped the ring onto Spock’s finger.

“I now pronounce you married. You may share a kiss,” Pike said.

Jim held out two fingers to Spock, and they shared a traditional Vulcan kiss to the cheers of their family and friends.

Sarah pulled away from Amanda and Sarek and approached Jim and Spock. She looked at her mother and asked, “are you ready?”

“I am,” he replied.

Sarah moved to where Pike was standing and started to speak in a tone unfamiliar to a child, “in the time of old, Bearers were revered as givers of life. You must make a choice, Bearer. If you choose to make this man your mate for life kneel before him.”

Jim knelt gracefully before Spock.

“Jim?” Spock questioned.

“He will not answer until the ritual is complete,” Sarah said.

“Spock, Jim asked that we not interfere. He did promise to explain once this was over with,” Amanda said.

“A Bearer is a great gift. He should be cherished as he will bring you great joy and many blessings. He shall provide you with many children to carry on your legacy. He will care for you and your children; he will learn all that you demand of him. The bond between a Bearer and a mate is a sacred duty. Know this, Spock, if you choose to bond with the Bearer, it will be for life. A bond once made, can only be broken by death. If you choose not to accept the Bearer’s gift of a bond; know this, he shall stay, but he shall never truly be yours. He shall always search for his missing bond. His bond guarantees his happiness and contentment. Do you accept this gift he is bestowing on you?” Sarah finished.

“What type of bond is he offering me?” Spock asked.

“A chemical bond. Know this, Spock, the bond will not work if he is not freely gifting it to you. Do you accept this gift he is bestowing on you?”

“Yes.”

“Place your hand on the back of the Bearer’s neck,” she instructed.

Spock did as instructed. A tingling sensation traveled into his palm almost startling him.

“The ritual is complete,” said Sarah as she fainted.

“Bones,” Spock said.

“I’m on it,” Bones replied. He was already hovering over the girl with his tricorder out scanning her.

Jim rose from his knees and moved to his daughter’s side. He carefully brushed her hair away from her face and smiled at her. “She shall be fine. She is just exhausted from the ritual.”

“Why the hell did you let her do this if you knew it would exhaust her?” Bones demanded angrily.

“Spock?” Jim said nodding towards Sarah.

Spock knelt and picked the child up. He carried her to the couch where Jim took a seat and let Spock lay Sarah down with her head in Jim’s lap.

“I am also curious as to your actions Jim,” Spock said.

“Sarah understood her actions. You think of her as a child, but she is much more than a simple child.”

“She is highly intelligent; however, she is still only a child,” Sarek said.

“A child that had her mind and her genes manipulated from birth. The knowledge of the ritual was downloaded into her brain when she was a baby.”

“Why did you not mention the ritual before, Jim?” Spock asked.

“I could not.”

“You would not,” Spock Prime voiced.

“I could not,” Jim said stubbornly.

“What was the ritual for, Jim?” Pike asked.

“The scientists on Teldor were trying to recreate the Teldorian female mating process. Teldorian females produce a chemical substance that binds them to a mate for life. When they created the Bearer gender, they genetically altered them to produce the same chemical. A Bearer is not complete without a mate. The ritual is our way of giving ourselves freely to our mates. When my husband died, I was now free to choose a new mate.”

“Why would they want to recreate the female mating bond? What purpose does it serve?” McCoy wondered.

“To ensure that any children created will not be rejected,” Jim stated.

“What?” McCoy questioned.

“Teldornia males commonly reject their children. I am not certain of the history, but the chemical bond ensures a paternal response from the fathers. Many males will not bond with their Bearer until the child's sex is determined.”

“Jim?”

“He rejected my offer of a bond when we married. He did not accept it until the baby’s sex was determined to be a boy,” Jim said recognizing the horror on the faces of his friends and family. He sighed as he continued, “I chose to bond with him to protect my child and myself. If I had not, he would have sent me away. And contrary to what you believe, I do not hate him. I did not hate him then, and I cannot bring myself to hate him now. I know I should, but at the time he completed me. You complete me now, Spock.”

“I do not wish to complete you, Jim. I wish to be a partner and mate in an equal relationship.”

“Spock, that will never happen. There will be times that I compromise for you, and times that you will compromise for me. You are compromising for me right now by leaving your career and living on New Vulcan. I will compromise with you when we return to Earth, so you may resume your career. That is what our marriage shall be; a million agreements and a million compromises. The chemical bonding allows a Bearer insight into their new mate; this only occurs during the bonding process. I am not telepathic or empathic. A bonding reconfigures the neurological pathways to conform to the Bearer’s new mate’s preferences.”

“I,” Spock said in distress; Jim’s words, his acceptance of his situation nearly broke Spock’s, heart.

“Spock,” Jim said as he stood. He waddled to stand in front of his new mate and husband. Taking Spock’s hands in his, he vowed, “I shall be by your side in all our endeavors. I shall care for you; love you and provide you with many healthy children. I shall accept your eccentricities, and request that you accept mine. Perhaps you might even find a few new quirks you didn’t know you had. Above all, I shall be your T’hy’la.”

Spock’s eyes widened when Jim mentioned quirks; clearing his throat before he spoke, “Jim, I shall be by your side in all our endeavors. I shall care for you; love you and assist in providing you with many healthy children. I shall accept your eccentricities, and request that you accept mine. Above all, I shall be your T’hy’la.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought Jim and Spock back to the reality that others were watching them. They turned and looked to find the human women misty-eyed and the men looking uncomfortable. Before either Jim or Spock could speak, Bones piped up, “Maybe you two should go get a room.”

“Bones,” Spock nearly whined. Jim blushed and attractive pink in embarrassment.

“Don’t think I don’t know what is going through your head, my friend,” Bones snorted. “Why don’t you two mosey on out of here and start your honeymoon. Don’t worry about Sarah; I think that I can handle her.”

“Leonard is right, Sarah will be fine with us,” Amanda piped up.

This time Jim and Spock both blushed, causing Amanda and Nyota to remark, “That is just too cute.”

Jim and Spock hightailed out of the observation deck before they could be embarrassed more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the slightly unromantic wedding part. I'm not really fond of writing weddings, but it was necessary for the second half of the chapter to work.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be just a small honeymoon diversion but it got away from me. 
> 
> This chapter explains more about Jim's past on Teldor and his relationship with this first husband. I am not trying to minimize the abuse Jim suffered or to say that abuse is acceptable, but I did want to say that Jim's perspective is his perspective. I promise that Spock is not going to become abusive to Jim. Sorry, if this doesn't make any sense.

Jim and Spock entered their house both caught up in their thoughts. They had not spoken on the short walk from the observation deck to the transporter room. They were transported directly in front of the house, and once inside, Jim turned to Spock and asked, “Are you upset with me?”

“Why would I be upset with you, Jim?”

“I did not tell you everything.”

“No, you did not; however, I believe you are still recovering from your trauma, and you are still uncertain of my regard for you.”

“Are you telling me that my issues have issues?” Jim joked.

“Perhaps,” Spock said as he approached Jim. He raised his left hand to Jim’s face and gently stroked it. Lowering his lips to Jim’s, they kissed slowly. Spock encouraged Jim to part his lips, Jim did so without resistance. Spock’s tongue found Jim’s and they tangled for dominance; Spock won.

Jim moaned into Spock’s mouth; pulling away to breathe, he begged, “Please.”

Scooping Jim up into his arms, Spock moved them towards their bedroom. “Spock, I can walk. We are not in a romance novel,” Jim laughed.

Spock blushed and put Jim’s feet back on the floor, “Forgive me, Jim.”

“Nothing to forgive.” Jim took hold of Spock’s hand and pulled him towards their bedroom. Once inside, Jim dropped Spock's hand and began to strip his clothing off, neatly folding them and placing the clothing on his dresser. Jim crawled onto the bed, putting himself on his hands and knees. He expected Spock to join him, but he didn’t feel the bed dip.

“Jim,” Spock said.

Jim sighed and turned to face his mate. “Yes?” he questioned.

“I would,” Spock started but was interrupted by Jim.

“Spock, it is either this or on my side.”  

“Jim.”

“What?” Jim snapped surprising himself and Spock.

“I do not wish for you to have a flashback, Jim.”

Jim flopped onto his side and smiled at Spock, “You’re sweet, but I will not have a flashback. Please come to bed and make love to me,” Jim pleaded trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

“Yes, I should,” he started.

“You should come here and make love to me. We do not need anything, I promise.”

Spock climbed onto the bed after stripping his clothes off and tossing them on the floor. He wanted to roll Jim onto his back and kiss him while they make love, but he realized that Jim was correct that this position would be for the best right now. He moved in closer to Jim and placed one hand on Jim’s belly as his mate shifted his leg for better access. Spock was surprised when Jim took his hand and placed in on his genitals. Jim encouraged Spock to fondle his genitals; this action caused a moan to escape Jim’s lips. Spock continued to caress Jim but quickly realized Jim was not hardening. “Jim?” he asked.

“More,” Jim moaned.

“Jim, you are not hard,” Spock stated flatly.

“And I will not ever be hard, Spock. I cannot have an erection; I am not capable of having erections as a Bearer.”

“I wish for you to experience pleasure as well, Jim.”

“In this, I am more akin to a woman. Your gentle fondling will arouse me, T’hy’la.”

“I see,” Spock said. He decided to take Jim at his word and began his fondling again. Jim’s moans became louder and louder with every minute. Spock wanted Jim but was cautious as he shifted closer to him. As he pushed his cock near Jim’s passage, he discovered that Jim was already slick. It was surprisingly easy to push into Jim gently. As he slipped into Jim, he allowed a moan slip from his lips. Spock had never felt anything like this before; it was perfect. He began to thrust into Jim with a steady rhythm causing his mate to cry out in pleasure. “Is this what you wanted, Jim?” he asked breathlessly.

Jim could barely answer as he was in bliss. He had missed having his mate use him in this way. “Yes!” Jim shouted as Spock’s thrust hit the perfect spot. The tension was building inside Jim; he knew he was close and by Spock’s erratic thrusting he was confident that his mate was close as well. Jim grabbed Spock’s hand and transferred it to his face. “Meld with me, Spock,” Jim said breathlessly.

Spock was shocked when Jim asked to meld; they had yet to share a mind meld. Spock wanted that connection with Jim as they climaxed; adjusting his fingers into the right formation, Spock easily slipped into Jim’s mind. Their minds connected immediately, and for a moment in time they were one; they knew each other’s darkest secrets and greatest joys.        

******

Spock awoke to a wet, warm something wrapped around his cock. He opened his eyes and found Jim between his legs with his head bobbing up and down. “Jim?” Spock asked. When he did not receive a response, he flopped his head back on his pillow and enjoyed Jim’s ministrations. He came all too quickly.

“Good morning,” Jim said as he crawled up Spock’s body until they were face to face.

“Indeed,” Spock said pulling Jim into a deep kiss. He tasted himself as he kissed Jim; his arousal began to peak again, surprising him.

“You wish to be inside me again, don’t you?” Jim asked.

“Yes,” Spock growled.

“So, put me on my hands and knees and take me,” Jim said dipping his eyes coyly.

Spock paused for a moment, before complying with Jim’s suggestion. Easily manhandling Jim into the correct position, Spock quickly found himself buried deep inside his mate. He did not take the time to think that perhaps he had a new kink. Spock thrust in and out of Jim’s body erratically, again coming all too soon. Panting, he pulled carefully from Jim’s body. Flopping down on the bed, he pulled Jim down with him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck he said, “Forgive me, Jim.”

“For what, my husband?” Jim asked.

“Do not say that,” Spock expressed angrily.

“Are you not my husband?” Jim asked.

“Yes; however, it reminds me of when you were on that planet,” Spock spat.

Jim wiggled until he was facing Spock; looking at his mate he stated, “You should meditate to regain control of your emotions, Spock. You are angry.”

“I am not,” Spock replied.

“Do you want me again?” Jim asked seductively.

“Yes,” Spock growled.

“Then take me,” Jim said rolling onto his back and spreading his legs in an invitation to Spock.

Before Spock could stop himself, he was thrusting into his husband with abandon. He played with Jim, enjoying the moans and groans he elicited. They shook as they came together. Spock pulled from Jim’s body shaking his head in confusion.

Jim sat up and touched Spock’s face gently, whispering, “Do not fight it, my love. Accept it for the gift it is intended to be, Spock.” Jim could tell Spock was fighting against his desire, “What do you wish to do to me, my love?”

“Spank you,” Spock snarled.

“Please,” Jim said going on his hands and knees without hesitation.

Spock began to swat Jim’s ass with differing intensity. Jim groaned and moaned with wild abandon ratcheting up Spock’s already building arousal. After fifteen swats, Spock stopped and found himself pushing his sensitive fingers into Jim’s passage. He fucked Jim with his fingers until Jim cried out begging to come; begging to have Spock inside him again. He pulled his fingers from Jim’s passage and replaced it with his cock; taking his time bringing them both to completion.  

******

Spock awoke this time to a dressed Jim, wiping his brow with a cool damp cloth, the cloth felt good against his forehead; his head ached. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Jim.

“Hush, sit and drink this; it will alleviate your headache, my love.”

Spock did as Jim requested and drank the tepid drink Jim offered him. He lifted one eyebrow in Jim’s direction as his headache was alleviated. “Thank you,” he said, “Now, will you please explain what happened earlier?”

“You are angry,” Jim stated flatly.

“No, I am confused and concerned, Jim.”

“If I had explained beforehand you would not have allowed it.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you have not wanted to touch me since we met, Spock. You treat me like I am delicate.”

“Jim,” Spock started.

“Will you allow me to explain and not interrupt?” Jim requested.

“Very well.”

“A Bearer is a gift. We were meant to be a gift from the earliest days of our creation. The first Bearers were trusted and respected companions; they were not slaves. When a Bearer bonds with their mate, the bond creates heightened arousal in both parties. The best description is a mini Pon Farr; it is required for the bond to complete. It shall not happen again until we wish to have another child. Normally, the first encounter would result in a child but since I am already carrying a child,” Jim said shrugging.

“That does not explain why I was so aggressive with you. I would never have spanked you, Jim.”

“I liked it, Spock,” Jim said shyly. “May I tell you a story?” he asked.

“Will it explain our situation?”

“Yes.”

“Please.”

“I was taken from Tarsus IV and placed in a suite of rooms by myself. My only company was my future husband’s father. He was a sadistic man; he enjoyed terrified me and using the machine on me. The device altered my brain pathways. It was also a teaching device; it taught me many disturbing things. No one touched me inappropriately, but I knew what would happen to me when I came of age. I met my husband when I was sixteen; he was sweet. The man you met was not the man I first knew; he changed. We had four good months together and then we found out I was pregnant with a girl; his father was disappointed. We both suffered for it; I tried to escape when I felt my heart begin to break. They caught me and publicly punished me for my transgression. My husband had just come to power and needed to show his strength; he could not seem weak or ruled by his Bearer. Two years later, he wished to try for another child; this time it was a boy. We bonded, and I began to see a slow change in him. He allowed me to see Sarah more; he even allowed me to escort the Enterprise crew around the palace. I believed him when he spoke of behaving kinder to me in the future; then they killed him.”

“You loved him,” Spock said trying to control his jealousy.

“Yes. The boy I fell in love with was sweet. He brought me flowers, took me for walks in the garden in the moonlight. He was romantic; he loved poetry and would read to me for hours. He was gentle when we made love; he changed after he killed his father,” Jim said sadly, tears slipping from his eyes.

Spock wiped away the tears from Jim’s eyes and gently placed a kiss on each closed eye. “I wish you had explained this sooner, Jim. I will never forgive him for harming you.”

“I understand Spock; however, he was my first love. I can no more change how I feel about him than you can about Leonard,” Jim said with a small smile.

“Jim, I,” Spock started.

“He was your first, and you still care for him,” Jim said shrugging.

Spock closed his eyes and nodded.

“Will you tell me what occurred?”

“We met at the Academy. I did not fit on Vulcan, and I did not fit on Earth; Bones was accepting. We were roommates and found things in common. We fell in love while we argued over who would cook and clean. It was an illogical argument as neither of us can cook. Our relationship ended after we graduated.”

“Why?”

“We wanted different things.”

“Spock?”

“I wished to bond with him in the Vulcan way; he did not.”

“He did not want to marry you?”

“He wanted to marry me, just not in the Vulcan way.”

“He did not want a telepathic connection?” Jim asked.

“Yes, Bones is wary of Vulcan voodoo, as he calls it.”

“Do you still want him?” Jim asked with no jealousy in his voice.

“He is my best friend, and I still love him; I am not in love with him, though.”

“That does not answer my question, Spock. Do you still want him?”

“No, I am married to you, Jim. I would never commit adultery, Jim.”

“Wanting and having are two different things, Spock,” Jim stated.

“If you had not come into my life, yes.”

“Thank you,” Jim said kissing Spock.

“For what, Jim?”

“Telling me the truth. I should warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Bearers become territorial during and shortly after giving birth. It would be wise to keep Leonard and the others away from me during this time. I will only accept you and Sarah; however, I believe it would be best for Sarah to stay with your parents during the birth. I want her back after the baby is born, though.”

“Jim, you are giving birth in the hospital.”

“Spock, that is not wise. I could try and hurt someone if they interfere while I give birth. It is a defense against harm to our children by those who would kill them.”

“Why would someone want to kill a baby?”

“Teldorian’s are known for killing their rivals to advance. We are vulnerable while giving birth; a rival could kill our mate and then our child, leaving us free to be taken.”

“You said that Bearers were not originally slaves.”

“That is true. A Female Teldorians evolved to protect her children and themselves from rivals. When the Teldorian people lived in caves and small tribes the danger was greater. Bearers are like the female Teldorians once were. As I said, there are consequences to becoming a Bearer.”

“Have you spoken to Bones about this?”

“No. I have spoken to T’Pau and informed her of the changes done to me.”

“You should speak to Bones about this, Jim.”

“If you wish. Now, you should shower while I prepare dinner for us,” Jim said standing and exiting the room.

Spock shook his head at his mate's ability to change the subject when he did not wish to discuss something. Jim would hound him for an answer but when Jim did not want to speak of something he would leave the room; they would have to work on this issue Spock thought as he entered the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone think that Jim was a bit of a tease?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

Jim paced the room like a caged animal. Spock had sent everyone in the house away when he determined that Jim was in labor. Bones was not happy but had acquiesced when Jim had thrown a vase at his head. Spock had tried to help Jim, but his mate just growled at him and told him to wait. Spock wisely decided to read a book while he waited for Jim to inform him of his requirements. Spock was startled from his reading when Jim snarled, “Now.” Spock gazed at his husband and concluding that it would be logical to follow Jim, he did so.

An hour later, Spock was cleaning a newborn baby boy and wrapping him in a blanket to hand to Jim. Jim was sweaty and tired, but awake and eager to hold their son. He placed the child in Jim’s outstretched arms and began to clean his mate. When Spock finished this task, he covered Jim with a blanket and sat outstretched next to him with his back propped against the headrest on the bed. Jim shifted so he was sitting between Spock’s legs and could lean his back against him. Taking the invitation, Spock wrapped his arms around Jim and lightly kissed the side of his head.

“Thank you, for this, Spock.”

“I did nothing, Jim.”

“You have let me keep my— our son. You have allowed me to keep and raise my daughter.”

“Jim, I did not let or allow you anything. It is your right to keep and raise your children.”

“I understand, Spock. What I meant was by rescuing me, you saved me from losing them; so, thank you,” Jim said turning to brush a kiss on Spock’s cheek.

“I cherish thee, Jim. And it is our daughter.”

“I love you, too. Sarah will be happy to hear that. She wanted to know if she should call you Sa-mekh or father.”

“Sa-mekh is acceptable,” Spock said trying to keep the happiness from his voice.

“Spock, you do not need to hide your emotions from me; I know you have them. I understand that Vulcans suppress their emotions, but you try to integrate them into your daily life; do not hide them from me.”

“I will try not to, Jim. I should contact my mother.”

“Yes, we should, but first please hand me my PADD. I promised I would contact my family once he was born.”

“Have you chosen a name?”

“Theodore Kirk,” Jim said gently stroking the boy’s chubby cheek.

“Interesting choice.”

“It means divine gift.”

“Jim,” Spock started, but Jim just shrugged and pointed to his PADD. Spock handed it to his mate and watched as Jim quickly made a connection to his mother’s home in Iowa. Jim’s mother appeared on the small screen with a giant smile on her face.

“Jim!”

“Mom, I promised I would contact you after he was born.”

“Let me see,” Winona demanded.

Jim shifted to allow her to see the baby. Winona illogically cooed and awed at the child; something Spock was resisting temptation in doing as well.

“Details, Jim,” Winona ordered.

“His name is Theodore Kirk, and he was born nearly an hour ago, you are the first to see him,” Jim said smiling down at the baby in his arms.

“Jim,” his mother said in exasperation. “I want to know how big he is.”

“I do not know, yet,” Jim replied.

“What? Where is the doctor who delivered him?”

“There wasn’t a doctor, Mom. I had him at our home, with only Spock in attendance.”

“What? Was that Spock’s idea?”

“No, it was mine, Mom,” Jim huffed. “Bearers are dangerous when giving birth. I threw a vase at Leonard’s head when he didn’t want to leave my house before Theodore was born.”

“You threw a vase at your doctor?” Winona sounded shocked by Jim’s behavior.

“He wouldn’t leave,” Jim said shrugging.

“So, when am I going to meet my grandson in person,” Winona said wisely changing the subject.

“Could you wait a month to visit?” Jim asked.

“Why?”

“I won’t want to throw things at people in about a month,” Jim said nonchalantly.

“Why do you want to throw things at people, Jim?”

“Instinct. I will resist the urge, but I will not handle too many people around him for at least the first month. I still won’t be pleasant next month, but I will be willing to have people around him.”

“All right, we will come visit in a month. One month, Jim,” Winona warned.

“We shall make arrangements for your arrival.”

“We will need three rooms.”

“Three?” Jim questioned.

“Your grandparents, your brother and his girlfriend, and myself.”

The baby began to fuss prompting Jim to say, “Theodore requires feeding, I shall speak to you soon, Mom.”

“Yes, certainly. I expect pictures, Jim,” Winona said shifting uncomfortably, as Jim adjusted the baby to breastfeed him. She understood the changes done to her son, but to see them on display unnerved her. “I’ll let you go. Call me when you feel like it, Jim. Bye,” she said lowering her eyes to offer privacy for her child.

“Good-bye, Mom,” Jim replied not focused on his mother or her discomfort. Jim’s attention solely on the small boy in his arms.

Spock took the PADD and sent a short message to Bones. “Jim,” he said.

“Yes, Spock?”

“Bones needs to examine you and Theodore,” he said with authority.

Jim sighed, “I know. Tricorder only; I don’t want him touching either of us, yet.”

“Acceptable; I asked him to bring Sarah with him. I informed my mother that she should not accompany them.”

“Yes, Teddy wishes to meet his sister. Don’t you, sweetheart,” Jim cooed.

******

Len knocked on the front door of Jim and Spock’s house. Sarah had her hand in his and was patiently waiting for the door to open. Len just hoped Jim didn’t throw a vase at him this time. The door opened, and Spock stepped aside to let Len and Sarah inside the house.

“Bones,” Spock greeted.

“Spock, where are they?”

“We are here,” Jim’s voice came from the direction of the bedrooms. He stepped into view carrying a small blanket-clad baby.

“Why are you walking around? You should be in bed,” Bones demanded.

“I am fine, Leonard. You may use your tricorder on us to satisfy your mother-hen instinct,” Jim said smiling at the doctor.

“I am not a mother-hen. You don’t have anything you can throw at me, do you?” Len eyed the kid suspiciously.

“I do not,” Jim said allowing Len to approach him. Spock strode across the room to stand behind Jim and glare at his best friend.

Bones rolled his eyes at the overprotective Vulcan. Taking his tricorder out and running it over the baby first and then Jim, he stepped away from them to review his scans. “Well, everything looks normal, for you Jim. I can’t even tell you had a baby. Judging by these readings, you could run a marathon right now and not even be winded.”

“The baby?” Spock inquired.

Len reviewed the baby’s scans, finding them odd he double checked them. He started to step closer to Jim and the baby when Jim said, “You did not misread them, Leonard.”

“So, he’s like you, a Bearer?” Len asked.

“Yes, I suspected some time ago.”

“But you said that all the scans on Teldor showed that he wasn’t a Bearer?” Bones said raising an eyebrow in question.

Jim lowered his head; Spock sensing Jim’s distress wrapped his arms around his mate and held him close. He whispered into Jim’s ear, “You have nothing to fear, Jim.”

“I may have altered the scans to prevent Hohep from discovering the truth too soon.”

“You hacked their medical scanners?” Len asked.

“Yes, but only a little.”

“What about my scans?”

Jim nodded his head.

“Kid, now all the scans I took during the pregnancy, and those that I had you take are useless for my research.”

Jim handed the baby to Spock and walked to a bookcase in their living room. He pulled a PADD from the shelf and returned to Spock’s side. Handing the PADD to the doctor, he stated, “You will find all the unaltered data on this device. I also made notes of all the downsides to becoming a Bearer. I believe that if you succeed in recreating the process, all those willing to undergo the procedure should fully understand what those changes will entail. I will not help you complete your research beyond this as I do not believe it is in the best interest of the Vulcan people; however, I will not stand in the way of their decision to allow you to try and complete your goal.”

“Jim, this could be helpful to my people,” Spock said.

“I know this Spock, and I have spoken to both your father and T’Pau regarding this issue, and I stand firm on my decision. I will not help in the research; however, I have agreed to speak to anyone contemplating this process if Leonard completes it.”

“If that is your decision, I shall respect it,” Spock said.

“It is.”

“All right, I’ll respect it too,” Len said, “But thank for this information, Jim. You and the baby are fine. In fact, you two are almost perfect. He seems a bit stressed, but beyond that not much to report. I want to see scans of him every week.”

“No.”

“Jim, I can’t treat him if he gets sick without a baseline for his health,” Leonard said.

“I will take weekly scans, but I will only share them with you if he ever becomes sick,” Jim said stubbornly. The chance of Teddy becoming ill was slim, but anything was possible, and Jim would protect his son.

“Why the stubbornness, kid; this could help Spock’s people?” Leonard asked angrily.

“I believed you would accept my decision on this issue, Doctor,” Jim said icily.

“I do; I just want to know why?” Leonard stated sadly.

“The first Bearers chose to undergo the procedure. They were happy to sacrifice their previous lives to save their people. Many had wives and daughters who were sterile and could not continue producing new generations. The hope was successive generations would naturally fix the issue with female sterility; it did not. As time went on, fewer males wished to undergo the procedure; they started to force the process on those who were suitable, they were now slaves. They might not have held the title of a slave, but that was what they became. I did not want this done to me, Doctor. I did not choose to have this done to me, and if they had given me a choice, I would have told them no. I shall not facilitate the enslavement of others. I shall not assist in the destruction of the Vulcan culture, because; however, noble your intentions are that is what will occur,” Jim said implacably.

“Jim, Vulcans find slavery abhorrent. I cannot envision a time when we would wish to return to the practice, as it would not be logical,” Spock said trying to appease Jim’s agitation.

“Logical,” Jim sarcastically laughed. “My loving husband, logic has nothing to do with this issue. Teldorians were once quite logical before they embarked on a path of enslavement. Saving their race was logical. It was logical to force those who did not wish to become Bearers to undergo the procedure. It was logical to enslave the Bearers to ensure loyalty and fidelity. It was logical to take children away from their mothers when they were just children to continue the process. It was logical until it wasn’t, Spock. My love, logic without compassion shall lead to the destruction of your people. If you wish for this to work, you must help your people see that emotional repression will lead to destruction,” Jim stated with relentless ruthlessness. Removing the baby from Spock’s arms, Jim said with sympathy, “I wish I could assist, but I cannot,” he finished and left a stunned Spock and Leonard alone.

Spock made his way to his couch and plopped down on it ungracefully, burying his face in his hands. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and a concerned Bones came into focus.

“You okay?” Bones asked.

“No,” Spock huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, neither am I. I never quite thought of this from Jim’s point of view. That is the most I think I have heard out of the kid.”

“It was sobering.”

“It was that, my friend. What are you going to do?”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

Jim leaned on the archway between the hallway and living area, watching Spock gently rock Teddy. In the month since Teddy was born, Spock would care for the baby while Jim took showers. Watching Spock with the baby enthralled Jim; Spock was careful and cautious with the child. The baby was fussing as Spock walked and rocked him around the room; trying to soothe a hungry baby. Jim stopped moving forward when he heard the soft words spoken by Spock to the tiny infant.

“Hush, Theodore. Your mother will feed you soon; he does need time to care for his needs, little one. If I could nurse you, I would.”

“Is my sweetheart hungry,” Jim said announcing his presence in the room to Spock.

Spock turned to face Jim, and a faint smile graced his lips, “Do you feel better?” he asked.

“Yes, I do. I should feed the baby,” Jim said nodding to the baby.

“Yes.”

Jim carefully removed the baby from Spock’s arms and found his favorite spot in the living area to nurse the baby. Sitting in an old-fashioned rocking chair, Teddy began to suckle while Jim gently rocked.

“Jim?”

“Yes, my love,” Jim said glancing at his husband.

“Do you plan on returning to the VSA?”

“Yes,” Jim said tentatively.

“I have had several members of the VSA council inquire about your future educational plans.”

Jim scrunched up his nose before he spoke, “I have spoken to T’Pau regarding my future educational plans. I believe many on the council would be amenable to my withdrawal from the VSA. I shall not be accommodating them,” he stated firmly.

“Jim, do not do this if it is to just ‘prove a point,’” Spock said eyeing his husband’s reaction.

“And what point would I be trying to prove, my love?” Jim asked with an edge to his voice as he switched Teddy to the other side.

“I-I do not know.”

Jim raised his head to stare at his husband, “Spock, I came to New Vulcan to learn. I came knowing you would follow me and our son would be born here. I wish to finish my education, and then we shall return to Earth so you may resume your career. Perhaps I will apply to Starfleet Academy and try for a commission.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at his husband, “Jim, we have children, and currently, Starfleet does not allow families onboard starships.”

“You forget, my love, I was born on a starship,” Jim said as he gently patted Teddy’s back trying to get him to burp. Jim stood and approached Spock, kissing him on the cheek he said, “you should probably proceed with your day. You would not wish to be late retrieving my family.”

“Yes,” Spock replied turning and leaving a smirking Jim with Teddy. Jim shook his head as he put his son down for a nap while he prepared food for his guests. Jim was thankful that his family would be staying with Amanda and Sarek; he did not relish having people staying in his house.

******

Spock arrived early to retrieve Sarah from school. She approached him with quiet grace and a young Vulcan youth in tow.

“Sa-mekh, this is Viss, my future mate.”

Spock’s eyebrow shot up as he gazed at his daughter, “your future mate?”

“Yes, he will be of age in two years; I wish for you to make arrangements for a formal bonding ceremony.”

“Sarah, his parents must agree to such an arrangement.”

“He is an orphan, Spock,” T’Pau said approaching the small group.

“I grieve with thee,” Spock said to the small boy.

The boy scooted closer to Sarah and whispered in her ear. She shook her head and said, “I do not think my Mama would like to have strangers in our house right now. My Grandmother is coming from Earth to visit.”

“Sarah, I wish to speak to T’Pau in private,” Spock said.

“Yes, Sa-mekh,” Sarah said grabbing her companion's hand and dragging him away from the adults.

“Does Viss not speak?” Spock asked T’Pau.

“Recently, he has but only to Sarah,” she said glancing at the two children.

“Interesting.”

“Yes, it is illogical.”

“What have the healers found out about Viss?”

“He is in optimal health.”

“Why has he not spoken?”

“He is a talented empath, Spock.”

“Fascinating, and his parents were both Vulcans?”

“Yes, he is a rarity among our people. Sarah is a help to him; he finds her calming because of her extremely controlled emotions. If I did not know her parentage, I would believe she was part Vulcan.”  

“You have melded with her?” Spock questioned.

“Yes. Your mate is aware. He believed it would help to understand her needs. She is highly intelligent for a child of her age. She is blunt and lacks the human trait of politeness at times. She defends Viss when the other children are cruel to him.”

“His empathy is causing difficulty in finding him an adoptive family, is it not?”

“Yes.”

“Have you spoken to my parents?” Spock asked.

“I have not,” T’Pau said making Spock aware, by her hesitation, that it was a new idea.

“If you wish, I shall bring Viss to their attention when I see them this evening.”

“Acceptable.”

“Sarah,” Spock said calling to his daughter.

“Sa-mekh?”

“We should leave, we must meet your grandmother shortly.”

“Yes, Sa-mekh,” she said turning to Viss and gently touching his shoulder. A small sign of affection Spock thought.

******

Jim was happily humming while he finished his preparation for their evening meal. He heard the front door open and Spock call to him; he grabbed a towel and wiped his hands as he left the kitchen to greet his guests. When he entered the living room, he found his mother, grandfather, grandmother, and brother waiting for him.

“Mom,” he said as he approached her and gently hugged her. He was thankful she agreed to stay away for the last month; he didn’t want to hurt people now that Teddy was a month old.

“Jimmy, I’ve missed you,” she replied with a happy lilt in her voice. Jim released his mother giving her a small smile. His Grandfather pulled him into a bear hug, once released, his Grandmother gave him a gentler hug. Sam gave him an awkward smile and just raised his hand saying, “Hi, little brother.”

“Where’s my newest grandbaby?” Winona asked.

“Asleep, and no, I will not let you disturb his sleep, Mom.”

“I’ve waited a month, I can wait a bit longer,” she replied smiling at her son.

Sarah tugged on Jim’s hand attracting his attention; he smiled at her and said, “yes, sweetheart?”

“May I show them my room?”

Jim smiled at his daughter; he realized her desire to help him distract his family from the baby. “Yes, just please do not wake your brother.” Sarah gave him an affronted look as if his instructions were not implicitly known to her. She dragged the family out of the room, hushing them as they traveled down the hall to her bedroom leaving Jim and Spock alone.

“Jim, you are agitated,” Spock stated.

Jim didn’t speak he just took deep breaths trying to calm his fraying nerves.

“Would you prefer I ask them to leave and return tomorrow?”

Jim shook his head and again breathed in deeply, trying to find his center.

Spock pulled his husband into his arms and held him tight for a moment in the hope that it would help calm him. Spock wished he understood Jim’s reluctance with having his family in their house, but Jim resisted any discussion of the visit.

“This is difficult,” Jim said hesitating before he spoke.

“What is difficult, Jim?” his Grandmother asked.

Jim withdrew from Spock’s arms and smiled weakly at her. “I should explain,” he said.

“Explain what?” Sam piped up as he returned to the room.

“My behavior,” Jim replied.

They just looked at him expectantly. “Theodore is special. I did not want him surrounded by a lot of people in his first month,” Jim said sitting in the rocking chair and pulling Sarah into his lap. “He is a natural Bearer, and I will be protective of him, but it is not the only reason I did not want everyone here.”

“Jim, do you want us to leave?” his Grandfather asked.

“No, my reason is selfish,” he said hugging Sarah tight. “I was not allowed to care for Sarah after she reached her first year. I only saw her when Hohep was kind enough to allow her near me; it was a reward for good behavior.”

“That is horrible, Jim,” Sam said aghast.

“It was the way things were, Sam. I accepted my life,” Jim said shrugging.

“Jim, are you afraid someone will take Theodore away from you?” Spock asked.

“No, Spock. Sarah?”

“Yes, Mama?”

“Why don’t you show Spock your work?”

“May I?” Sarah asked wide-eyed.

“Yes, you may.”

“Thank you,” the little girl said kissing Jim’s cheek and jumping off his lap to run into her room. She returned several minutes later with a stack of PADDs. She handed them to Spock and pushed him towards a chair, so he could sit and exam her work.

Spock scanned through the first PADD and lifted an eyebrow, glancing at Jim who nodded for him to continue examining the PADDs. He read through the second PADD and stopped; he looked towards Jim and asked, “did you assist her Jim?”

“No, I did not. Sarah is the reason I wish to keep Teddy to myself,” Jim said confusing everyone in the room.

“I do not understand,” Spock replied.

“The Teldornians accelerated Sarah’s development; she appears as a five-year-old, but she is only two Earth years. She indulges me and allows me to baby her, but she truly does not need that level of care. I do not wish to share Teddy.”

“I understand, Jimmy,” Winona said. “When you were born, I didn’t put you down for a month. I wouldn’t let anyone touch you or hold you. You slept in my bed. I even showered with you. It terrified me; I thought that if I put you down or let anyone else care for you, you would disappear as George did. When I collapsed from exhaustion, I realized that I was just hurting both of us. My point is, Jim, please do not let your fear rule your decisions. You have come so far since you returned to us; please don’t use Teddy as a crutch.”

“Mama,” Sarah said approaching Jim, “I still need you to care for me. I like when you do.”

Jim stared at his daughter and quickly gathered her up into his lap and held her tight, “I like to care for you, sweetheart,” Jim said giving her a watery smile. Jim sat rocking his daughter until Teddy cried. He put Sarah down and excused himself to care for the baby. Jim believed Teddy would be hungry and he wasn’t too comfortable nursing him in front of his brother. He sat in his room with the baby in his arms feeding him. When the boy was finished eating, he carried him out into the living room. He smiled at his mother and carefully deposited Teddy into her arms.

Winona smiled at the baby in her arms and cooed. She glanced at Jim and said, “he is beautiful, Jim, thank you.”

It was a start, Jim thought. If he could allow his mother to hold Theodore, perhaps he would allow other near the small boy, in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that Jim's reason for not wanting a lot of people around Teddy is believable.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. Please let me know if you find any mistakes, I checked it but you know how it goes. So, this chapter took a turn from where I originally planed to go, please let me know what you think.

Len’s computer beeped at him alerting him to a new message. Opening it, he found Jim’s latest readings of Teddy and Jim. Maybe these new scans would yield the secret to recreating the bearers and apply it to the Vulcans. Teddy was now three-months-old, and Len’s work was stalled trying to figure out the damn secret to make his theory work. He scanned the newest information but didn’t see anything that would unlock this damn secret and give him a solution to this problem. He sighed as he looked at the time, realizing he had worked for almost eight hours straight, he rubbed his face with both hands deciding it was time to call it a day. Closing his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and relaxed. He was startled when he heard a light knock on his office door. Exhaling, he called out, “Enter.” He was surprised when T’Mara entered his office. He had only met her a few times and always accompanied by Jim. “What can I do for you T’Mara?” he asked the young beautiful Vulcan woman.

“I came to request a position with you,” she stated in that detached Vulcan way.

Len felt his pants tighten just a bit but resolutely willed his body to calm down; he would not fall for another Vulcan, he did it once, and it still hurt. “Why?” he asked gruffly.

She gestured towards the visitor’s chair in his office silently requesting to sit. Len nodded his ascent. She sat and began to speak, “what do you know about our marriage customs?”

“I know that Vulcans form a mental bond with their mate when they are seven-years-old. I know that you are drawn to your mate every seven years after the male reaches maturity,” he said trying not to give too much away about how he knew this information.

“You know more than most people who are not Vulcan. Do you know of our past indiscretions?”

“Not sure, depends on what you are suggesting.”

“Our past before Surak was littered with violence and atrocities. We were a people without logic and reason; driven strictly by our emotions to our near extinction. Males would fight for the right to mate with the female of his choice; she was his property. Now, a female may request a divorce, every seven years during her mate’s time; he will fight to the death for the right to mate with her, and she shall choose a challenger to fight him. If her mate wins, he decides to either allow the bond to break or mate with her. I do not have a mate he died with Vulcan’s destruction. I have been encouraged to accept a new pairing with men older than I am; I do not wish this. I wish to leave New Vulcan when Jim returns to Earth and join Starfleet; however, if I bond with another Vulcan, my mate will not wish for me to leave.”

“What has this to do with me?” Len asked.

“If I assist you in finding a solution to our problem, I shall not need to take a mate.”

“How do you figure that?”

“We do not have enough females to continue our species, and we shall die out without either the artificial womb or your solution.”

“Yes, I know this, but it still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I do not wish to share my mind with another,” she stated coolly.

“All right, that still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I am not like other Vulcans, Doctor.”

“How so?”

“You are an infuriating man,” she said allowing anger to lace her voice.

He smiled at her, “I’ve been told that before. I take it that you are a bit more emotional than your fellow Vulcans.”

“Yes, and if I bond with one of my suitors, I shall be found out. I do not wish to become an outcast.”

“Now, was that so hard?” he quipped.

She scowled at him and gritted out, “Yes.”

Len laughed at his guest’s affronted demeanor. Smiling at her again, he said, “All right, you may work with me, darling.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she said ignoring his endearment.

“Call me Len, darling,” he replied deciding he would try and annoy this young woman. She reminded him of Spock when they first met, and he was seriously attracted to her. He must have a thing for pissy emotional Vulcans.

***

Jim put Teddy down after he was fed and changed. Before Jim left the room to find Spock, he gently covered the baby and assured that the monitor was working correctly. It had been three months since they had been intimate, and Jim was going to confront his husband about their lack of sex. Jim stopped and smiled to himself; he thought the word ‘sex,’ he had never done that before. He just hoped that he would not become tongue-tied while speaking to Spock. He searched the house for his husband but only found empty rooms, as Sarah was staying with Amanda and Sarek for the evening. Opening the door to Jim’s greenhouse, he found Spock kneeling on a meditation mat with a firepot in front of him. Jim waited for Spock to acknowledge him; when Spock did, he gave him a small smile.  

“Are you ready for sleep, Jim?” Spock asked.

“No, I wish to speak to you,” Jim said.

“Jim?”

“Come inside and let us talk.”

“Very well,” Spock said standing and following Jim into the house. Jim led him into their bedroom and pointed to the bed. Spock sat and was shocked when Jim straddled his lap, “Jim?” he asked.

“Why are we not having sex?” Jim asked surprising himself with his boldness.

“You are still recovering from giving birth,” Spock said reasonably.

“Three months ago, my love. I was having sex with Hohep six weeks after Sarah was born. Now, tell me the truth,” Jim demanded.

Instead of answering Jim, Spock said, “I have noticed your behavior has changed since we first met.”

Jim hooked his arms around Spock’s neck, smiling at his mate, “you are trying to deflect from my question, my love.”

“And you did not answer my question,” Spock replied.

“Yours was an observation, not a question my love.”

“Perhaps; however, it is still true.”

“Why. Are. We. Not. Having. Sex, Spock, and do not deflect again,” Jim said annoyed with his husband.

Spock would have moved Jim from his lap; however, his husband was much stronger than he looked. Sighing, Spock said, “I am concerned.”

“Concerned?”

“My reaction to you on our wedding night, Jim.”

“Ah,” Jim said smiling at his mate. “Spock, your reaction was because of the bonding. It will not happen again until we are ready for another child.”

“I do not understand,” Spock said confused.

“A benefit of being a Bearer is that there are no unplanned pregnancies.”

“You can control when you become pregnant?” Spock asked.

“Yes, I did inform you of this after we bonded, my love.”

“I believe I misunderstood your statement. You chose to have Sarah and Teddy,” Spock said.

“Hohep wished to have a child; I made it happen. Two years later, he wished for another child, so I made it happen again,” Jim said shrugging.

“That is useful; however, that was not my concern. I was more concerned with my behavior while we were engaged in mating.”

“Possessiveness or the spanking?” Jim asked.

“Both,” Spock responded.

“If it makes you feel better, I enjoyed both,” Jim said nuzzling Spock’s neck.

“Jim!” Spock said scandalized.

“My love, you are a bit of a prude.”

“I never behaved like that with either Bones or Nyota,” Spock said mulishly.

“Well, that is good to know as I am neither Leonard nor Nyota.”

“Jim, this is serious.”

“I know, my love,” Jim said. Framing Spock’s face with his hands, Jim continued, “Spock, I understand that this might be antithetical to your previous behavior with your other lovers, but I enjoyed our time together. Hohep understood that I enjoyed a nice spanking; he claimed he used it to ensure I behaved but it was more out of enjoyment for both of us. Now, when he used the switch on me, I did not enjoy that. The switch was real punishment.”

“You have changed Jim,” Spock said quietly.

“I have,” Jim replied as he moved from Spock’s lap. He went to his dresser and removed a small, slim black case and returned to Spock. Giving the case to his husband, Jim knelt in front of Spock. “I have changed because you removed the collar I wore. It required time for the drugs to process through my system, but now that they have I am freer in my behavior. If you wish, I shall recreate the chemical that made me submissive, and you may return the collar to my neck.”

“No. I do not wish for you to submit to me, Jim. I want an equal partnership with you; I do not want to see you like you were when we met.”

“Than treat me like an equal, Spock. Make love to me or release me from our bond.”

“I thought that only death could release you from a bond,” Spock stated.

“You can reject me, and it will be much the same as death. I would become compelled to find another mate, which should not be a problem as I’m sure there are many on New Vulcan who would be happy to have a mate that could provide many healthy children to him.”

“We are T’hy’la,” Spock said.

“We would still be T’hy’la, we just wouldn’t be lovers, my love,” Jim said shrugging.

“Is that what you wish, Jim?” Spock asked nervously.

Narrowing his eyes at Spock, Jim said, “no, Spock it is not. What I want is for you to be my husband, my lover, my friend, and my T’hy’la. I want you to want me as much as I want you. It hurts that you do not want me, Spock.”

Shocked by the hurt he heard in his husband’s voice, Spock looked at the case in his hands, and impulsively threw it across the room, it split open revealing the collar that Jim once wore. The symbol of Jim’s enslavement was lying on the floor inside the broken case; Spock despised that collar, it meant Jim’s rough and callous treatment at the hands of the Teladorians, even if Jim would never admit it. The collar was a symbol of the pain and terror Jim experienced since he was nine-years-old. Spock wanted to cut the accursed collar into a million pieces, and scatter it among the stars, hurl it into an active volcano, or jettison it into a supernova, he wanted the vile device gone from his sight and Jim’s mind. Dragging his eyes away from the despicable collar, he stared at his mate, his husband, his T’hy’la, and said, “Jim, baby, please look at me.” When Jim lifted his face to look at Spock, he continued, “forgive me, T'hy'la. I— my— I was disturbed by my reaction and behavior towards you on our wedding night. I was appalled by my behavior and disgusted with myself because I enjoyed what I did to you, Jim. I have had a difficult time reconciling that man with the person I believed myself to be, Jim. My behavior harkened back to a time when my people treated their mates as chattel; I believed we had advanced and when I found myself enjoying our time together, I became unsettled. Please, can you forgive me?”

Jim gave Spock a wry smile and said, “Spock, your people still treat their mates as chattel. They are discussing force bonding to ensure the survival of the species because it is logical to mate those who do not love one another to keep a race alive. I am not arguing that I wish for the Vulcan species to extinguish, what I fear is that in the end, Vulcans shall perish by returning to their violent past where a mate was fought and killed over. I love you, Spock, you are everything to me, and I do not wish to find another mate and husband; I want you, but I want all of you. I want a friend, I want a brother, and I want a lover; can you be that for me?”

“Yes,” Spock said with conviction.

Jim smiled at him and rose from his knees, he slipped his sleeping robe off and stood naked before his husband. “Make love to me I wish to feel you inside of me, my love.”        

Spock nodded as he stood in front of his naked mate. Spock took Jim’s face in his hands and kissed him gently; he turned them as they kissed, and Jim shortly found himself flopping down onto the mattress. Spock covered Jim with his still clothed body, and his hands began to roam over the naked flesh of his mate. Spock kissed Jim, demanding entrance into his mouth so their tongues could battle for dominance; Spock won the battle but figured he lost the war. His hands moved lower on Jim’s body until they reached Jim’s flaccid cock; Spock cupped Jim’s genitals and gently began to massage them. He stimulated Jim, and soon his mate was writhing and spreading his legs wide for his mate. Jim’s moans heightened Spock’s desire to thrust into his mate tight wet heat. He ripped his mouth away from Jim’s and stood, he pulled down his pants and removed his cock from his underwear. He watched as Jim squirmed and moaned on the bed even though Spock was not touching him. Jim had his legs spread wide and his hips canted up enough that Spock could see the entrance into Jim’s body. Spock smirked as he said, “what do you want, baby?” Jim didn’t respond he just ran one hand down his body and reached for his entrance but hesitated. “Yes, Jim, do it.”

Jim pushed one finger into his entrance and moaned at the sensation of being filled if only slightly. Jim fingered himself with one finger waiting for Spock to allow him to add another. He didn’t know how long Spock made him wait before he spoke again.

“Add another one, Jim,” Spock said. He watched as Jim slipped a second finger into his hole and thrust in and out; Spock knew the angle wasn’t right, and Jim would not feel the full enjoyment of his ministrations. Spock wanted Jim to beg for Spock’s cock inside him. “What do you want, Jim?”

Jim finally spoke, pleading with Spock, “you, I want you. I want you inside me, please.”

With a feral grin, Spock moved onto the bed, he pulled Jim’s fingers out of the inviting hole and gripped Jim’s wrist and pushed his arm above his head. He gently pushed Jim’s wrist into the mattress, a silent signal to keep it there. Jim repeated the action with his other arm. Spock surveyed his mate with naked desire, whispering in his ear as he lined his cock up to Jim’s entrance, “so beautiful, Ashaya. I wish to fuck you until you scream my name,” he finished as he thrust into his mate in one move.

Jim cried out in pleasure as his husband thrust in and out of him. Jim had missed having Spock inside of him; this is what he wanted, no this is what he needed. He wanted rough sex tonight, he thought, and then he wanted his husband to take him in his arms and hold him all night while he slept. Jim knew when Spock was close because his movements became erratic; he tightened down trying to bring his husband’s orgasm to a crescendo, but a sharp sting to his thigh stopped him.

Spock stopped moving inside his mate; he held still as he said, “I’m not ready, baby. You have not yet screamed for me. I wish to hear you moan. I want to feel you squirm underneath me. I want to know that the only one you are thinking about is me, Spock. I want to erase that bastard from your mind. You are my mate,” Spock said pulling almost all the way out. “You are my lover,” he said thrusting into Jim. “My husband,” he pulled out of Jim and waited for Jim to acknowledge him. Jim’s eyes slid open, and Spock thrust in again, saying, “my T’hy’la.” He pulled out and hovered over Jim, “is this what you wanted, Jim? Did you want me to fuck you into the mattress? Make you forget that bastard and what he did to you? Did you want hard and fast, baby?”

“Yes, please.”

“What if I want hard and slow, Jim?” Spock asked.

Jim blinked up at his mate, not sure how to answer. Spock just smirked at Jim and began to thrust in and out at varying speed, driving Jim crazy with need and desire. On a powerful thrust, Spock growled, “mine,” and Jim’s body arched off the bed and he cried out Spock’s name. Falling back onto the bed in a boneless heap, Jim didn’t want to move nor could he. He felt Spock slip out of his body and move away from the bed. He drifted in a haze of endorphins until he felt a warm wet cloth wipe between his legs and gentle hands shifting him correctly onto the bed. Spock covered him with the light sheet and slipped in behind him.

Spock gathered his worn-out mate into his arms and whispered, “I love you, Jim.”

“I love you, my love,” Jim mumbled as he drifted into the abyss of sleep.  


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome. Heavy dialog chapter. 
> 
> Just so everyone knows updates will be slow in coming as life has been busy. I will update when I can.

Jim smiled at Spock as he entered their new apartment dressed in his Starfleet Cadet uniform. After Jim convinced Spock he wasn't fragile, Jim stopped playing and quickly finished at the Vulcan Science Academy. He was the first human to finish and even score higher than many Vulcans, ever.

Jim was entering Starfleet Academy with the plan on finishing in three years. Jim had plans, big plans, nothing, and nobody would stand in his way.

Spock returned to Starfleet Academy as an instructor and refused an assignment to a ship. Privately, Spock knew it would stall his career, but he didn't want to be separated from Jim and the children. He still believed that Jim was headed for a breakdown and wished to be nearby when it happened.

Bones had returned to Earth as well; he was the only doctor that Jim trusted and with Jim's help he had made progress on finding a way to recreate what was done to Jim. Jim was not happy with the idea, but he also understood the need for the Vulcan race to survive.

"How was your first day, Jim?" Spock asked handing him, Teddy.

"It was interesting. Did you behave for your father, Teddy?" Jim cooed at the boy.

"Dada," Teddy replied trying to touch Spock, but only succeeding in hitting his face.

Spock deftly captured Teddy's small hand and said, "he behaved, Jim. Are you hungry?"

"Forgive me, husband. I should have thought about dinner. I should start it before it is too late.”

“Jim, I already made dinner. Sarah has already eaten. Do you wish to sit and eat with me?”

“Sorry. I sometimes forget that I don’t have to be perfect. Yes, and thank you for feeding Sarah.”

“I share equal responsibility for the care of our children, Jim.”

“I know Spock. I love you.”

“I know.”

 

***

 

"Spock?" Jim asked later that night with Spock wrapped around him.

"Yes, Jim?"

"Am I selfish wanting to take the children into space?"

"No."

"But it's dangerous, and I don't need the adventure to be satisfied with my life."

"Jim, did you join Starfleet so that I would be happy?"

"No, it was always my goal to follow in my father's footsteps. I cannot say you weren't a factor in my choice to leave New Vulcan. You were struggling there, my love."

"I would have endured it, for you."

"I know, but I couldn't let you."

Spock didn’t know what to say to that, and he suspected that Jim had joined Starfleet to please Spock. Deciding to sleep on the issue and he said, “Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Spock."

 

***

 

Three months later, Jim was planning Teddy's first birthday party. He didn't see why he needed to have a party for a one-year-old, but his family and Amanda were insistent on it. The crew of the Enterprise was on Earth for the celebration, and even the old man had traveled from New Vulcan to celebrate Teddy's birthday.

Jim hadn't celebrated a birthday since his last before the hell of Tarsus IV and his imprisonment. Over the year since his rescue, Jim was starting to find some resentment for what had happened to him. He knew logically that he couldn't change what happened to him, but he felt something underneath the surface trying to break free. He could not name the emotion, but it was waiting for the right moment, and it would surface and explode; he tried to stay calm and the picture of serene perfection he was taught to project, but it was harder and harder each day.

Jim and Sarah had retreated to her room to hide from the chaos of his home. His mother and Amanda were planning some games that Teddy could never play at a year old but were apparently for the older children, and they wanted him to participate. He didn't understand why; he wasn't a child.

"Mama, what's wrong?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know, baby? I feel... trapped."

"Claustrophobic, Mama," Sarah said with decisiveness.

"Yes, why don't we take a walk?"

"Yes, can we go to the playground?"

"Why not?" Jim said standing and taking Sarah's hand.

It was nice out that day, Sarah was running around the playground trying to capture imaginary bugs. Jim was pushing Teddy in the swing, and the small boy was giggling; Jim felt free. Jim thought he could just be in the moment, with no pressure to be James High Bearer or even Spock's husband. He loved his mate and husband, but there were times his hovering was too much.

Jim wondered what his life would have been like had he not been taken from Tarsus IV; if he had returned to Earth. Would he have joined Starfleet? Would he have friends? Would he know how to make friends? Jim thought about the Jim old Spock knew; how different were they? He wondered if the old man would ever share stories of his Jim.

"Jim?" the gravelly sound of his husband's counterpart spoke behind him.

"Hello, Old Man."

"I do not wish to interrupt your time with the children, but you appear unsettled since the last time I saw you."

"I am."

"What is wrong? Is my counterpart mistreating you?"

"What? No, Spock is wonderful. I don't know what is wrong. I feel lost for the first time in my life. Will you tell me something?"

"If I can," Spock Prime replied.

"Will you tell me about your Jim?"

"He was reckless at times. He loved life and never feared death until it came to others. He never backed down from a challenge, but he could be diplomatic when needed. And he hated Klingons and Tribbles."

"Who could hate Tribbles?" Jim asked.

"Jim. I always found them quite soothing. I even believe they improved Doctor McCoy's disposition."

Jim laughed. He could just imagine the grumpy man surrounded by gently purring fluff balls. "Perhaps I should find him one; it might improve my Doctor McCoy."

"Perhaps, just be careful, Tribbles can be trouble. They breed rapidly, faster than Earth rabbits."

"Why did he hate Klingons?" Jim asked changing the subject.

"It is a long story and one that will not be necessary for you to know."

"Please, Old Man."

Spock sighed, but relented, "they killed his son, David."

Jim closed his eyes at the thought of how much pain his counterpart must have suffered losing his child.

"Our lives were different, but not perfect, Jim. Please do not try to compare the two."

"How did he survive his son's loss?"

"Jim used his pain to survive. He once told someone that he liked his pain. His pain made him who he was; I did not understand until recently what he meant, but now I do."

"The loss of Vulcan."

"My failure," Spock Prime replied.

"You could not have predicted what would have happened on Romulus, Spock. It was not your fault, just as it wasn't my fault I was kidnapped and turned into a freak," Jim huffed.

"You are not a freak, Jim."

"Really? I'm a man who gave birth to two children. I can't even..." Jim trailed off.

"Where is this coming from, Jim?" Spock asked.

"I don't know? I'm... I do not know what I am feeling. It is an emotion I cannot name."

"Try, Jim,” Spock demanded.

"How?"

"Think back to before your kidnapping. What did you feel then?"

Jim thought; he remembered fear and anger. He was angry.

"Jim?" Old Spock asked.

"I'm angry. I haven't been angry for years. Why am I angry?"

"Perhaps distance and time have helped you to feel different."

"No, I can't feel anger."

"Jim, everyone feels anger, even Vulcans."

"No, you do not understand. They stripped anger from me. I wasn't supposed ever to feel anger; it would not be healthy for me. It would make me dangerous."

"Jim, to use an old Earth term, they brainwashed you. They convinced you of what they wanted you to believe. Please, speak to Spock regarding this. If not him, Doctor McCoy."

"I don't think I can."

"You must, Jim," Old Spock said.

"You do not understand," Jim said sharply.

"You are right; I do not understand. Perhaps you should allow a healer from Vulcan to meld with you; it might shed light on your situation."

"Will you do it?" Jim pleaded.

Spock Prime hesitated, but finally spoke, "if you wish, and Spock does not object."

"Thank you, I'll speak with him and Leonard."

"Mama," Sarah said running up to Jim, "I'm sleepy."

"Let's go home, sweetheart," Jim said as he picked up Teddy and took Sarah’s hand.

 

***

 

Later that night, after the children were in bed, Jim finally broke down and spoke to his Spock and Leonard.

"I'd like to do a scan of you, Jim."

"To see if anything has changed in my brain since we met?" Jim asked.

"Yes. Maybe we did miss something when we did the original scans," Leonard mused.

Jim didn't think so, but he would allow it.

 

***

 

A week after Jim's near meltdown in the park, he was sitting in his small house with his Spock, Leonard, and Old Spock. Leonard had the results of Jim's scans and the scans they decided to do on Sarah as well, just as a precaution and for comparisons.

"What did you find, Bones?" Spock asked.

"Jim's brain is altering from when we first rescued him and took the initial scans. I'm not sure how or why, but it is; Sarah's too."

"It is still happening, isn't it?" Jim asked.

"Yes, Jim. I'm not sure if we can stop it or even if we should try to. It might be a natural process, or it could be your brain trying to fix what was done to it by those bastards."

Jim turned and looked at Old Spock and just raised one eyebrow.

"Jim has asked that I perform a mind meld on him once Doctor McCoy was satisfied with his scans. I agreed, only if Doctor McCoy and Spock agreed. Do you?"

Spock did not want his counterpart in his mate’s mind, but he didn't think he was skilled enough to accomplish what Jim needed.

"Bones?" Young Spock asked.

"I don't see any harm in it, and it might just give us some answers."

Jim’s Spock sighed but nodded his head in agreement.

"Let us begin, Jim," Old Spock said and touched Jim's face gently.

Spock was shocked how quickly he slipped into Jim's mind. What he found was not what T'Pau had described; it was chaos.

 

***

"Jim?" he called out.

"I'm over here, Old Man."

Spock turned to see Jim standing in a field surrounded by the dying. "What is this place, Jim?"

"Tarsus."

"A memory."

"Yes."

"When was this?"

"Right before they took me. My mom and Sam were gone for a few weeks. I wanted to go with her, but Frank wouldn't let me. They fought about it; I hated her for not taking me."

"Do you know why Frank made her leave you?"

"I didn't at the time, but I do now. I remember sneaking down the stairs one night shortly after mom left when I heard voices. I thought that she might have come home or tried to contact us, but it wasn't her. It was Kodus. He was offering Frank money for me; it was why they didn't let me leave. I was the perfect candidate to become a breeder."

The scene changed to a set of rooms and two young men talking.

"Who is the other boy, Jim?"

"My husband," Jim said fondly.

"What were you discussing, Jim?"

"He was reading me poetry. It was the first time he told me he loved me; he wasn't always a bad man."

"Jim, he abused and raped you."

Jim spun around and snarled, "no, he didn't."

"Jim, you must face the truth. You were raped."

"No. I loved him. I wanted him."

"Jim, they adjusted your mind to make you believe you were in love with him. What happened before this, Jim?"

"I... the machine. It was horrible; I hated it. It showed me things I never wanted to see. I don't understand, Spock?"

"Did your husband ever use the machine on you?"

"No, he didn't need to. I was obedient by the time we married. I did what he told me to and I... I never questioned him. Why didn't I question him? I question Spock all the time now."

"You were trained not to question him, Jim."

"Why is this happening now?"

"I do not know, Jim. Perhaps your time away from that planet has helped you."

"I'm angry. I want to find Frank and Kodus and hurt them for what they did to me. They sold me into slavery. I didn't think..." Jim started to say but trailed off.

"You didn't think what Jim?" Spock asked.

"I think I know what’s wrong."

The meld broke abruptly, and the two men found themselves back in Jim and younger Spock's house.

Jim touched his face and wiped away the tears that had formed.

"Jim?" Spock said concerned for his mate.

"I'm fine Spock. Or I will be."

"You said you knew what was wrong, Jim," the Old Man said.

"I do. I should have thought of it sooner, but it didn't occur to me until just a moment ago."

"What is it?" Bones asked.

"I'm pregnant," Jim said closing his eyes and hoping his husband and mate wouldn't be angry with him.

"Jim?" Spock said sounding surprised.

"I didn't find anything in all my scans," Leonard said.

"It's too soon. I'm sorry, Spock. I didn't intentionally do this. I think it was subconscious."

"Jim, I am not angry, just surprised."

"Subconscious?" Leonard asked.

"Yes, breeders can control when they become pregnant. It is rare that a breeder will accidentally become pregnant, but when it happened, it is because they are troubled by something."

"What are you concerned about, Jim?" Spock asked.

Jim looked towards Spock as he said, "you finding someone else to love."

"Come here, Sweetheart," Spock said pulling Jim into his lap. Leonard and the old man quietly left them alone.

"I'm sorry, my love," Jim said again.

"Don't be, Jim. I love you. What did I do to make you think I wished to find someone else?"

"I know you aren't happy not being on a ship. I know that you want to explore. I know that Leonard will return to the Enterprise as soon as he finishes his assignment with Starfleet medical. I know you want to go with him. I know you two were lovers once, Spock."

"Jim, I don't love Leonard."

"Don't lie to me, Spock."

"Let me rephrase; I'm not in love with Leonard. I do love him, and I once was in love with him, but it was many years ago. I fell in love with you, Jim."

"No, you felt the need to protect me, Spock. I know the difference."

"Yes, I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect my T'hy'la, my soulmate. You are the other half of my soul, Jim; without you, life is not worth living. I could no more leave you than I could cut off my arm. Why would you think differently?"

"I came into your life and took over. You ended up living on New Vulcan for me; you hate New Vulcan. You gave up your commission for me; I cannot give that back to you. I have taken so much; what have I given you?"

"A family, you have given me a family, T'hy'la. You have given me love and acceptance and did not ask for anything in return. You did not ask for me to leave the Enterprise, I chose to do that for you. I chose to live on New Vulcan for you, Jim. I love you, T'hy'la. I love our daughter and our son, and I will love this child, too," Spock said as he gently touched his husband's belly.

"Truly?" Jim asked.

"Yes, but I think you need to work on some of your issues regarding your time in captivity. I know you said it does not bother you, but I do not think that is true, Jim."

"I know. I just don't think I can talk to the councilors they have tried to assign me. They all look at me like I'm a freak. I love my children, even if how they came to me was not how it should be. I can't change the past, only make a better future for them. It isn't their fault for what happened to me, and the counselors have all tried to make me feel like I should hate my children for it. I don't know what to do, Spock," Jim finished placing his head on Spock's shoulder.

"Perhaps you should speak to my mother or T'Pau," Spock suggested.

"Maybe. Would it be alright if I talked to you?"

"Yes, T'hy'la. Tell me anything you wish."

"I hope the baby has your ears," Jim said snuggling into his husband and mate.

"As they are dominant, it is most likely. I hope our child has your eyes."

"A Vulcan with blue eyes, that would be a novelty. I doubt that will happen; I hope if the baby is a boy that he isn't a breeder."

"I will not care as long as he is healthy. It is a fifty percent chance that the child will be a girl, Jim."

"Breeders have a slightly higher chance of having boys, Spock. Sarah was a rarity."

"How much higher, Jim?"

"Closer to seventy or eighty percent chance. I'm not sure if your Vulcan DNA will make any difference, but maybe. I think it would be nice to have another girl."

"If the child is a boy, what are its chances it will be a breeder like you, Jim?"

"Fifty percent now that I've had Teddy and he is a breeder. The more children I have and that are breeders the higher the chances the next one will be as well."

"Fascinating."

"You would think that."

"This still doesn't explain the changes in your brain or Sarah's, Jim."

"Um, well, Breeders bond with their children and when a pregnancy happens, it affects our other children. The changes in me, I think are related to this baby being half Vulcan."

"I do not understand?"

"Even though it's early, the baby is probably already exhibiting some small telepathic influences on me and probably needs slightly different nutrients from Sarah and Teddy. I'll probably need to adjust my diet to compensate for this child’s needs."

"You are already a vegetarian, Jim and eat mostly Vulcan foods," Spock said logically.

"True, but Vulcans are vegetarians by choice, not by necessity. Your people once ate meat at some point in time, you choose to eat a vegetarian diet now, but you can still digest meat. I think this baby needs something that other Vulcan baby's might not, Spock."

"I had not thought of that. Why would this child be different?"

"Because of all the changes that were done to me. I'm not fully human, and I'm not fully Telladorian either. I'm a hybrid. This child will be a hybrid between you and me. Human, Telladorian, and Vulcan, but mostly Human. I think the human part in some ways dominate our baby even if many of the Vulcan traits are normally dominate."

"It was not like that for me, Jim. The Vulcan traits are dominant in me," Spock countered.

"True, but you do not have any Telladorian in you."

"And that will make a difference?"

"Yes, my love, it will. Telladorians have manipulated their genetics so much and integrated many different species into them that the genetics can become confusing. It is something we will have to wait and see what happens when Leonard can do a full scan of the baby."

"Very well, Jim."

"Are you happy, Spock?"

"Yes, Jim. I also know my mother will be ecstatic over the news of another grandchild. Are you sure you wish to have another one so close to Teddy?"

"Yes. I can't... I won't do anything to change this, my husband. I want this baby, our baby."


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Please leave feedback. I tried to catch all my mistakes, but I probably missed some, please let me know if you find anything glaring.

Jim heard the knock on his front door but didn’t move from the bed; Spock would answer the door.   Since he discovered the pregnancy, his emotions vacillated between happy to depressed. He’d never felt this way before and wasn’t sure how to handle himself. With the discovery of the new pregnancy, Jim took a look at his decision to join Starfleet Academy and found he did not want to continue. He entered the Academy to please Spock and his family; to follow in his father’s footsteps, but he no longer wanted to be the captain of a starship, that ship sailed with his kidnapping. Now all Jim wanted was a quiet life with his husband and children. Jim heard the door to the bedroom open, and he felt the presence of his mate and husband, Spock enters the room.

“Jim, Captain Pike and Admiral Barnet are here and wish to speak with you.”

Jim sighed, he rolled over and left his bed; following Spock to the living room of the house they purchased after finding out about the new baby, Jim found the two men standing around looking uncomfortable.

“Captain Pike, Admiral Barnet, what can I do for you today?” Jim asked. Both men had tried to talk Jim out of leaving Starfleet, but Jim was resolute in his decision.

“Jim, we need your help,” the admiral said.

“My help?”

“We received a communication from Teldor, Jim, they want to talk,” Pike said chagrined.

“High Prince Johet must no longer be in control,” Jim stated.

“Two months ago, he was deposed in a coup. The new High Prince wishes to speak to us about a treaty and alliance.”

“The Federation will not ally with an non-united planet,” Jim said. Pike had told him this when they first met.

“True, but they claim that they have united all factions of the planet.”

“Unlikely,” Jim huffed.

“Yeah, I don’t buy it either, but Enterprise has been assigned to take a diplomatic delegation to the planet and start talks,” Pike said.

“I cannot be part of that delegation,” Jim asserted.

“Jim, you are a Federation citizen and the only person we have that knows how the Teldorians behave. We need your insight,” Barnet maintained.

“You misunderstand me, Admiral, I am not saying I will not help, but they will not listen to a Bearer. I am nothing but breeding stock to them. If you send an ambassador with the Enterprise, I will go and instruct them on my people, but I cannot be part of the negotiations.”

“They are not your people, Jim,” Spock snarled.

“My husband, I am Teldorian. I have part of their genes in me, I cannot change that, and I do know how they think. I will not do this if you forbid it, my husband,” Jim replied quietly.

Spock cringed, he hadn’t seen this side of Jim in a while, and he didn’t like it, “I will not stop you from going, but I insist that I be allowed to accompany Jim.”

“I’d love to have you back aboard, Commander,” Pike said, happy that he would have someone to watch over Jim.

Spock just nodded.

“Who are you sending?” Jim questioned.

“Ambassador Sarek,” Barnet responded.

“A wise choice,” Jim said thinking that Sarek would hold his temper better than any human they sent.

“When do we leave?” Spock asked.

“Two days,” Pike said.

***

Three days later, Jim was in a conference room with his father-in-law discussing Teldorian culture and protocol. Jim was working with him, but it was a slow process for the diplomatic team to accept that some things were the reality. What concerned Jim the most was that several members of the diplomatic team dismissed him and his knowledge of his planet.

“Jim you need rest,” his husband spoke as he entered the room.

“Of course, my husband,” Jim said standing and leaving towards their assigned temporary quarters on the ship. Jim entered the room and went directly to the dresser they were using for their clothing. He opened a drawer and pulled out a black box he had gotten before they left Earth. He knelt near the bed and waited for his mate to return.

Spock found Jim kneeling by their bed with a slim, black box in his hands. Spock suspected he knew what Jim had and wanted, but Spock didn’t want to think about it right then.

“Jim, what are you doing?”  

“Awaiting you, my husband.”

“Jim, please don’t do this, you’ve come so far since you left that hellhole,” Spock begged.

Jim raised his head, but kept his eyes lowered, “my love, I’m doing this for my protection and comfort. I cannot return to Teldor without a collar, nor can I walk amongst them without you present; it will not be allowed.”

“Does that collar have the drug they used on you?” Spock asked.

“No my husband, it does not. I am capable of acting submissive, when necessary. Will you place your collar on me, my husband?” Jim asked as he held the box up towards his mate.

“No,” Spock spat and left the room in an angry huff. Spock couldn’t do that, not to Jim. He was mad at himself for allowing this situation to happen. He was angry at Jim for agreeing to come in the first place. He was furious with Starfleet for even asking this of Jim. He needed an outlet for his frustration; he had never felt this out of control in his life. He stalked the ship and without thinking about it found himself outside Bones’ temporary quarters. Bones let him in without hesitation.

“He, darling, what’s wrong?”

“Jim wants me to put a collar on him, Bones,” Spock fumed.

“Why?” Bones asked.

“He said it was for his ‘protection and comfort.’”

“What do you want to do, Spock?”

Spock didn’t answer with words; he pinned Bones to the wall and kissed him hard and vicious. He didn’t know how long he kissed his friend and one-time lover, biting his lips roughly and gripping his hips hard enough to leave bruises, but when he finally stopped to breathe horror invaded him. What had he done? He pulled away from his friend and fled as far from him as he could go in the small room.

“What have I done?” Spock said in agony. He sank to the floor against the far wall Spock placed his head in his hands and disappeared into himself.

He hadn’t meant to kiss Bones and betray Jim. Since he boarded the Enterprise, Spock felt trapped and out of control. He couldn’t stop Jim from helping the Federation, but he wanted to order Jim not to assist. He never intended to become like that monster Jim was married to before, but now he felt as if he was worse, at least that bastard had been honest with Jim.

Lost in his thoughts and mind, Spock didn’t hear what was occurring around him.

After Spock sunk to the floor and Bones couldn’t get a response from the Vulcan, he contacted Sarek. He didn’t release telling Jim that Spock had kissed him.

“Doctor,” Sarek said dispassionately.

“Ambassador, I need your help,” Bones said pointing to the crumpled Vulcan on his floor.

“What has occurred?” Sarek demanded.

“I don’t know everything, but Spock showed up distraught over Jim. Jim wanted Spock to put a collar back on him, and Spock became angry. He told me that much and then collapsed on the floor like you see him now,” Bones said leaving out the part where Spock kissed him passionately.

“Have you spoken to James?” Sarek asked.

“No, I didn’t know if he could help.”

“He is perhaps the only one who can.”

***

Spock felt Jim’s presence in the room and his mind, but he refused to acknowledge it.

“Spock, my love, what is wrong?” Jim pleaded.

“Leave,” was all Spock said.

“I cannot, I feel your pain, Spock. You are suffering; please tell me what has occurred?”

“I have betrayed you, Jim. I am not worthy of you or a T’hy’la.”

“Oh my love, you would never betray me. I know you love me.”

Spock looked up at Jim for the time and spat, “I kissed Bones.”

Jim sighed, he could feel the distress rolling off of Spock, “I know, Spock, and I forgive you.”

“How? How can you forgive me? I broke my vow to you; I coveted another.”

“Do you wish to break our bond and marry Leonard?” Jim asked. “I am confident that I could find another mate on Teldor. You could claim the child as yours, and when he’s born you would be notified, and they would hand him over to you,” Jim said.

“No,” Spock snarled and pushed Jim to the ground. “Please don’t leave me, Jim, I wouldn't survive without you. Please, Jim, do not say you want to stay on the planet,” Spock begged. “I’ll do anything; I’ll never see Bones again, just please don’t leave me.”

“My love, I do not wish to leave you. Please calm yourself,” Jim said.

“Why aren’t you angry at me? You should be livid about my betrayal,” Spock said confused.

“I am angry. I’m angry that you didn’t stay to listen to me. I’m angry that you ran to Leonard to take your fear and aggression out on, he did not deserve this, Spock. Does my fury fix our situation? Will my rage at you make you feel better, Spock? What do you want Spock?” Jim asked sounding tired.

“I want to keep you safe. I want to forbid you returning to Teldor, but I will not do that to you, Jim.”

Jim was frustrated with his mate; Spock was confusing him. “I’m only returning to Teldor if you are going with me, my love. The reason I wish for you to put a collar on me is to protect me; keep me safe. I love you Spock, but I cannot keep this emotional rollercoaster you have me on going. I am tired, Spock. I want direction in my life, and I want to give it to me.” There, Jim thought, he had said the things that were bothering him. He wanted to tell Spock for some time about his needs, but his mate was reluctant to listen to him.

“You wish for me to tell you what to do, Jim?”

“Not everything, Spock, but somethings, yes. I lived with daily direction for nine years, and though I have adapted and do not need constant reminders of how to behave, I would like at times for you to take control. I don’t want a career, Spock. I want to take care of our children and you. I like staying at home and cooking and cleaning for you and the children. I know that is not what anyone wants to hear, but it’s what I want.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner, Jim?”

“I was trying to please you and my family. Everyone felt I should want more out of life than to be a stay-at-home parent and husband, but it’s all I have ever known.”

“Forgive me, T’hy’la. I should have seen this sooner.”

“I should have communicated it to you sooner, too. Will you permit me to accompany you and the ambassadorial party to Teldor?” Jim asked.

Spock wanted to tell Jim it was up to him, but he had a suspicion that Jim wanted something different. “Yes, but you will wear the collar and stay at my side at all times,” Spock said forcefully.

“Yes, my husband.”

“I will beg Bones’ forgiveness for my transgressions, and you will inform him that you are not angry at him. We will then return to our quarters where we will continue our discussion.”

“Of course, my husband,” Jim said happiness settling around him for the first time in months.

***

Stepping back on Teldor was anti-climatic for Jim. Jim knew what to expect from his people, and while he had hoped for some change in their behavior, he did not expect it to occur overnight.

The First Minister Monep greeted them. Monep glanced at Jim but refrained from speaking to him, since Jim wore the collar and Spock had a possessive hand on him.

“Greetings,” Monep said.

“We are grateful that you have decided to re-open dialog with us,” Sarek said,” I am Ambassador Sarek, and this is my wife, Doctor Amanda Greyson.”

“Ambassador, if you will follow me, the High Prince awaits your arrival.”

Monep turned, and the ambassador’s party followed behind him.

They entered the High Princes meeting room, and Jim held himself still, he would have gasped had he not been trained.

"Hello, James," High Prince Hohep said.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome.

"Hello, James," High Prince Hohep said.

“No,” Jim whispered, and if it hadn’t been for Spock holding him up, Jim would have knelt on the floor in fear.

“Yes, James. It is agreeable to see you again. Come to me James,” Hohep said.

Against his will, Jim started to step forward, but Spock’s grip on his arm kept him in place. Jim glanced at Spock and then lowed his eyes quickly.

“High Prince Hohep, we believed you to be deceased,” Spock spoke.

“A deception. I see that you decided to keep James as your mate. I would be quite happy to take him back if you wish to return him; I know he can be troublesome.”

“I do not wish to part with my T’hy’la,” Spock said knowing that Hohep would probably mistake the word for 'mate' or something similar.

“Yes, James is a lovely prize. Please sit, and we shall negotiate,” Hohep said leering at Jim.

Jim followed the delegation to the table, but instead of sitting in the chair Spock pulled out for him, Jim knelt next to his husband and mate. Jim felt Spock’s disapproval through their bond, but he couldn’t change his training; he was a bearer, and he couldn’t sit at a table with his betters.

Amanda watched as Jim knelt next to her son in a show of graceful submission and wondered if she was supposed to do this as well. She looked to Sarek, but the hard steel in his eyes told her to take the seat he offered her. “Thank you, husband,” she said as she sat.

“Thanks, are not necessary, wife,” Sarek replied.

Hohep did not waste time with pleasantries and wanted to start the negotiations quickly. He was pleased that James failed to take the seat his husband offered; James’ training was still intact.

Monep stood behind Hohep’s chair and eyed the young bearer with distaste. He didn’t trust the whore who had taken his potential mate away from him. Monep was Hohep’s lover before James was introduced into the picture and now all Hohep wanted was to recover his property and son; it was an obsession, one that might end in war.

“Teldor is willing to offer the Federation exclusive rights to our mines,” Hohep opened the negotiations with one thing his intelligent believed would win a treaty.

“That is quite generous; however, we must ask if you have resolved your conflict with the northern people?” Sarek asked.

“Yes, we have an agreement.”

“May I ask what that agreement entails?” Sarek asked.

“Why is it important?” Hohep asked.

“The Federation does not make treaties with ununited people. You cannot have a conflict with half of your planet and have an agreement with us,” Sarek replied reasonably.

“Very well, we have agreed to provide them with breeders if they will stop attacking us; the treaty will hold,” Hohep said confidently.

“You are selling your people to prevent war?” Sarek questioned.

“They are just bearers,” Hohep said shrugging. “Now on to more pleasant matters, what will it take for you to sell James back to me, Commander Spock?”

“As I stated before, I do not wish to part with Jim,” Spock said stiffly.

“It is of no consequence if you do not wish to part with the bitch, but I will insist that you return my son to me,” Hohep demanded.

“No!” Jim shouted and stood with his hands fisted. He didn’t care if he was punished, but he wouldn’t let Hohep take Teddy away from him.

“You forget yourself, Bearer,” Hohep snapped.

“No, you will not take my son from me,” Jim said quaking in fear and anger.

“He is not your son, James; have you forgotten everything you were taught?”

“I remember everything I was taught,” Jim sneered. “I remember every punishment and every cruel word you said; I also remember every tender touch and words of love and devotion softly spoke to me.”

“They meant nothing, James.”

“Really, so I was nothing but a breeding mare for you?”

“Yes, and you will be again,” Hohep spat at Jim.

“Never. I will never let you touch me again, High Prince. Spock is my husband and mate, now and soon we will have a child together. I will never let you take Sarah and Teddy from me. You can go to hell and so can your so-called treaty with the Federation; I will not participate in this farce. I wish to leave, my husband.”

Spock didn’t hesitate to open his communicator and order for beam out for the diplomatic party.

***

Jim paced their quarters ranting about stupid people who thought a leopard could change its spots. Spock sat on the sofa and waited for the anger to bleed out of his mate, but it was taking too long. He was worried about Jim and had asked his mother to take the children for the evening knowing he might have to use drastic measures to calm his distraught mate.

Jim was mid-rant when Spock snapped, “Kneel!”

Jim stopped and dropped to his knees without protest.

“Good, Jim. Now, I know today was stressful, but you must calm yourself. Tell me what you need, Jim?” Spock asked.

Jim kept his eyes lowered and his hands behind him back as though they were bound behind him.

“I do not want to think,” Jim said hesitantly.

“And what will make you not think, Jim?” Spock inquired.

“I need to not be in control. I need to know that you will protect Sarah and Teddy from Hohep; that you won’t send me back to Teldor,” Jim whispered.

“I will always protect you and our children, Jim. Now, I want you to strip and climb on the bed and lay down on your back with your legs spread and knees bent.”

“Yes, sir,” Jim said.

Spock watched as his mate did as he asked; Spock sighed, his emotional side didn’t like this part of their relationship, but his logical side told him that if his mate needed this, it was illogical to deny him. He turned and went to the dresser in the room they were using; he opened a drawer he had hidden the cuffs he had taken from medical; they weren’t the best for what he had planned, but they were padded and would not leave marks on his T’hy’la. He turned back around and found his love in the position he had demanded. Spock secured Jim’s wrists into the cuffs and then secured the cuffs to the head of the bed, so Jim’s arms were stretched above his head and gave little movement. He then took the second set of cuffs and secured Jim’s left ankle to the bed so that he couldn’t move his leg; he treated the right in the same manner. Spock grabbed a pillow and placed it under Jim’s ass lifting it enough. Spock didn’t say anything to Jim as he worked or when he reached and gently began to play with Jim’s penis and testicles. He knew from experience that this would leave Jim ready to take his mate’s cock quickly, but that was not Spock’s end goal; he wanted Jim to come several times before Spock entered him.

Jim moaned, and Spock snapped, “quiet, Jim or I will gag you. I want complete silence from you.” Jim stopped making noise and Spock resumed his ministrations. He spent an inordinate amount of time just rubbing and squeezing Jim’s cock and balls, and Jim’s legs began to shake from the effort of staying in one position and trying not to make noise as directed. He could feel his love slipping deeper and deeper into a headspace that he hoped would leave Jim blank of any thought other than the pleasure Spock was providing. Jim shuddered through his first orgasm of the night and panted trying to recover but Spock wouldn’t let him and just continued to stimulate Jim’s genitals.

“That’s it, Jim, just accept what I am doing to you, you have not other option,” Spock said slowly. Jim relaxed into the mattress more but was still not quite where Spock wanted him. Spock continued his attention to Jim’s sensitive parts until his mate made another noise, and Spock took advantage of it, “I told you, Jim, to be quiet. Now, I will have to gag you. Open your mouth,” Spock said, and Jim complied. Spock took the cloth he wanted to use and carefully placed the knotted part into Jim’s mouth and wrapped it around his mate’s head tying it in the back. Spock returned to rubbing Jim’s dick and forced Jim into two more orgasms. By the time Spock was ready to enter him, Jim was so lost in his pleasure that all Spock needed to do was to push in slowly, and he bottomed out without any effort.

Once buried inside his mate, Spock waited until he was forced to start moving. He slowly thrust in and pulled out of Jim, speaking all the words that at times were difficult for him to say, “I love you. I will always protect you and the children. Do you like not having control, Jim? Is this want you want all the time? You want me tying you up and forcing you to climax whenever I want? Is that what you want, Jim?”

Jim couldn’t answer, so he just nodded his head as best he could. He wanted what Spock was talking about; he wanted to be used, not abused. He loved what Spock had done to him, and he could feel his lover was close to his climax; tightening his muscles Jim did his best to push Spock over the edge and Jim followed him.

Waking the next morning, Jim stretched and sighed at how his body felt. He felt incredible, better than he had in a long time. He understood his husband’s reluctance to take their lovemaking to the extreme of the night before, but it was what Jim needed and wanted. As much as Jim hadn’t missed the whippings and beating, he had missed the bondage. It was hard for him to explain to anyone why he did because he just did; it made him feel better and more focused and centered after an intense session. He hoped to convince his mate to do this more often, because as much as Jim enjoyed it, Spock relished it, even if he would never admit to the truth.   


End file.
